Echoes From the Loafers’ Club Meeting

"I think life is like scalding hot coffee in a chipped cup."

"Why is that?"

"How should I know? I’m not a philosopher."

Driving by the Bruces

I have two wonderful neighbors — both named Bruce — who live across the road from each other. Whenever I pass their driveways, thoughts occur to me, such as: wherever I look, there is scenery.

I’ve learned

• Rumors travel around the world before truth gets out of bed.

• Mark Twain didn’t know Shania Twain. And never the Twains shall meet.

• To not judge myself by the past. I don’t live there anymore.

The headlines from Hartland

• The package of Jiffy Pop on the wall of the Eat Around It Cafe is a fire alarm.

• Proctologist punched by patient suffering from 'roid rage.

• Fitless Fitness Center wishes you a happy rear end.

Cafe chronicles

Snow, salt, slush, and window washer solution had bonded to my back window like epoxy. The combination overpowered the windshield wiper. Weary of driving, I stopped at a cafe to stoke the furnace.

I sat down. He sat by me. He was a talker looking for new blood. He’d left numbed conversational carcasses scattered about the cafe.

He was a good guy. He just liked to talk more than he liked to listen. His words had no economy.

I curbed my urge to bolt and listened hard. I nodded or smiled when appropriate and uttered short words in response.

I didn’t return to that cafe for a few months. When I did, I was told that the talker had died.

I’m glad that I listened. It was a good thing.

We do well by doing good.

New Year’s resolutions

When the old year left, I’m thankful that you didn’t go with it. Let the past year go. If you don't stop picking at it, it will never heal and it may become infected.

I don’t usually make New Year’s resolutions. However, I’m stubborn, which means I’m good at quitting things. Last year, I gave up doing those polar bear plunges into frigid lakes without ever having done it once. It’s not a bad idea to make a resolution I can keep. Next year, I’m resolving that I will not buy a Ferrari. This year, I’m going to refrain from telling anyone how busy I am.

Everyone is busy.

Bird do-it-yourselfers

Many people claim that birds don’t use tools. If that’s true, why did I see a house sparrow in the tool department of the hardware store?

I’ve read about it, but I’ve not watched Duck Dynasty. We don’t receive the TV channel that carries it. That’s OK. I don't think I'd like it. That's because I grew up during the Daffy Duck Dynasty. There can be only one duck dynasty for me.

Oh, Canada

I was in a restaurant in Alberta, Canada. It offered a 72-ounce steak. If you could eat it all, it was free. There was a short list of those who had done so. I imagined an ambulance crew standing nearby.

Some of the conquerors were women. If any man thinks women are the weaker sex, he should try pulling the blankets back to his side.

My wife and I enjoyed the hospitality of Marla Calhoun of New Richland. After fine dining, including a delicious tater tot hotdish, we sat at the table and talked. After another guest made a clever retort, Marla remarked, "Everyone is a comedian."

She Who Puts Up With Me, seated a bit farther from Marla, added, "I love listening to the CBC."

The CBC. The Canadian Broadcasting Corporation.

To my bride everyone is a Canadian.

Did you know?

• A Disney spokeswoman said that the average park visitor walks about seven miles per visit.

• The Oxford English Dictionary contains 171,476 words in current use and 47,156 obsolete words.

• Green bean casserole is the most popular recipe to come out of Campbell’s Soup corporate kitchen.

Nature notes

Cindy Martin of Albert Lea asks what gulls follow tractors in the field. A small, black-headed gull of the prairies, the Franklin's gull, is a common sight behind farm implements exposing worms, insects, and mice. I once called them "prairie doves." Another common gull that feeds on the invertebrates freed by the plow is the ring-billed gull. It isn’t black-headed, is larger than a Franklin’s, and has a ring around its yellow bill.

Some call it a book

My book "A Life Gone to the Birds" is available at www.albatt.net. Thank you for reading.

Meeting adjourned

I wish you more laughs than tears. Edith Lovejoy Pierce wrote, "We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them.” Make them kind words.

January 1 is a holy day in the Catholic Church, honoring Mary as the Mother of God. To the best of my understanding, one of the biggest differences between Catholics and other denominations of Christianity is the way in which Mary is worshipped.

