Echoes from the Loafers’ Club Meeting

"I’ve been wearing some of those magnetic bracelets that are supposed to prevent arthritis."

"Do they work?"

"I don’t know. I just freed myself from the refrigerator door."

Driving by the Bruces

I have two wonderful neighbors — both named Bruce — who live across the road from each other. Whenever I pass their driveways, thoughts occur to me, such as: always give 100% unless you’re giving blood.

I’ve learned

1. Statistics prove that there are too many statistics.

2. A honeybee stings only once, but that’s enough.

3. Each day is unrepeatable.

The news from Hartland

1. City loses largest industry when 400-pound Fuller Brush man retires.

2. Hilltop House of Hotdish offers valley parking. The owner advises, "Yeah, there’s lots of room in the valley. Park there."

3. Elvis impersonation contest is judged on unoriginality.

4. Senior Olympian sets record for shot put roll.

Minniowawisdakotans

1. How do you get a Minniowawisdakotan out of a swimming pool? You say, “O.K., everyone out of the pool.”

2. How many Minniowawisdakotans does it take to change a lightbulb? We don’t change lightbulbs. We accept them the way we are.

3. If you are chased down the street by a Minniowawisdakotan waitress, don’t panic. You overpaid and she’s returning our change.

4. You are a Minniowawisdakotan if you get a hangnail and are put on a prayer list.

It shows the dirt

Lonnie Kormann, the local electrician, was the first to notice it. It being the new stickers on rural mail carrier Brad Spooner's license plates. Lonnie noticed the new stickers because they were the only clean spots on Brad’s car. Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds on both hard surface and gravel roads, but to an automobile, being a rural carrier’s vehicle is a dirty job.

Life in the past lane

My neighbor said that he hurt in places, but he was aging gratefully. He told me about the year the outhouse moved indoors. Until that time, there had been no running in the house and that included water.

I responded that I believed he’d had a deprived childhood, but that when I was a boy, we ate s’mores as a special treat. Melted marshmallows and chocolate sandwiched between boat oars.

Fall

I’m a fall guy.

I love it when the trees resting upon the last hill of summer have been fired with colorful leaves and the weather becomes variable but bearable.

If you're confused about when to set your clocks back or ahead, just remember this simple rule, “You gain an hour every fall and you lose an hour every time you watch an episode of Desperate Housewives. Fall is when we try to remember where we put the Christmas decorations. It’s a time we spend recovering from summer and preparing for winter. Cascading leaves hit the ground with a whisper. Fall is when it smells like pumpkins, leaves turn yellow, goldfinches turn green, and birds of passage move through.

Customer comments

Pat Coffie of Waverly told me that there is no pressure quite like that felt by a young bride marrying the son of a home ec teacher.

Ric McArthur of Ontario writes, “There is a sign at the local sewage lagoon that says ‘Trespassing by Permit only.’”

Nature notes

Skunks, raccoons, and squirrels make divots in lawns. Squirrels cache or retrieve buried corn and acorns. Skunks dig holes in search of grubs. Skunks are systematic, moving from spot to spot each night. Raccoons shred or roll the grass in search of grubs. Skunks do a neater job.

“Do Bounce fabric softener sheets repel mosquitoes, wasps, and ants?” Only if you swat them with the box the sheets come in. University studies have shown that they might work in repelling fungal gnats.

When hummingbirds sleep at night, they go into a hibernation-like state called torpor. A hummingbird consumes 50 times as much energy when it is awake (its wings beat 53 times per second) as it does when torpid. A hummingbird’s heart rate can drop from 500 to as few as 50 beats per minute and its body temperature lowers to 70 degrees from its normal 105°F. When hummingbirds go into torpor, they appear to be dead and have been found hanging upside-down. When a bird perches, it bends its legs. This tightens flexor tendons running down a bird's leg and causes the toes to curl, thereby clinching firmly to the perch and holding a bird in place. It takes up to an hour for a hummingbird to recover fully from torpor.

