Echoes from the Loafers’ Club Meeting

What was your mother’s maiden name?

I don’t know.

How can you not know what your mother’s maiden name was?

I didn’t know her before she was married.

Driving by the Bruces

I have two wonderful neighbors — both named Bruce — who live across the road from each other. Whenever I pass their driveways, thoughts occur to me, such as: life would be easier if perfect lawns were made of weeds.

I’ve learned

• No one looks good while trying on a pair of new sunglasses with those retail tags hanging from them.

• Many men aren’t aware that there is a crumb tray in a toaster. 

• "Old MacDonald Had a Farm" is based on a true story.

The news from Hartland

• New pirate movie is rated ARRRRRR!

• Bowling Elaine’s offers a new league. It’s bowling with dodgeball rules.

• Local cable company changes the channel number for the Discovery Channel each day.

• Denton Fender was ticketed for running a stop sign. He went to court and pleaded not guilty on the grounds that he doesn’t read sign language.

Cafe chronicles

I liked the cafe right off. It was where 1975 had gone. A place where everything comes to him who orders the hash.

The waitress told me that she was getting older, but her eyes were still blue and only one of them was lazy.

Chowhounds were busy and contented. Stomachs were still smaller than eyes, but they were just as happy.

Euphoria filled the cafe, except for one guy who inspected his food as if it were a prison delivery. He looked like he was going to eat, but never did.

He complained that he had his good days. This just wasn’t one of them. He moaned about the selections offered, grumbling that a menu like a church potluck supper is only as strong as its weakest link.

Abandon all taupe, ye who enter here

I sat in a busy waiting room. A TV played to either calm or aggravate the seated. It was showing what must have been some kind of home improvement show. A couple of people were painting the walls of a room. It was the opposite of riveting. I have often heard the expression "like watching paint dry" to describe an excruciatingly boring experience. Perhaps that was the name of the program.

I shouldn’t complain about TVs in waiting rooms. They are better than me being a wolverine’s dentist.

Back to painting a wall. In those dark ages before cellphones, officially know as the Quiet Era, my wife sent me to a paint store to get, hard to believe, paint.

I’m not colorblind. I’ve passed all the tests. I can tell the basic colors. I’m good through the 16-count box of Crayola Crayons. Those colors are black, blue, brown, green, orange, red, violet, yellow, blue-green, blue-violet, carnation pink, red-orange, red-violet, white, yellow-green and yellow-orange. The identification of all the colors in the 48-count box would cause me some difficulties. Wisteria, cerise, manatee, and fuchsia?

Paints are even worse. Chartreuse? Mauve? There is a Crayon called "Mauvelous." I want to say, "Gesundheit" whenever someone mentions the color ecru.

In the paint store, I was surrounded by so many colors of paint, for an instant, I knew how Custer must have felt.

Washington

I spoke in Washington, D.C. I did as much sightseeing as possible while there, took in a couple of seminars, and listened to a Senator give a stirring speech about the obligations of an individual who lives in this wonderful country. A man seated near me began to cry. I asked him if he was a resident of the Senator’s state.

“No,” he said, “But I am a taxpayer.”

Good words

Libraries are full of them. I love libraries and am most appreciative of Linda Lynne’s years of fine service as librarian at the New Richland Public Library. I wish her happy trails.

Did you know?

• Tim Hortons has more customer traffic than the next 15 fast-food chains in Canada combined.

• Bob McDonald coached Minnesota high school basketball for 59 years without getting a single technical foul.

• Data on 756,848 pitches over 313,774 at-bats in 4,914 Major League Baseball games found, that on average, umpires called a strike on 18.8 percent of pitches that were out of the strike zone and a ball on 12.9 percent of pitches that were strikes.

Nature notes

"What bird is the state bird of the most states?" The northern cardinal is the state bird of seven states and the western meadowlark is the state bird of six.

Meeting adjourned

"This is my simple religion. There is no need for temples; no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness."--Dalai Lama

This is another “hopscotch” column – meaning it will be about many things.

If you’re in Audubon, Iowa August 1-3 celebrating the 50th birthday of Albert, a local celebrity, you might think it had something to do with birds or suchlike, because of the town name. You’d be wrong and that’s no bull! Albert is a 50-year-old Hereford bull standing 30 feet high and weighing 90,000 pounds (45 tons). He is the world’s largest bull, being nine times the normal size with authenticity right down to his toenails. Who said they grow ‘em big in Texas?

