Echoes from the Loafers’ Club Meeting

“Did you find out what’s wrong with my car?”

“There’s nothing wrong with your car.”

“If I’d have known that, I could have fixed it myself.”

Driving by the Bruces

I have two wonderful neighbors — both named Bruce — who live across the road from each other. Whenever I pass their driveways, thoughts occur to me, such as: if you can’t cook, don’t criticize another’s cooking.

Things I’ve learned

1. If someone tells you not to drink the water, don’t drink the water.

2. Vampires encourage kids to read books.

3. Someone looks up the word “dictionary” in a dictionary.

My neighbor

My neighbor Dan Druff told me that the last time he played hide-and-seek, he was a small boy, and he was it. He never found anyone so he is still it. So don’t hide around him. He says that a man needs to romance his wife. That’s why he puts his dirty clothes near the hamper. 

Wisdom gleaned from nursing home visits

1. Don’t save your best teeth for the graveyard.

2. Never miss a chance to go for a walk.

3. Always carry a handkerchief.

In a handbasket

There was a spot on our farm where I went to yell. I could yell from anywhere on the farm, but this one place offered an echo. It was a duet yourself kit.

One day I hollered something that I had heard regularly as a boy. I heard it at the café, the hardware store, and the elevator.

“The world is going to hell in a handbasket.”

I tried to picture naughty people sitting in burning handbaskets. The problem was that I wasn’t sure what a handbasket was. The closest I could come was a bushelbasket. The cartoon bubble over my head showed a bad guy in a bushelbasket surrounded by flames.

When I yelled, “The world is going to hell in a bushelbasket,” the echo agreed with me.

Blue Cross wouldn’t cover it

It was toast buttered, salted, and/or peppered to taste, and then covered with warm milk. It was something eaten by a sick person. Proponents claimed that it went down easy. I never found that to be true. I think it was because of the name of the concoction. Graveyard stew.

The tree house

We built a tree house. We placed the crudely built structure in a solid tree. It wasn’t a tall tree, but it spread wide and grew in a manner that invited the presence of a tree house. The only things that looked like ants from up in that tree house were ants.

We had guinea fowl that patrolled the area under the tree house. They were of the pearl variety — gray with small white spots. Studies have shown that guineas are consumers of ticks. We liked guineas. Anything that eats a tick is worth having around. The females called, “Come back, come back, come back.” The male and female guineas were good watchbirds. They made loud and long alarm cries at the slightest disturbance. Most were false alarms. They constantly alerted us to the invisible, nomadic people moving through the farm. My father believed that those cries would drive rats away. Lucky us, we had rats, ticks, and guinea fowl that we called “guinea hens.” 

From the bleachers

I was watching 10-year-old girls play fastpitch softball. It’s a great game and the girls give me hope. During the game, a man came from a house near the field and walked his leashed dog across the outfield. The outfielders at these games do not play deep, so the man and dog had room to roam. The dog stopped in centerfield and did one of those things that a dog does. It completed the higher number of the two acts you are considering. The man had a baggie and scooped the poop. No one applauded, but it was something you would never see at Target Field.

Nature notes

It’s a myth that daddy longlegs are the world’s most poisonous spiders. Spiders are venomous, not poisonous. Venomous animals store toxins internally and release them by biting or stinging. Poisonous animals typically secrete toxins through their skin so that whatever creature bites or touches them is poisoned. The daddy longlegs we have here isn’t a spider. It’s a harvestman — an arachnid that has no fangs, no venom, and produces no silk.

Damselfly or dragonfly? Damselflies appear slim and dainty. While at rest, they fold their wings above their back. Dragonflies are larger and at rest, hold their wings outstretched and flat.

Meeting adjourned

Be kind. Never look down on anyone you are not helping up.

My little brother, Eli, is 13 and plays Quad Cities baseball in the summer. While watching one of his games the other day with my dad, I was informed of these "All-Star" traveling teams, made up of kids Eli's age, or even younger. When I asked my dad what these teams were, he explained it to me. Basically, they're teams made up of the "best" players. Not everyone is allowed to be on these teams, just the supposed "all-stars." 

Now, I know I'm not the only one who finds this completely absurd. What adults can honestly tell 12 and 13-year-olds that they're not good enough to play on a sports team? That just doesn't sit right with me at all.

In a school district as small as ours, we want to get as many kids as possible playing sports. But when certain kids aren't allowed to play because they aren't "good" enough, it discourages them from going out for sports as they get older. If you tell a kid at a young age that they aren't good enough to play a sport, why would they want to go out for it later on? I'm not just talking about baseball, here. I'm talking about all of the sports that have these year-round teams: volleyball and basketball being two of the major ones. 

Sports, at that age, aren't supposed to be about competition. If they win, great, but if not, it doesn't really matter. I mean, it's just a game, right? Let kids be kids and enjoy themselves and play the game that they like to play. 

I know that writing this won't get rid of these teams, but hopefully it'll make more parents, and kids, aware of what's going on. This issue isn't a very well-known one, but I'm glad I was informed of it. Parents, if your kids aren't allowed on these "all-star" teams, I ask you to encourage them to continue to go out for these sports. 