Meeting adjourned

A kind word pushes and pulls.

A major event was held at Pontoppidan Lutheran Church (just west of Lemond, Minn. on the Lemond Road) on Saturday afternoon, August 15. This great event was the marriage of Lindsey Lee Schlueter and Nathan Lee Hanson.

An unseen guest was present whom I knew would be there. This unseen guest was Nathan’s grandfather, Harold Hanson (my father). 

You see, when Pontoppidan Lutheran Church was rebuilt in 1963 (with Grandpa as one of the main members of the church leading the volunteer workers), Grandpa had a wish. He wanted to see a Hanson offspring married in Pontoppidan.

Nathan and Lindsey, you made this wish come true. Grandpa says, “Thanks.”

The Monday after the wedding, some of the nephews and nieces visited with Lois Farrell (nee Hanson) in Plymouth, Minn. Lois is the matriarch of the Hanson family. As matriarch, she gave each of us a hat of her many Norwegian travels and memories.

Sunday, September 9 is Grandparents Day. I know you had grandparents because without them, who would you be? Try “nobody” for the answer. Living or deceased, known or unknown, give thanks to your grandparents.

Arnold (formerly from this area) and Penny Kent invite you readers to stop in at “their” Hy-Vee store in Rochester. Rumor has it that they originated the slogan, “A Smile in Every Aisle.” 

As wheels, they want to show you their smile. Arnold is at one Hy-Vee and Penny is at another. By the way, readers, giving a smile is even more enjoyable than receiving a smile.

There is a “By Invitation Only” restaurant in Waseca named “Teschies,” owned by Russ and Marie Tesch. As a Lutheran church lady officer, Genie was invited to a meeting held there and I got to go along. The restaurant food specialty is Dunkable Cookies (I had four!).

Many thanks to the Random Acts Of Kindness people who left three white plastic lawn chairs for anybody to use at the sandbar on the west side of Beaver Lake. 

With Beaver Lake being so low, the sandbar was a gathering place for fishing, swimming, sunbathing, etc., during the hot days this summer. Once again, thanks.

I wrote about the “Genie Bra” last week. Genie showed me the package it came in, a major “No-No” as it said “Made in China.” Guess I’ll have to forward this info on to “Good Morning America” as they are pushing to buy only Made in the USA.

The Lady is back on the dock at cabin 74. She returned to Hawaii for a new hairdo, new skirt and some other cosmetic changes. 

After being gone for a month, she plans on being here about a month, then back to Hawaii until returning to Beaver Lake next summer. Lady, you are beautiful.

At the annual Beaver Lake Cabin Owners’ Meeting, the two main items discussed were: 1. mosquito control, and 2. the possibility of opening the channel from Toft’s Creek to Beaver Lake to help maintain the water level in Beaver Lake. There was some discussion regarding the motorized traffic and how to solve the problem on the non-motorized path between Valhalla and the South Side.

I predict the price of sugar will go down, due to a sudden decrease in demand. The Baltimore Orioles left our feeder as of Tuesday, August 28 for their winter home.

— — —

Bob is a retired AAL (Aid Association for Lutherans) agent. His wife, Genie, is a retired RN, currently working on her doctor’s degree in volunteering. They have two children, Deb in North Carolina, and Dan in Vermont. This is the Hanson’s 37th summer at Beaver Lake. They leave the lake in mid-October to go south — to Albert Lea — and return in April. Bob says if you enjoy his article, let him know. If you don’t enjoy it, keep on reading, it can get worse. Words of Wisdom: There is always room for God. 

