Echoes From the Loafers’ Club Meeting

I used a hundred dollar bill to start a fire in my fireplace.

Wow! You are dripping in money.

Not really. It was a bill from my dentist.

Driving by the Bruces

I have two wonderful neighbors — both named Bruce — who live across the road from each other. Whenever I pass their driveways, thoughts occur to me, such as: Humiliation is good. It causes time to slow down. If you sleep well, it’s likely due to a poor memory rather than a clear conscience.

The cafe chronicles

I asked the waitress, "What do you recommend?"

She replied, "That you listen to your wife."

The guy in the next chair ordered a minute steak. When it arrived, it was minute. He called for backup — a bottle of ketchup. He left an asparagus tip as a gratuity.

I watched a dramatic event at the next table. The waitress presented the check, signaling the start of a slow-draw competition among wallet owners. They finally gave the bill to the only one of them still working.

We were in one of the united states — matrimony

My wife enjoys knitting.

I don’t. Go figure. It’s a crazy world.

She uses performance-enhancing needles and needed a couple.

My wife found a knitting store. I parked the car.

"You should come in with me. It’s cold outside," she said, knitting her brow. That’s what she does when she’s not knitting.

Goodbye cool world. I went in.

My idea of a good shopping experience is to sit and imagine what the other shoppers would look like without their cellphones.

Inside the shop, I was attempting to become one with a price tag when my bride mentioned that the business had a second floor. We walked upstairs, taking our shopping to a new level.

I love this and that

There are maybe 3,000 stars visible to the naked eye.

When my wife and I ring bells for the Salvation Army, I see more stars than that.

While ringing, I spoke with a buddy wearing one of those down jackets that made him look like a giant hand grenade. He reminded me that I had the right to remain silent.

A friend told me that she’d come to the supermarket looking for a dip. She found me. Another friend said that it did no good for her to hang mistletoe at her house. Her tall husband hits his head on it.

Then there were those snowbirds that were getting ready to go to Texas or Arizona, who secretly (or not secretly) harbored a wish that bad weather be our constant winter companion. That makes their escape a wise one.

From there, my wife and I joined Judy Hendrickson at the Kiwanis Holiday Lights at Sibley Park in Mankato. At this lovely place with an impressive display of Christmas lights, we collected over 1,065 pounds of food for the New Richland Area Food Shelf.

On the drive to unload the donated food at Trinity Lutheran, there was barely room to breathe in my car. There was so much food, that both ladies were buried under it.

Despite the cramped conditions that rivaled flying in last class, it was a grand way to celebrate the season.

My neighbor

My neighbor is a frugal fellow. He can get four or five meals out of a paper napkin.

As might be expected, the tires on his car are far from new. They are worn nearly beyond use. My neighbor had a flat tire the other day. He was running late and was unhappy. He was changing the tire and it wasn't going well. He took to cussing. A local minister stopped to help. It didn't stop my neighbor’s swearing.

"You'll never get to Heaven with language like that," advised the pastor.

"Heaven?" replied my neighbor. "I'm trying to get to Hartland."

A bag of good wishes

I stopped at a don’t-blink-or-you’ll-miss-it town in Alaska. There was a gas station, a small grocery store, a cafe, a bar, and a contract post office — all in the same building. While I waited for my sandwich, I noticed that all the mailboxes were empty. I asked the proprietor/postmaster about it. He replied that he hadn’t distributed the mail for over three weeks.

"Why not?" I asked.

"Because I tell everyone that the mail comes only once a month."

Nature notes

"Do birds have a sense of smell?" Birds are able to smell. The ability varies widely among species.

Meeting adjourned

"Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible." — Dalai Lama. Merry Christmas.

