The following observation is an old biker’s (me) definition of An Accident Looking For A Place To Happen. (This was seen on Marie Ave. in Albert Lea.)

Him and her on a motorcycle with him driving the bike. Both no helmet, both tank top shirt and shorts with sandals for shoes. She is not hanging onto him or the bike while texting!

The “Good Morning America” TV show has been pushing to buy “Made in the USA” products. The show went on to ask the viewer to keep this in mind on any non-perishable item when purchasing. A classic example was miniature American flags made in China.

In getting ready to go fishing, I decided to check some of the items I needed. A Minnesota 2010 Dairy Queen cap, some fishhooks and lures, my pocket book calendar, a little flashlight. Yup, all made in China!

As adults we all know what “T.G.I.F.” is in English. In visiting a first-grade classroom I noticed all the shoes had “T.G.I.F.” on each shoe. Curiosity got the best of me, so I asked the teacher to explain. “Toe Goes In First” was the answer!

There are a lot of “-ologist” people in this world. An ichthyologist is a person who is up on the study of fish. A malacologist is a person who is up on the study of mollusks. A malarkologist is a person who is up on the study of nonsense. The writer of this column is a charter member of the local Malarkologist’s Club.

This has been a very busy spring-summer for Genie. She has had laser and cataract eye surgery plus knee surgery. The net result is, she can see me a lot further away, plus it doesn’t take her as long to run me down.

As of this week I have 50,000 miles on my bike. Each ride is 25 miles. Doing the math, that means I’ve ridden the bike 2,000 times. The bike was a Father’s Day present 16 years ago. Doing the math, it is ridden 3,125 miles per year. Thanks, Dan, for the stationary bike.

“Twofer” is when you get two of something at the same time. I’ve shot one shot and got two ducks, also one shot and got two pheasants. I caught two bass at the same time on one lure. The following is a first “twofer” for me.

The gray squirrels are so thick in our yard in Albert Lea that I decided to relocate some of them. You’re right, I caught two of them at the same time in my live trap. They are now living happily in rural Freeborn County.

The Albert Lea Tribune, on a yearly basis, has those who want you to vote for who you think is the best. The best dentist, best restaurant, etc. in Freeborn County. One category they don’t have is the best “bedside manner” doctor. Genie and I both cast our vote for Dr. Kelley in Urgent Care at the Albert Lea Medical Center. Dr. Kelley has a full head of gray hair, is about 60 years old and not very tall. Dr. Kelley, you are great. 

By the way, Dr. Kelley is one fantastic Grandma-type lady.

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Bob is a retired AAL (Aid Association for Lutherans) agent, currently working on his master’s degree in Volunteering. His wife, Genie, is a retired RN, currently working on her doctor’s degree in Volunteering. They have two children, Deb in North Carolina, and Dan in Vermont. Bob says if you enjoy his column, let him know. If you don’t enjoy it, keep on reading, it can get worse. Words of wisdom: There is always room for God.

The scurs had some of the showers right last week, it just depended on where you lived. Will you have to move to get rain in this week’s forecast? Starting Wednesday, partly cloudy with a modest chance of a shower or thunderstorms. Highs in the mid 70s and lows in the lower 60s. Thursday, partly cloudy with a slight chance of a shower or thunderstorm. Highs in the upper 70s and lows in the lower 60s. Partly cloudy for Friday with a modest chance of a shower or thunderstorm. Highs in the mid 70s and lows in the upper 50s. Saturday, partly cloudy with highs in the low 70s and lows in the mid 50s. Partly cloudy for Sunday with highs in the mid 70s and lows in the upper 50s. Monday, partly cloudy with highs in the mid 70s and lows in the mid 50s. Partly cloudy for Tuesday with an increasing chance of a shower or thunderstorm. Highs in the upper 70s and lows in the upper 50s. The normal high for July 27th is 82 and the normal low is 61. We will see the sunrise after 6 a.m. for the first time since May 4th. The scurs will be sleeping in and savoring the additional dark time.