My nephew is the coach of a St. Peter, MN youth soccer team. His son is the goalie. At a soccer game against Albert Lea, in Albert Lea, some of my neighbors couldn’t understand why I wasn’t pulling for the local team. My Norwegian neighbors fully understood that “Blood Runs Thicker than Residency.”

The Epilepsy Foundation of Minnesota will pick up certain donated items left at the end of your driveway. The items must be out by 8 a.m. I blew it and forgot that Genie had asked me to do just that, but I did get the items out by 10 a.m. Net result: too late, no pickup. I moved the potted pretty flowers from in front of to behind the mailbox. In front of the mailbox I put the Epilepsy Foundation items behind a big sign that said, “Free.” When all was said and done, Epilepsy Foundation got the donated items on their next pickup, Genie got new flowers around the mailbox, and somebody got potted flowers free.

Somehow Genie got an invitation from Royston Insurance CPU of Harrison, Arkansas to attend the retirement celebration of an associational missionary with the North Arkansas Baptist Association. She wrote them back a polite decline, as she was busy that Sunday.

In checking for knee-high corn by the 4th, it was well beyond that. I did not consider where there was no corn due to flooded out.

Give your county a fair shake. (Maybe even the next county over.) Genie and I plan on attending both Freeborn and Steele County fairs.

I’m in the Ellendale Café enjoying their great food. I notice about six ladies as they enter. The thing that got my attention was all the red they are wearing – especially hats. Their conversation was very interesting – I really enjoyed listening to the one they referred to as “Queen Mum.” Her most interesting statement was, “Sometimes I wake up Grumpy; most of the time I let him sleep.”

Trivia: At Farm and City Days Saturday, July 12 in New Richland, two pancake flippers flipped enough pancakes to serve a little over 400 people. They wore matching blue and white aprons. They even have the same last name. If you can call them by their first name the next time you see them flipping pancakes, they will make a specially-shaped pancake just for you! (This offer expires at the end of the Sommers Line.)

I never thought I would see portable potties on Main Street in New Richland, but I did on Saturday, July 12. With Steve Stadheim and Bud Tollefson as my witnesses, “This is most certainly true.”

They say that “Location, Location, and Location” are the three most important things about a house. The above-mentioned outhouses were close to the pancakes being consumed. I wonder if there is a “get-up-and-go” connection.

———

Bob is a retired AAL (Aid Association for Lutherans) agent, currently working on his master’s degree in Volunteering. His wife, Genie, is a retired RN, currently working on her doctor’s degree in Volunteering. They have two children, Deb in North Carolina, and Dan in Vermont. Bob says if you enjoy his column, let him know. If you don’t enjoy it, keep on reading, it can get worse. Words of wisdom: There is always room for God.

Do you ever watch people at a restaurant or driving down the road and wonder what their stories are? Where are they from? What are they doing?

I like to do that a lot. One of my favorite times occurred when we took a family trip to South Dakota. We stopped at a gas station in Mitchell; as I was filling up, bugs were hopping everywhere and I heard a woman nearby, in a British accent, say, “Oh, what are these horrid things?” I spoke up and told her they were locusts (not sure if I was right). She really went off then! “Oh, how horrid! Look, it’s locusts, girls!” she said to her companions.

We had some chuckles as we headed down the road, trying to figure out who these people were and where they were going. Funny thing - we saw them again. That night, we checked into a hotel in Murdo, and there she was again, pulling in not too long after we did! But wait, there’s more! We also saw that group at a restaurant in Wall Drug. What are the chances? We might never know just what their ultimate destination was, but we sure had fun making it up as we went along.

Trying to create stories for others can be fun, but there are plenty of times I’ll just go and find out. This started years ago at a Twins game. I was probably in my early teens and there with my summer baseball team. The Twins were playing Toronto, and by talking with some gentlemen near us at the game, I found out there were from Toronto and traveled to every Blue Jays game! We had a good time at that game, and I discovered a boldness, even in talking to strangers, that was rather fun.

I haven’t encountered many situations where I can’t find a conversation. The most recent example was my trip to the Home Run Derby at Target Field. I like to ride the train in to avoid the traffic downtown, and you can create many stories and meet many people on that 45-minute ride!

The one thing I found on this trip was just how well known NRHEG has become. Multiple people, when I told them I was from Ellendale and taught at NRHEG, immediately wanted to talk basketball. I ran into people who had watched our girls’ basketball team the past few years during the state tournament runs and wanted to know all about Carlie Wagner and just how good the girls might continue to be. (My answer: still pretty good, and keep an eye on our boys’ basketball team too!)