The scurs have been checking the Weather Eye over to see what’s up with all the recent cloudy weather. Is there a “mushroom” setting they’re unaware of or will we see the sun before next week? Starting Wednesday, mostly cloudy with a good chance for rain changing to snow. Highs in the mid-30’s with lows in the mid-20’s. Thursday, mostly cloudy with highs in the upper 20’s with lows in the mid-teens. Partly sunny Friday with highs in the low 20’s with lows in the low teens. Saturday, mostly sunny with highs in the low 30’s and lows in the low 20’s. Partly sunny and warmer on Sunday with highs in the upper 30’s and lows in the upper 20’s. Monday, partly sunny with highs in the mid-30’s and lows in the mid-20’s. Mostly cloudy skies for Tuesday with highs in the upper 30’s and lows in the mid-20’s. A sneak peek at Christmas Day: A chance of snow under mostly cloudy skies with highs near 40 and lows in the upper single digits above zero. The winter solstice will occur on the 21st at 10:49 p.m. and we should see roughly 8 hours and 51 minutes and 9 seconds of daylight. The normal high for December 21st is 24 and the normal low is 7. More time for the scurs to sleep before facing those Christmas shopping crowds on the 24th.

Quite the spring weather we had in the last week. Most frost in the soil is gone and ice on area lakes has completely disappeared. Rainfall totaled 1.56” since the 10th at the ranch, bringing the total precip to 1.78” for the month. Fields that were still wet from the November precipitation have become saturated to the point where water is standing. Some tiling was being performed yet last week, although in places it was plenty muddy for that if the ruts and mud on the road were any indication. There has been some concern about loss of fall applied nitrogen, although most were careful to apply it when average soil temperatures were 50 degrees or cooler at the 6” depth. Soil temperatures have generally remained well below that so most of the N should be in the ammonium form. Along with the use of a nitrification inhibitor, it should help keep conversion to nitrate to a minimum. Once the ammonium has converted to nitrate, it is subject to both denitrification and leaching.

It has been a bizarre weather month to be sure. Lawns remain relatively green and the sheep at the ranch are still foraging around the pasture looking for those precious last few blades of grass. This of course after they’ve devoured a bale of hay. It would be great to finally get a chance to burn the huge brush pile in their pasture. As wet as everything is, it’s doubtful that it will burn very well anytime soon. That and here in the People’s Republic of Steele Co., I need to make a personal appearance to procure a burning permit so the STFP (Secret Trash Fire Police) drones can pinpoint my exact location.

This time of year gets so busy for everyone. Seems like we’ve been on a whirlwind tour for much of the month and we don’t have any kids. We spent part of the weekend before last at the MLWP get together in Chaska, then served at a Lions Club pancake feed in Bugtussle that Sunday. From Tuesday through Thursday was at CPM Shortcourse in Megalopolis, then on to choir practice upon my return. Had a good time attending a Christmas party Friday night near St. Peter. Then on Saturday, back to Megalopolis to attend the Gopher women’s basketball game courtesy of Vista’s noted Swedish astronomer and his bride. Sunday we attended an organ recital in a small town just across the freeway from Little Jerusalem. Somehow we manage to squeeze some time in to get chores done and go to work in between. Being a social butterfly is exhausting. Just might require a long winter’s nap.

We also managed a trip to get our live Christmas tree, although as one sage pointed out, once you cut it down it’s not alive anymore. Very true and one realizes that when it comes time to put it outside. After sweeping up the needles and other assorted stuff that falls out of them, sometimes one wonders if it’s really all worth it. However after having a real tree most of my life, nothing matches the smell of the real thing. Even after it goes out the door, it serves as a place to hide for some of the birds frequenting the feeders. And every spring when it turns brown, I entertain myself by torching it; on the sly of course in order to evade detection by the aforementioned drones.

Fudgie and Ruby seem excited as Mrs. Cheviot transforms the house from Thanksgiving mode to Christmas mode. They know the routine by now and rather enjoy it. It means extra treats and attention as we move closer to Christmas. There will be some leftovers that come their way as well since there will be plenty of feasting throughout the holidays. Both dogs are closer to finishing up their fall shed only to be replaced by the winter shed. Actually they don’t shed much this time of year and their coats usually glow from all the goodies they’ve been consuming. When company arrives Ruby especially enjoys all the extra attention and while Fudgie doesn’t qualify as Miss Congeniality, once she stops woofing, she picks and chooses. Her coat is as nice as I’ve ever seen it and I’m envious, especially when the rain dripping off the eaves finds the thin spot on top of my melon.

See you next week…real good then.

Any of you who are friends with me on Facebook have seen a plethora of Star Wars-related posts lately, mostly from people who see items related to anything and everything Star Wars and share them with me. With the latest installment in this sci-fi series due to hit theaters this week, the momentum building has been tsunami-like in intensity.