The heat from the past week moved crops along rapidly with corn tassels emerging in many fields. The moist soil conditions at planting have been evident as digger wheel tracks and other features undetectable until now have reared their ugly heads. Considering the later planting date, corn seems to be rather short, perhaps the opposite of what one might expect. However, there is a hybrid component to this as well, with many switching to earlier hybrids of shorter stature. Soybeans are all over the board depending on planting date. As of Monday, one could find soybeans between R3 and R4 and go the next one only to find them in the V3 stage. At least at this point, a drawn out harvest seems likely. Soybean aphids have been scarce and it would be a blessing if they stay that way. Many soybean fields are exhibiting weed control problems with waterhemp. It appears that the long expected waterhemp resistance to glyphosate has likely arrived. Overall though, the crop here still has potential. As many have pointed out, both the corn and soybean crop look good for late June.

The garden at the ranch also falls into that category. The string beans planted June 30th have reached about 6” and the sweet corn is about a foot tall. The cucumbers loved the heat as did the tomatoes, setting more fruit as the week went on. The squash are starting to move although it may be too little too late. Saturday was a good day for killing waterhemp on the prevented plant garden acreage. As of yet, no resistance has been documented in waterhemp to cold, hard steel. As thick as it was it made an excellent green manure crop. Ground was also prepared for the fall garden project. Snap peas, winter radishes and lettuce are on the agenda. With the drier conditions forecast, planting them now and watering them in may be the course of action taken. No sense planting seeds and waiting for late October rains to germinate them.

The lawnmower wars continue at the ranch. In spite of my best efforts, Whitey Jr. would still not commence likely due to a bunch of crud in the carburetor. No gas getting to the ignition chamber is usually a clue. Howard was repaired however and made an appearance after neighbor David’s grandson and ace mechanic worked on it. Howard is a little like his namesake I think. After deciding to quit a couple times while mowing, Howard too was not getting fuel to the carburetor. Unhooking the fuel line and blowing back into the gas tank moved the obstruction in the fuel tank. The next move will be to run the fuel level down as low as possible and remove the tank. My guess is there’s a spider or an insect that had made its home in the gas nozzle and wound up in the bottom of the tank. Removing a tank from another mower a few years ago revealed 4 or 5 spiders in the bottom of it. Finding one or more in Howard’s tank would come as no great surprise.

The orioles continue to gobble down jelly, sugar water and orange halves faster than ever. Every couple days the jelly feeder and orange halves need refreshing and cleaning out the nectar feeder. For those berry loving birds, this should be their lucky year at the ranch. The nannyberries, chokeberries, crabapples, honeysuckle, American cranberry and red osier dogwood are heavily laden with green fruit. Barring some unforeseen disaster, there should be an ample supply to help feed the migrating and overwintering bird population. Hate to send visitors at the ranch away with an empty stomach.   

It was time to switch to another cell phone once again and making the change has been a learning experience. There really is no instruction book anymore per se so you’re just left to your own devices, punching icons to discover what the thing can do. Luckily for me the young chap at the store did a pretty good job of explaining the basics of the system. There was an amazing amount of dirt in the Crackberry when he opened it up to extract the memory card. When I told him there was enough in there that we could bag it up and send it to a lab for analysis, he seemed less than amused. Must not be an app for that. He apparently was unaware that Confucius say, Agronomist have rye wit.

The new phone is droid based, different than the Crackberry to be sure. With a touch screen it’s capable of confusing you faster than ever before.  Now, I don’t like cell phones, but I tolerate them, categorizing them as a “necessary evil” in this day and age. Our society has put so much emphasis on instant gratification and worshipping these and other electronic gadgetry that some are downright rude if you don’t just drop everything to respond to the stupid things. When you start to feel compelled to answer your cell phone in the bathroom as a result, something tells me that we have gone too far. That’s too much accessibility. What’s even worse, with all this text messaging the art of prank phone calls has fallen by the wayside. All the fun has been sucked right out of it. No longer can you disguise your voice, call the neighbor to ask if their refrigerator is running or call the drugstore to see if they have Prince Albert in the can. Not that I’ve ever done anything like that but I heard stories.