After a hot end to August, the scurs have their heart set on a cool down. Will it happen this week? Starting Wednesday, partly cloudy with a slight chance of a shower of thunderstorm. Highs 75 – 80 and lows near 50. Mostly sunny on Thursday becoming partly cloudy with a modest chance of an evening shower or thunderstorm. Highs near 75 and lows around 55. Partly cloudy and cooler on Friday with a modest chance of a shower. Highs close to 70 and lows near 50. Mostly sunny and continued cooler conditions. Highs around 70 and lows near 50. Sunday and Monday, mostly clear and slightly warmer with highs of 75 and lows of 55 – 60. Warmer on Tuesday under clear skies. Highs of 75 – 80 and lows around 60. The normal high for September 10th is 75 and the normal low is 50. On the 5th we slip below 13 hours of daylight, about the same as we were back on April 5th. The scurs will be tuning to watch the Vikings, knowing full well a nap will probably break out.

The blast furnace like heat and wind last week moved the crop maturity along at a breakneck pace. Most April planted corn as of Friday had reached physiological maturity and soybeans were turning rapidly. Some corn has been harvested and the results are variable. On some of the lighter soils to the southeast rumors of sub-100 bu./acre corn have been heard. Closer to Bugtussle, the corn has been a pleasant surprise with moisture running in the low 20% range and in the 160 – 180 bu./acre range. Some recent sweet corn yields have gone over 8 ton per acre for the first time so there has definitely been some encouraging news. Unfortunately the cavalry never came in the form of significant precip during the last 3 weeks for most of the soybeans. They may turn out to be the crop that could’ve been once again. We’ll know once the combines roll and if things don’t change they could roll all night long just like last year.

In the garden, winds and high temperatures blew the sweet corn over the cliff maturity-wise in matter of two days. Corn that had been excellent to eat on Tuesday was done for by Thursday. Even the raccoons were apparently not impressed that it was sticking in their teeth. The melon crop has exploded as anticipated and the quality has been superb. Some years like last year, they were disappointing but in years like this one everything clicked. The cucumber beetles however have been doing their level best to make things miserable in the rest of the vine crops however. There is an exceptionally high level of spotted cucumber beetles this year not only in the garden but also in the fields. It makes one wonder if given the warm winter, we aren’t seeing some localized overwintering and what kind of diseases they might be vectoring. The cucumbers have about given up the ghost after their feeding and it appears they may have cucumber mosaic virus. The tomatoes also are showing up with some whitefly infestations but as of yet, they haven’t caused appreciable damage. 

On almost any given plant around our yard, one can find aphids of one sort or another. Dry, warm weather conditions seem to favor aphid populations. For instance I’ve located them on the oak trees, muskmelons, Indian corn and cucumbers. It is interesting to watch the beneficial insects hone in on the heavy infestations however. At any given time one can see ladybugs, lacewing nymphs, pirate bugs, syrphid flies and tiny parasitic wasps vying for their prey. It's apparently been an especially good year for the parasitic wasps as there are more aphid mummies in evidence than I ever recall seeing. Aphid mummies result from the wasps poking their ovipositor into the aphid, depositing an egg and the wasp larva consuming the aphid from the inside out. They emerge from the puffed up, typically tan-colored shell of the aphid body once their life cycle is complete. 

Overall, it is shaping up to be an early fall on just about every front. The heat and lack of precipitation has hastened the process. As mentioned, harvest has already begun in places and given the forecast, it won’t take long for fields to be bare. Trees have shed many of their unnecessary lower leaves due to stressful conditions. Some prime examples around the yard include poplar, ash, silver maple and black walnut trees. The dry leaves seem to have more of a typical October smell to them and when the wind blows, they have formed a mulch around some of the garden plants. The nannyberries have begun to blush as have the sumac. The nannyberries themselves are ripe which about 2 – 3 weeks ahead of schedule is. They were a tasty snack however as I made one last dirty, dusty trip around the backyard on the lawnmower. The weeds were just a little more than I could stomach and some of the grass on the west side of the house was long and still surprisingly green. 

Mrs. Cheviot made a triumphant return to the ranch after a week at the Great MN Get Together, and then promptly fell victim to this year’s version of the State Fair Sheep Barn Crud, complete with chills and thrills. Of course it probably has something to do with the diet she consumes while there in addition to the hours she keeps. The air quality and ventilation in that building has always left something to be desired. After about 4 days, the ammonia and dust in the place doesn’t do anyone’s lung tissue any favors. Stay in the Cheviot Sheraton or Hampshire Hilton for 7 or 8 days and it’s amazing anyone lives to tell about it. 