I met an optometrist from Blue Earth who had a front row seat by the dugout. He must have sold a few pairs of glasses since he mentioned bringing his entire staff to a suite for a Twins game. Another guy was from Long Prairie, and as we watched the rain cascade down and delay the Derby, he bemoaned how he had a two-hour trip home and had to be to work by 6 a.m. I got home about 2 a.m., and he must’ve been home later than me!

While watching the All-Star teams warm up, I met a young man who had a baseball glove almost identical to mine (which is hard to believe, considering mine is over 20 years old). This was an advantageous conversation since he later caught a ball tossed into the stands, and I at least got a chance to look at an All-Star baseball.

A pair of couples sitting in front of me asked if I’d take their picture together. This was after finding out one of the guys had gotten tickets only by agreeing to a challenge from Gillette (one of the sponsors) to come up after the Derby and shave off all his facial hair, of which he had quite a bit!

On the train ride home, not only did I meet a man from Owatonna who has a cabin on Beaver Lake, but also met the most fascinating character in the night’s epic story. A short-statured woman entertained the entire car once we started talking to her with her stories of the 49 All-Star Games she had attended!

Upon prodding, we discovered that she was a Cubs fan living in St. Louis, a Cardinal sin according to this lively lady. She knew many owners in MLB and had visited every stadium. She babysat for some of the players, who in turn helped pay for her liver transplant. She was friends with the Barry Bonds family and spouted out a number of other famous players she knew well.

Now, she could’ve created all these stories, the same way I sometimes do when I’m out and about. Or they could all have been true. It doesn’t really matter in the end; stories add flavor to our lives, even if they are fiction. One day in Minneapolis gave me a full flavor to tap into when I write, and you never know when one of the characters I meet might help spark a new story to write!

Word of the Week: This week’s word is hortatory, which means strongly urging, as in, “The hortatory crowd on the train begged the lady for more stories of baseball lore.” Impress your friends and confuse your enemies!

The scurs got moderate temperatures to prevail but didn’t manage to scare up much rain. Perhaps they need to revisit the windshield washer on the Weather Eye. Starting Wednesday, sunny with highs in the upper 70’s and lows in the upper 50’s. Thursday, mostly sunny with a slight chance of a shower or thunderstorm. Highs in the upper 70’s with lows near 60. Mostly sunny again for Friday with a slight chance of a shower or thunderstorm. Highs in the upper 70’s and lows in the upper 50’s. Mostly sunny for Saturday with highs in the upper 70’s and lows near 60. Sunday, mostly sunny with a slight chance of a shower or thunderstorm. Highs near 80 and lows in the upper 50’s. Partly cloudy Monday with a moderate chance of showers and thunderstorms. Highs in the upper 70’s and lows in the low 60’s. Tuesday, mostly cloudy with showers and thunderstorms possible. Highs in the upper 70’s and lows in the upper 50’s. The normal high for August 1st is 82 and the normal low is 61. On July 31st the sun will rise after 6 a.m. for the first time since May 4th. The scurs are rummaging through their candy wrappers to see if there are any May basket leftovers. It’s a long time yet until Halloween.

We may need until Halloween to get some of this crop ripe the rate it’s going. Based on a May 1st planting date we are not that far behind on GDU’s. However, much of this corn crop wasn’t planted until around mid-May which puts it in jeopardy of an early frost. Many of the soybeans weren’t planted until late May so they’re in the same boat. Even though they are photoperiod sensitive a late maturing soybean planted late is unlikely to make it under the wire for a mid-September frost. Crop development is however moving along and some timely rains with warmer temps would help advance that cause. Corn is pollinating this week and there should be plenty of stored soil moisture to get us through that. At the SROC as of July 15th they showed 7” available in the top 5’ of soil with 5.5” of that being below the 2’ depth. The good news is at least the corn is tall enough now to hide a lot of the bad spots from the road. Soybeans are reaching the R4 stage, meaning they have a pod ¾” or more long at one of the uppermost 4 nodes. Small grain yields are starting to come in and they have been decent. Our cooler-than-normal July has helped immensely.