See you next week…real good then.

Two weeks ago, I got on a roll about bad examples of parent behavior at baseball games. Here is the rest of my rant!

The worst example of bad parenting in a ballgame came, again, in Owatonna this year. There were two fields going, and I was in the middle of a great 1-1 game when a giant bolt of lightning struck about half a mile away. I immediately called the players off the field. The rules state that you don’t restart a game until 30 minutes after the last bolt of lightning is seen, so we reset the clock after every strike.

The other field was cleared as well. As I huddled with the other umpire, coaches, and tournament director, we could see that a storm was going to hit and basically wash out the rest of the afternoon. The coaches of my game wisely decided that, even though it was a tie, they were done and headed out.

The coaches from the other game wanted to try to get five innings in to make it an official game. I told the ump from that field that he shouldn’t go back out until the time had been reached. However, the coaches convinced him to restart the game five minutes after I had last seen lightning. Another bolt struck about five minutes into it, even closer.

I actually heard one mother say, “Aww, keep ‘em out there. We’ve got to make this official.”

I looked at her incredulously and responded, “Are you serious? What if it’s your son that gets hit by lightning?”

She insisted that they had to get the game done. I couldn’t do anything but shake my head. These were 15-year-olds. Safety should always be the priority, and liability also has to be considered.

The good news is the ump finally made the right call and got them off the field, and nobody was hurt. But there were still parents muttering that they should try to keep going.

As an umpire, safety always comes first. The right call comes next. Appeasing the fans is nowhere on the list.

I’ve told any number of people over the years that they don’t have to like me. They don’t have to agree with my calls. But they do have to respect me because I’m doing something that few people want to do, and since I am, my calls will stand.

Overall, the fans from our area are pretty good. Maybe that’s just because they know me. Maybe it’s that they’ve learned respect or know complaining won’t get them anywhere. Maybe they’re afraid I’ll hold it against their kid in school if they complain. (I won’t!)

Notice though that I said overall, not completely. We have people around here who need to work on understanding the need to shut their mouths. More than once I’ve offered my mask (or in football or basketball, my whistle) to a local fan since they seemed to feel they could do a better job. Nobody’s ever taken me up on it.

Here’s the thing: if you’ve NEVER officiated a sport, you CAN’T complain. You just can’t. The view from a field or court is so different than in the stands.

Again, we all make mistakes. We feel terrible about them. I blew a call in a recent game because I didn’t have a good angle. Did it change the outcome? There’s the rub. Most of the time, we’ll never know, except on a game-ending play. Early in a game, if a different call is made, the whole game could change. Or it could stay basically the same.

What people really need to understand is that we need more people to be umpires and officials. We need high school kids to try it out and learn about it. For one thing, they’ll understand the game better when they play. Many have told me, though, that when they have done it, they’ve had a bad experience with parents and/or a coach and don’t want to do it anymore. That’s too bad.

I tell beginning officials to call it loud and call it proud. If you do that, you get questioned less. And it’s just like any other job: the longer you do it, the better you get. You’ll never be perfect, but if you work hard and do the best you can, it’s a great experience. On the ball field, I feel like I have the best seat in the house.

The moral of the story? Enjoy the games. Let the officials do their job. If there’s a mistake, leave it to the coach to talk to the officials. Let your kids be kids and have fun out there. If you have to live vicariously through your kids, I feel sorry for you. It’s certainly fun when they win, but it’s even better when they improve and enjoy the games. Help them do that, please. And before you scream at another official, think about officiating yourself!

Word of the Week: This week’s word is amity, which means friendly relations, as in, “The umpire tried to foster amity with all coaches and spectators.”  Impress your friends and confuse your enemies!

Kenneth Harold Sable, 76, of Owatonna, died Sunday, July 21, 2013 at Koda Living Community. 