Don't let anybody tell them they're not good enough to do what they want to do. I was always told as I was growing up to follow my dreams, to work hard at whatever I wanted to do and I would succeed. I'd like to give the same advice to kids, and teens, everywhere: you are good enough, no matter what anyone else tries to tell you. Keep working hard, keep a positive attitude, and you can accomplish anything.

All you old time bass fishermen have got to change your way of thinking that bass don’t bite after dark — they do! Tom Heimbuch, a part-time cabin resident at Beaver Lake from Mason City, Iowa, has proof. At about 11:30 p.m. along the north shore trolling with a chub on a spinner, he had a snag. Suddenly, the snag started to move away from Tom. The end result was a 22 ½ inch, 5.2 lb. large mouth bass caught by a 17 year-old high school senior. Who said old fishermen can’t learn from young fishermen?

What do Whitney, Max, Faith, Bailey, Brady, Logan and Annabelle all have in common? They have great grandparents who have a cabin on Beaver Lake. Grandpa Paul helps put the worms on the hook and take the fish caught off the hook. Grandma Paula, with a clothes pin on her nose, allows them to store the worms in the refrigerator.

In talking to Melanie Crabtree, I found out there has been a major change in their family life. Hubby Scott has literally given up fishing at Beaver Lake. She explained they bought the land where cabin one used to be and now Scott just doesn’t have time to fish. 

She went on to explain that the purchase has become a hobby and maybe even an obsession for Scott. With a sheepish grin and a twinkle in her eye, she confessed that she and the kids think it is a good obsession.

(The following was omitted from last week’s column.)

A volunteer grand marshal stepped forward for the tenth annual Beaver Lake Watercraft Parade held at 3 p.m. Saturday July 2nd. The grand marshall graced a float pulled by snapping turtles. The turtles had false teeth and false nails dangling just out of reach to keep them going. At the end of the parade, the turtles were permitted to chow down. Greg Wayne, a lake resident, was on hand to collect nails and teeth for next year’s parade.

Win, lose or cancelled, Grace Lutheran Church of Albert Lea and Central Freeborn (my church) of rural Albert Lea have booked a 56 passenger coach bus for Monday and Tuesday, August 22 and 23 to go to Lutheran Night at Target Field. The Twins will play Baltimore.

The bus will depart from behind Slumberland in Albert Lea. Monday night seating is home plate view and Tuesday is in the family section. Tickets are $45 per person payable in advance with no refunds. Please call me at (507) 373-8655, if you want to go. As of this writing, each bus is over half full.

The atheist, on his death bed, requested a Bible — when asked why, he said, “I’m looking for an eligibility loophole.”

Message on a church outdoor sigh in St. Louis, MO in huge black letters: “Bible Study every Saturday evening at 7 – B.Y.O.B.” (This was followed by small white letters, Bring Your Own Bible.)

— — —

Bob is a retired AAL (Aid Association for Lutherans) agent. His wife, Genie, is a retired RN, currently working on her doctor’s degree in volunteering. They have two children, Deb in North Carolina, and Dan in Vermont. This is the Hanson’s 36th summer at Beaver Lake. They leave the lake in mid-October to go south — to Albert Lea — and return in April. Bob says if you enjoy his article, let him know. If you don’t enjoy it, keep on reading, it can get worse. Words of Wisdom: There is always room for God. 

The scurs got a little surprise as did much of the area with the Friday night thunderstorms that rolled through the area. Are there any more such occurrences on tap for this Farm and City Days? Starting Wednesday, mostly sunny with highs of 80 – 85 and lows of 60 – 65. Thursday and Friday, clear skies with highs of 80 – 85 and lows of 65 – 70. Becoming partly cloudy overnight into Saturday with a slight chance of a shower or thunderstorm increasing into the evening hours. Highs 80 – 85 and lows around 70. Partly cloudy on Sunday with a slight chance of a shower or thunderstorm. Highs near 85 and lows around 65. Partly cloudy on Monday with highs of 80 and lows near 60. Mostly cloudy on Tuesday with a good chance of thunderstorms. Highs close to 80 and lows around 65. The normal high for July 10th is 83 and the normal low is 61. We have already lost some daylight, having lost approximately 12 minutes since the summer solstice. The scurs don’t care. They are focused on cornering the market for putty knives to scrape all the road kill Tootsie Rolls off people’s soles following the Farm and City Days Parade.

This past week saw more of what the doctor ordered for the corn crop in this area. Warm temperatures and some timely rain this time of year never hurts, especially for a crop that has been slightly behind thus far. It is apparent in many areas that the nitrogen properly applied last fall and this spring is still there judging by the reaction of the corn in areas of the field that had been pale in color. Some areas where water stood or there have been compaction issues there is no fix to it although some have tired. It’s a little like feeding a runt pig or a bottle lamb. You know that the outcome will likely be unrewarding yet it’s difficult to do nothing sometimes. Soybeans have for much of the area started flowering in earnest and second cutting hay has already been harvested in areas. Small grain and pea crops look good in most cases with the drier weather being to their liking as well.