I love the Star Wars movies and everything related to them. From the first time I saw The Empire Strikes Back in the theater when I was seven, I was hooked. I’ve seen all the movies many times, read most of the books and comics, and even have a number of the action figures that I’ve passed on to Anton. There are Star Wars posters, Pez dispensers, and a large Darth Vader lurking in my classroom, as well as a famous quote from Yoda on my wall: “Much to learn, you still have.”

Star Wars fans may be one of the most rabid groups of die-hards out there. You’re guaranteed to see most people on opening night in costume and perhaps even wielding lightsabers outside theaters. I will not be one of those crazy people, but I will likely see the movie more than once while it’s in theaters.

Why the love for these films? I mean, the original film, produced in 1977, was done on a shoestring budget and didn’t have much support from studios. The storyline is one that has been seen in other books and movies. George Lucas, the creator of Star Wars, has talked often about how he used Joseph Campbell’s ideas on “The Hero’s Journey” as related to mythology when he lined out the path of Luke Skywalker, the main protagonist.

But I think that basic plot resonates well with people. The hero is propelled into action through a personal loss, finds a wise person to guide him, leaves his home, and faces a quest. All this happens to Luke Skywalker within the first half hour of the movie. According to Campbell, that hero meets new allies and recognizes who his enemies are before approaching a large trial, in which he again faces loss before finding the prize at the end of the quest and returning home a changed person. Again, you can see this path with Luke when he meets Han Solo and Chewbacca, runs into the evil Empire, and ultimately blows up the Death Star, but only after losing his mentor, Obi-Wan Kenobi.

As I mentioned, there are so many stories that follow this pattern (see: any Disney movie), but I think the true allure with Star Wars is the personalities the characters bring to the screen, which is in large part due to the actors and actresses Lucas used. Harrison Ford and Sir Alec Guiness were the most well-known actors, but others like Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher, and Anthony Daniels were not as experienced. Yet they are now iconic links to Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia, and C-3PO. Nobody else could have played Han Solo with as much ruggedness as Ford, and the voice of James Earl Jones as Darth Vader (along with that creepy breathing) is known even if you’ve never watched a second of the movie.

True Star Warriors will tell you that the original trilogy far surpassed anything that was brought forth in the prequels that Lucas released between 1999-2005. So there is a certain amount of trepidation associated with more forays into this amazing universe. Can J.J. Abrams restore the magic that so many of us experienced back in the day? The trailers leave me all aquiver in anticipation, but I’m not ready to declare the new movie as great until I’ve seen it a couple of times.

Will it make a ton of money? Of course. The Disney machine is powering this movie, and they’ve likely made their money back on presale tickets alone. It will certainly be the top-grossing movie of the year, and I’ve already heard rumblings about the Academy Awards. But wait, there’s more! Disney is planning on a movie a year for at least the next six years. There will be two more that follow the story of The Force Awakens along with an X-Wing movie and separate entries about a young Han Solo and also Boba Fett, the notorious bounty hunter. And you’d better believe Disney will keep pumping them out as long as they’re making money.

Will it be too much of a good thing? That seems likely, but much like all the Marvel super hero movies on the way, I’ll enjoy the ride as long as I can. May the Force be with you!

Word of the Week: This week’s word is sitzmark, which means the mark made by someone falling backward in the snow, as in “The sitzmark left by Chewbacca after the recent snowfall was much more noticeable than that created by Yoda.” Impress your friends and confuse your enemies!

Funeral services for Marlin O. Sandsmark, age 85, of Albert Lea will be held at 10:30 a.m. Monday, December 21, 2015 at Silver Lake Lutheran Church.  Rev. Randy Baldwin will officiate.  Interment will be at Silver Lake Cemetery. Military honors will be accorded by local servicemen’s organizations, American Legion and VFW. Visitation will be from 1–3 p.m. Sunday, December 20, 2015 at Bayview/Freeborn Funeral Home and one hour prior to the service at the church. Online condolences are welcome at www.bayviewfuneral.com. 

Marlin died Wednesday, December 16, 2015 at St. John’s Lutheran Community.