Gardens are starting to roll as well. At the ranch we picked a couple dozen cukes after noticing a few were getting close. Then of course you always miss one that gets seeded out inside. Those tend to make it over the fence to the sheep who love ‘em almost as much as we humans do. Tomato vines are healthy as a horse and slowly starting to bear a few more yellow pear and cherries. The first planting of string beans has just started to come online with the thin stand flowering profusely. There have been a few for snacking and they have been tasty. The snap pea seed arrived recently so we should be ready to commence our fall vegetable gardening over the weekend. Something about late summer planted greens, radishes and snap peas that isn’t the same in the spring. Smiling! 

Flowers have also been taking shape not only in the flower beds but in the CRP as well. Some of the notables include milkweed which provides the monarch butterfly with nectar as an adult and leaves that the larvae feed on. There has been a noticeable uptick in monarch activity locally and that’s a good sign. In the garden the volunteer 4 o’clocks have just started to flower so the hummingbirds and sphinx moths will have something more to occupy their time. As Preacher noted a few weeks ago in a text to me, the sweetclover has been phenomenal this year. The sweet aroma fills the ditches and waste areas where both the yellow and white type grow. Both are favorites for honeybees and many a beekeeper would set up near large patches of the biennial legume when it was used as a green manure crop back in the set aside days. When out driving one could always tell where those patches were as the bees would splat off the windshield as you got closer.

In the yard I can’t say I was happy to spot our most recent visitor, a red squirrel. My encounters with them over the years on excursions up north have been less than positive. As long as they stay outside they’re fine. Once they get inside a cabin however things get chewed up and wrecked in a hurry. Fortunately I only saw him the one time. Plus, the birds seemed to dislike him even more than the fox squirrels that they’ve come to semi-tolerate.

The orioles continue to frequent the jelly feeders although they may be showing signs of slowing down somewhat, unlike the mosquitoes. The mosquitoes consume a quart of blood every night while the orioles consume about a quart of grape jelly every 4-5 days as well as a cup of sugar from the nectar feeder. No wonder they don’t have any teeth! 

Fair time has been upon us already for several weeks now. The Waseca Co. Fair is in the books and the Freeborn Co. Fair is getting rolling this week. That means I am the beneficiary of some of Auntie Mar Mar’s most excellent baked goods left over from her entries for competition. Uncle Gregory stopped up Saturday to give me pointers on breaking down my most recent weapon of mass destruction and to drop off a large box of assorted goodies. I was most impressed by the variety and in particular by the muffins. I’m just glad I got whole muffins, not just the stumps.

See you next week…real good then.

Gladys M. (Hill) Winter, 96, died Wednesday, July 30, 2014 at Circle of Life Hospice House in Bentonville. She was born October 20, 1917 to Joseph and Minnie (Seck) Hill in Clifford, N.D. In 1920 she and her family moved to a farm near Thompson, IA. Gladys graduated from High School in Rake, IA. On December 1, 1938 she was united in marriage to John Winter. In 1951 she and John moved to their farm east of Geneva, MN where they farmed, working side by side for over 50 years. 

Mary A. Supalla of Owatonna died July 29, 2014 at Homestead Hospice House in Owatonna. A memorial service is set for Saturday, August 2, 2014 at 1 p.m. at Brick–Meger Funeral Home (1603 Austin Road, Owatonna.) Friends may greet the family on Saturday from 11 a.m. until the time of services at the funeral home. Interment will follow at Sacred Heart Cemetery. 

Richard L. Tracy, 71, resident of Lake Park, MN, passed away peacefully on Thursday, July 24 at his home in Lake Park. 

A Celebration of Dick’s Life will be held Tuesday, July 29 at 10 a.m. at Bonnerup Funeral Home in Albert Lea, MN. Visitation will be held one hour prior to services. 

Dick was born in Lemmon, SD to James and Catherine Tracy. He attended school in Pine City and later moved to Dell Rapids, SD where he graduated. He then attended Sioux Falls College in Sioux Falls, SD graduating with a Bachelor of Science degree.

By KATHY PAULSEN

Staff Writer

The Star Eagle recently received a letter from Joan (Radke) Cutajar, who resides in Australia. Joan graduated from Ellendale High School in 1965, which means in 2015 it will be the 50th anniversary of their graduation. Joan is concerned and anxious to get in touch with former classmates and to find out if anyone is doing anything to organize this historical event.

EAHS to meet at old Thompson Boat House

The Ellendale Area Heritage Society will meet Saturday, Aug. 2nd at 9 a.m. at the old Thompson Boat House on Beaver Lake. We invite you to join us for a time of sharing photos and memories. So, if you live in Ellendale or surrounding area, have a summer cabin or a year-around home at Beaver Lake, feel free to join us for a fun time.