The flying biting insect crop has been doing remarkably well too. Mosquitoes are making life miserable, especially near dusk, although on days when it has been relatively calm, they make life miserable during the daytime too. Deer flies have been a nuisance, especially when one gets near a body of water and their bigger cousins, the horse flies, are starting to appear as well. And of course the smaller biting stable flies have added their touch also, making chores with long pants a necessity most times. The toads have been doing their best to take a bite out of the fly population. I watched one parked by a feed sack the other night, curious as to what it might be up to. As luck would have it, the feed contains liquid molasses and that attracts flies, well, like liquid molasses. They love it. The toad patiently waited until the flies would crawl down within range, then would flick its tongue at lightning speed to get the insect and position itself again for the next potential victim. I saw it take at least a half dozen of them out of the picture in about 10 minutes and, given the number of toads we have around the yard, that gets to be a lot of flies and other insects taken out of commission. Cucumber beetles showed up this past week in the garden so if you haven’t looked at your vine crops in awhile, it might not be a bad idea to check them and treat appropriately. More benign insects, the fireflies or lightning bugs, have been putting on a spectacular shows every evening since late last week. Difficult to recall a summer where they have been more numerous than what we’ve seen so far this July. 

Around the yard at the ranch the fledgling birds are all over the place. There are some young orioles starting to come to the jelly feeder now and by the mournful cry they make when lost in the trees without the parents, one would swear they’d lost their last friend. Young wrens are noisily strewn about in the bushes and brush piles and this is just the start. There are several more nests so they are having a banner season. Young tree swallows have left some of the nesting boxes although there are some that didn’t get nesting right away or had to contend with house sparrows before yours truly stepped in and leveled the playing field a tad. The robin in the barn is on her second brood now with little heads popping up above the rim of the nest whenever there is commotion. And what would a farmyard be without lots of young barn swallows perched here and there as the adults feed them then teach them how to catch insects themselves so they can get back to raising a 2nd brood.

The 4th of July weekend came and went. With Mrs. Cheviot at yet another sheep show for the week, Ruby and I had to do it all once again. I tilled the garden, picked peas, sprayed weeds and insects, fixed fence, repaired a water line, mowed the lawn, got a load of oats, picked up feed, treated some sick lambs, did an hour of chores morning and night, all this while working some long, hot hours at work. And that’s just the stuff I remember doing. I’m sure I was starting to look a little gaunt, so my little fat buddy and his wife who live on Beaver Lake took pity on me. Never turn down a free meal, as another little fat buddy once told me. It was a wonderful opportunity to graze on a wonderful spread of food, visit, then relax in their boat and gaze at the tremendous fireworks display. Sure beat the heck out of getting in the house every night well after dark, wondering what could be tossed together and still qualify as food.

See you next week…real good then.

Irene Ameila Kaplan, 90, formerly of Blooming Prairie, died Saturday, July 2, 2011 at McKenna Crossing in Prior Lake, MN. Previous to moving to McKenna Crossing in June 2010, she was a resident of Traditions I in Owatonna.

 Irene was born in Summit Township on March 31, 1921, the youngest daughter of Frank and Amelia (Styndl) Maixner. She graduated from River Point School and attended Owatonna High School. Following school she worked at several jobs including Caspers Grocery Store and Huber Glove Company.

On October 4, 1949, Irene was united in marriage to Milton A. Kaplan at Associated Church in Owatonna. The couple farmed northeast of Owatonna prior to moving to their farm northwest of Blooming Prairie in 1956. Irene and Milt retired from farming in 1994 and the couple later moved to Blooming Prairie in 2000.

At approximately 7:45 a.m. Friday, the WFS grain facility in New Richland, Minnesota experienced a small grain dust fire. No injuries were reported. 

The fire was caused when the bottom of a 1,500-bushel hopper bin gave way causing grain to spill out and a dust cloud to form. It is believed that the steel of the hopper bottom fell against another metal object causing a spark that ignited the flames. 

No employees or customers were in the vicinity when the fire occurred, however employees heard the noise, including the collapse of the equipment, from the office and then saw flames erupting from the bin. Emergency personnel were called immediately and employees evacuated the building. 

WINNING DESIGN — 2011 Farm and City Days button design contest winner Hailey Stenzel holds her drawing as mom Becky Stenzel (left) and Farm and City Days Committee Member Lana Purdie look on. She will be entering fifth grade at NRHEG this fall. (Star Eagle photo by Jody Wynnemer)

By JODY WYNNEMER

Staff Writer

Curt and Becky Stenzel of rural New Richland can be proud of their daughter Hailey as her artistic talent will be on display for all to see. Her drawing was chosen the winner for the design of this year’s Farm and City Days button. Stenzel’s drawing depicts a farm complete with barn and silo, as well as a city with a house, buildings and a road.

“You can even see some horses through the barn doors,” said the young artist.

Hailey will be entering the fifth grade at NRHEG next year and lists her favorite school subject as spelling. She is active in 4-H and likes to ride bike, draw and go for walks.

For her efforts, Stenzel was presented an envelope by Farm and City Days Commitee Member Lana Purdie, which contained three buttons (Numbers 1, 2, and 3) along with 10 tickets for rides during Farm and City Days.