Marlin O. Sandsmark was born on December 30, 1929 on the family farm in Waseca County, the son of Oscar and Mabel (Neumann) Sandsmark. Marlin grew up in rural New Richland and attended country school.

Geraldine C. Vangen, age 78, passed away December 16, 2015, at the Owatonna Hospital. Funeral service is set for 11 a.m. Saturday, Dec. 19, 2015 at St. John Lutheran church, Owatonna. There will be a one hour visitation prior to the funeral service starting at 10 a.m. at the church. Interment will be at First Lutheran Cemetery, Ellendale.

Geraldine was born Sept. 25, 1937 in Albert Lea, MN to Raymond and Verdell (Hagen) Distad. She grew up in the Hope area, graduating from Owatonna High School class of 1955. After high school Gerry worked as an accountant for the Steele County Highway Department where she worked until retirement. She married Kenneth Steele in spring of 1963 in Owatonna, and later she married Odean Vangen in the fall of 1977. They both preceded her in death.

Tele-Care was instituted in the New Richland area in October, 1978.

In those 37 years, a lot of families have used Tele-Care to have volunteers check on their loved ones. Unfortunately, over the past couple of years it has been harder to find volunteers that were willing to help out in calling.

As of December 31, 2015, Tele-Care will no longer be available in the New Richland area.

A big “thank you” is extended to all of the families and volunteers for all they have done so that so many people could benefit over the years from their services.

The Nortonna Sons of Norway Lodge 1-638 will serve a Norwegian Christmas meal prepared by the Elks Monday, Dec. 21 at 6 p.m. at the Owatonna Elks Lodge, 126 E. Vine St., Owatonna.

After a very short meeting, they will sing Christmas carols and listen to featured speaker, Owatonna’s Norwegian Exchange Student, 17-year-old Oscar Christianson from Sortland, Norway. He will speak of his experiences here in Owatonna and life in Norway. Cost is $7.

If you would like more information on the Nortonna Lodge of the Sons of Norway contact Jim Otteson at 507-456-0674 or Nina Zak at 507-451-5841.

Normally, when one of the Wagner twins has a big night, the other follows suit.

That wasn’t the case in the 2015-16 season opener for the NRHEG girls’ basketball team.

Maddie made 10 of 12 shots from the floor and poured in 26 points as the Panthers pounded visiting Tri-City United 84-58 Tuesday, Dec. 1.

“It’s nice to start the season with a win,” said NRHEG coach Onika Peterson. “I think we held a great pace throughout the game. We were able to get TCU out of their full-court press. There are some gaps in our defense that we need to adjust. Overall, it was a great team win.”

Panthers rebound from season-opening setbacks

After opening the season with a pair of tough road losses, the NRHEG boys’ basketball team was more than ready for its home opener Friday, Dec 4. They made it worth the wait.

The Panthers played well and blew out Bethlehem Academy 66-41 in their Gopher Conference opener at New Richland.

“Any time you lose your first two, you really need a win to build a little confidence, and our kids played well tonight,” said NRHEG coach Pat Churchill.

Oakley Baker scored 13 of his game-high 22 points in the first half. Junior Tyler Raimann scored 14 points and grabbed eight rebounds while recording a dunk on his birthday. Also scoring: John Cole 12, Chad Agrimson eight, Luke Overgaard six, Benji Lundberg two, Sam Prigge two.

By JIM LUTGENS

Editor/Publisher

It was a successful week for the NRHEG wrestling team, which defeated Blooming Prairie in the Gopher Conference opener Thursday and placed fifth in Saturday’s Paul Krueger Classic at St. James.

The Panthers dominated the visiting Blossoms. Posting victories were Andrew Reich, 106 pounds; Bryce Okland, 152; Karter Sletten, 170; and Trey Hoppe, 182. Winning by forfeit: Cordell Peterson, 126; Cole Staloch, 145; Zeke Erickson, 220; and Wyatt Fitterer 285.

“In this match we were much more competitive then when we last competed,” said NRHEG coach Shawn Larson. “I was happy to see that we were aggressive in just about every match that was contested, even in some of the matches we lost. Coach Gimbel has his team competing at a level that we have not seen from them recently, and every wrestler they sent out was ready to compete. It was a good dual overall, however we still have many things to work on to compete with the competition that is coming our way in the near future.”