He was born June 15, 1937 in Ellendale, Minnesota the son of Harold and Carla (Hanson) Sable.  He attended Ellendale Country School.  He entered the United States Navy on December 29, 1955 and was stationed aboard the USS Ticonderoga until his honorable discharge on December 5, 1959. He returned to Ellendale and married Elaine Holland. In their union they had three children, Robert, Carmen, and Renee. They later divorced. He married Patricia Pichner on May 17, 1975 at Redeemer Lutheran Church and made their home in Owatonna. Ken worked as a welder at Owatonna Manufacturing Company for 28 years, co-owned S&S Sports Supply, owned and operated Rite Buy Liquor Store in Dodge Center for 11 years, and drove school bus for the Owatonna Bus Company until his retirement.

Melvin E. Jeddeloh, age 89 of Waseca, died peacefully in his sleep on Wednesday, July 17, 2013 at his home.

Born in Albert Lea, Minnesota on November 3, 1923, Melvin was the son of Otto and Clara (Wenzel) Jeddeloh. He attended country school in rural Waseca County before graduating from Freeborn High School in 1942. Melvin continued his education graduating from the Minnesota School of Business in Minneapolis. On August 22, 1945 he married Mary Lou Franzen at the LeSueur River Lutheran Church in Waseca County.

Baseball team to wear commemorative shirts

The Quad Cities Baseball Association 12-and-under team had special shirts made in honor and memory of fallen teammate Markus Misgen. The team will wear the shirts in this weekend’s tournament. Front from left: Tyler Jacobson, Carter Hagen, Spencer Tufte, Mason Okland, Quinten Arndt, Jordan Cornelius, Hunter Bauman, Louis Wagner, Peyton Castle and Jake Stork. Back: Bonnie Klemmensen, Missy Tufte, Dean Hogstad, Alan Zimmerman, Devin Buendorf, Sawyer VanMaldeghem, Andre Hill, Brady Agrimson, Hunter Tufte, Dylan Mosher, Alex Buckmeier, Jacob Schuller, Louis Bailey, coach Steve VanMaldeghem and coach Andy Buckmeier. Missing from photo: Jack Hogstad. Markus’s baseball glove lies on second base. (Star Eagle photo by Kathy Paulsen)

Despite forecast, rains hold off for Zoe’s Rainbow Dash

By JIM LUTGENS

Editor/Publisher

It was a strange weather phenomenon that caused the winds that sank the boat and killed Sue and Zoe McDonough July 5, 2012 in Chattanooga, Tenn.

Another strange thing happened with the weather this year.

Contrary to every forecast, it did not rain during the inaugural Zoe’s Rainbow Dash, a 5K run in memory of beloved New Richland resident Sue McDonough and her granddaughter Zoe held July 4 in Chattanooga.

“The forecast said there was 100 percent chance of rain, and the Weather Channel forecast is almost always on the money,” said Brett McDonough, Zoe’s father. “The radar showed a huge, red wall. When it got to Chattanooga, it broke up and moved around the city. It didn’t rain during the race. It was pretty miraculous, actually.”

By KATHY PAULSEN

Staff Writer

A sloppy joe dinner and silent auction for Shyleigh Howe is being planned for Saturday, July 27 at The Refuge, 702 3rd Street South in Ellendale. It starts at 4 p.m.

Shyleigh Lynne Howe, the daughter of Brad and Sarah (Bosshart) Howe, of Ellendale, was born June 4. She weighed 7 lbs., 4 ounces and measured 19 inches at the time of her birth.

Following Shyleigh Lynne’s birth, she underwent several tests at the Rochester Mayo Clinic. The doctors determined Shyleigh has a very rare genetic condition called Trisomy 13 and had to remain in the hospital for several weeks for further treatment. The Mayo Clinic has only seen one other case. It is hoped the early intervention that Shyleigh received will help her avoid some of the devastating effects of this rare condition.

By KATHY PAULSEN

Staff Writer

A blue-eyed, handsome young boy who loved and lived life to the fullest, Markus Misgen’s life was cut short in his 12th year. Marcus died Thursday, July 11 at the Owatonna hospital. Although he had previous medical issues, the cause of death is not known.

Though his sudden death was a shock, filled with unbelievable sadness to those in the community, he will be remembered for his many interests and activities.