Ruby doesn’t care. She’s just glad to see us upon our return, regardless of condition. While we’ve been away, she’s been busy cementing her position as Most Spoiled Border Collie on the Planet. Staying at some friends’ house on Beaver Lake while we were gone, it’s a little like being at Club Med for her. I have a sneaking suspicion she might’ve tried to sleep on a bed or couch if she got the chance. Of course, we’d never allow that kind of behavior here. No sireee!   

See you next week…real good then.

The stereotypical assignment when students return from lollygagging through the summer is to write about what they did over the previous three months. Charlie Brown always had to do this and would ponder whether to write about yet another losing baseball season or his longing for the cute little red-headed girl.

However, I have never given my English students this assignment. Sure, they write about personal experiences, but I don’t feel a need to read about how much time they spent on Facebook or in front of a video console. But what do teachers do on their summer vacation?

My neighbor to the south often refers to how nice it must be as a teacher with these summer months off in addition to the periodic breaks throughout the school year. In reality, many teachers spend their summers involved in a lot of educational work.

Some teachers take classes to learn about new concepts in education or to expand their knowledge of an existing area. Others go to workshops to collaborate with other educators; it’s nice to leave the shell of our classrooms to interact with others in our field. Most teachers spend at least part of the summer working on curriculum.

A good teacher does not just roll over to the file cabinet and pull out the exact same thing from every other year. Times change, students change, and so must educators. Sure, I’ve taught Tom Sawyer every year I’ve been here and can’t foresee a time I wouldn’t teach Mark Twain’s classic, but I certainly don’t approach it the same way as I did when I began teaching.

This is how I spend parts of my summer vacation, between hauling my kids all over for activities. I often make notes in my files of ideas as I teach and changes to contemplate for the next year. The summer is a good time to reflect on those and figure out ways to improve. Again, the lesson plan might be a good idea, but it needs tweaks to make it better.

This past summer, I spent many hours between my laptop and my new iPad creating curriculum for our 1:1 initiative for our 8th-graders. This was a tremendous undertaking to look at how my materials would translate to this device. I created textbooks based on materials I used and tested out apps that will make my classroom much more tree friendly.

Do we have free time in the summer, perhaps more than many other jobs? Sure, but know that teachers spend more time thinking about the upcoming school year than you might think. We get time off from all of your kids, but after the summer with them, many of you can’t wait to send them back to us, and it should be easy to understand why we need that break: safety for all!

Word of the Week: This week’s word is vivacious. Vivacious means lively in conduct, as in, “The vivacious students flooded back, eager to begin the new school year.” Impress your friends and confuse your enemies!

Allan Mark Sletten, 51, of Ellendale, died Friday, August 31, 2012 at St. Mary's Hospital. 

Allan was born September 1, 1960 in Cooperstown, North Dakota, the son of Ferdinand and JoAnn (Paddock) Sletten. He attended grade school in Valley City, ND and in 1973, the family moved to Austin where he attended high school. Following school, Allan worked for Walker Feeders in Hayfield, the Foundry in Albert Lea, Hormel Institute in Austin, Dave’s Disposal in Owatonna and for the past 31 years Allan worked for Hydro-AX, now Caterpillar, as a programmer and machinist. He was united in marriage to Kari Kubista on November 23, 1988 in Owatonna.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to my newspaper column! Eh, that doesn’t have quite the same kick as when I have a microphone in front of my face. Let’s try again.

Hello! I’m Mark Domeier, and I’ll be filling this space for the foreseeable future, either until I run out of ideas or until you get sick of me rambling. I admit to being a little intimidated following in the “casual” footsteps of my predecessor, a column I always enjoyed reading.

What will I write about has been the most common question I’ve gotten. The title of this column says it all! It’s a saying a friend of mine in college used to utter. It never made much sense since you don’t really flip waffles, but I guess that’s the point. 

Being a teacher, I’m sure I’ll wander into the world of education. Being a sports fan, I’m bound to write about that. But I’ll begin with a little about myself.

I was born and raised in New Ulm, Minnesota, and am very proud of my German heritage. In New Ulm, we believe in a few basics for a fulfilling life: baseball, brats and kraut, and polka music. I graduated from New Ulm Cathedral in 1992 and headed east to Winona State University to further my education.

After graduating from WSU in 1996 and interviewing all over the countryside, Rich Lorenz called and offered me a job here at NRHEG. I’ve been here ever since and will begin my 17th year of teaching junior high English next week.

I met my wife Michelle on a blind date my first year here. We were married in 1998 and have two wonderful children. Jayna is entering 5th grade, and Anton will be in 2nd grade. We also have our big fat cat, Chewbacca, and enjoy life in Ellendale.

You can find me involved in many extracurriculars as I officiate football and basketball and umpire baseball. I suppose I’m best known for being the crazy guy shouting into the microphone at Panther football and basketball games.

As I type all these things, I have tons of ideas flowing through my mind for future columns. I should probably write them down, but if you have something you are interested in hearing about, let me know, and I’m sure I can explore it in a future column, especially if it flips my waffle!

Word of the Week: As an English teacher, I need to continue educating, even here! I’ll give you a word every week to try and insert in your daily dialogue and expand your vocabulary. It’ll be fun, and you might learn a thing or two! 

This week’s word is my absolute favorite word in the English language: defenestrate. To defenestrate is to throw someone or something out a window, as in, “My sister really annoyed me, so I defenestrated her from the first floor.” Impress your friends and confuse your enemies!

NRHEG grad Goslee named to NAFA 20th Anniversary Team

ONE OF THE BEST — NRHEG High School graduate Kyle Goslee, with his son Jace holding Kyle’s award for being named to the NAFA 20th Anniversary Team.

By KATHY PAULSEN

Staff Writer

Summer is here and, for Kyle Goslee, that can only mean one thing: it’s time to play ball.

A 1996 graduate of NRHEG High School, Goslee was a three-sport Panther standout, playing football, basketball and baseball.

But, another game has become his love and, 23 years after starting fast-pitch softball, Goslee was recently selected to the National American Fast-pitch Association’s 20th Anniversary Team during ceremonies held in Topeka, Kansas.

“I’m honored to be chosen,” said Goslee, one of four Minnesotans picked for the honor.

NRHEG School Board

By REED WALLER

Staff Writer

School Board Candidates

Results of filing for NRHEG Board positions were announced by Supt. Kevin Wellen at last Monday’s regular meeting of the NRHEG Board of Education. 

The terms of board members Mike Moen, Lori Routh and Michelle Moxon are expiring, and all three members will be running for re-election this November. Also running will be new candidates Jay Crabtree and Peggy Radjenovich.

iPad Handbook

The iPad Handbook was approved. The handbook will be issued with the iPads and contains detailed information about care of the device, identification, repair and replacement, managing files, network connectivity, acceptable content, school and student responsibilities and insurance.

By JESSICA LUTGENS

Editorial Assistant

The New Richland City Council held its second meeting of August at 6:30 Monday evening. Everyone was present with the exception of Council Member Amy Ihrke. Also present to discuss topics were Brad Field and Denise Becker, representing the New Richland Water Treatment Plant and Care Center, respectively.

The first issue discussed was the cleaning of sewer mains throughout town. It was approved that beginning in the early part of September, the following streets will be televised: Aspen, North Broadway, and Highway 13 from One Stop to the Willows. 

Then Denise Becker, Interim Administrator, came to discuss changes to come to the Care Center. The purchase of a $499.99 iPad and $39.99 protective case was approved, along with a $100 training course to those interested who will instruct users how to operate an iPad. The purchase and installation of a new walk-in cooler was also approved, totaling $5,000. New board member Michelle Muff was also welcomed.