I find it ironic then that the Catholic Church places Mary on this pedestal, but they lag behind other religions in how women are treated overall.

Growing up, only the boys in my class were trained to be altar servers. I don’t recall many women reading at mass in those earlier days. About the only place you’d find a woman involved was as an organist or member of the choir.

This changed slowly. Girls were allowed to be acolytes a couple years after I started. Women are more prevalent in all aspects of mass roles. Except one.

When will women be allowed a place in becoming priests? I used to think, “Not in my lifetime,” but Pope Francis sure seems to be a little more liberal in his thinking. He raised eyebrows during his first Holy Week as the pontiff last year in allowing women to be part of the traditional foot-washing ceremony on Holy Thursday. This had not been done before, with the rationale that these people represented the apostles of Jesus.

I always want to shake my head when people use the Bible as an excuse for being prejudiced. “It’s in the Bible!” Really? Shall we dive into both the Old and New Testaments’ rules about slaves? Apparently, it’s okay to buy them from the countries around you, but not any farther away. How about the rules for food that is clean or unclean? Our menus would be a lot shorter if we followed biblical rules.

So before someone says women can’t be priests because they represent the Apostles, who were all men, and the Bible says so, hold your horses. You don’t get to pick and choose which Bible verses you follow. You either follow ALL of them word for word or go with the understanding that, historically, things change.

During Jesus’ time, women were not considered anywhere near equal to men, so of course He would not call them to be his closest companions – who would take Him seriously? If Jesus showed up today and cavorted around with 12 men, many would question that. It’s much more likely that he would have a more diverse group of friends.

Before Pope Francis was picked, I used this forum to wish the Catholic Church would pick someone who could modernize the church in order to bring people back to worship. The pope has begun this process through his welcoming of all people, no matter who they are, what area of diversity they represent, or what they believe.

I bet the pope would even invite Phil Robertson to come for a visit. All the hype about the Duck Dynasty star’s comments received much more attention than they deserved. Everyone’s entitled to an opinion, and whether you agree with someone or not does not make your antagonist a bad person. I’m sure there will be people who disagree with my ideas in this column, but I’m not going to hate you because you don’t agree with me.

Let’s face it: the Catholic Church has a couple of big problems right now – a lack of priests and the abuse scandal. Don’t for a minute think those two aren’t related. If women could be priests and especially if priests could be married, the abuse would not be so widespread.

The Church continues to lose people though; it’s not surprising folks won’t trust an institution that allows and covers up a scandal, but then turns around and says being a leader in that Church is a calling that only 50% of the population can have. Plus, the Church has always said its leaders are infallible and have tried to worm out of laws in our country, hiding behind some old-fashioned code of separation of church and state in that arena.

Perhaps Pope Francis is laying the groundwork already to allow 100% of people who feel called by God to become priests. It sure seems like it if you examine his words closely. I pray this is so, because it would go a long way to saving the church in so many areas.

Word of the Week: This week’s word is pecksniffian, which means pretending to have high moral standards, as in, “The columnist hoped he did not come off as pecksniffian since he really stood by what he said.” Impress your friends and confuse your enemies!

The scurs didn’t see the polar express coming down the pike for the weekend and Monday. Will they have better foresight with the upcoming week’s forecast? Starting Wednesday, mostly cloudy with highs in the middle single digits and lows slightly below zero. Thursday, mostly cloudy with highs in the mid-teens and lows around 10. Friday, mostly cloudy with a slight chance of snow. Highs in the upper 20’s and lows in the upper teens. Mostly sunny on Saturday with highs in the upper 20’s and lows near 15. Mostly cloudy Sunday with a slight chance for snow. Highs near the freezing mark and lows in the upper teens. Mostly sunny on Monday with highs near freezing and lows in the mid-teens. Mostly sunny on Tuesday and cooler with highs in the lower 20’s and lows in the mid-teens. The normal high for January 10th is 22 and the normal low is 4. The scurs are checking into tickets for somewhere warmer the next time one of these brutal cold snaps blow through.

Frost and ice depth readings continue marching downward. Cold temperatures and windy conditions with the lack of snow cover are compounding matters.  Last check at the SROC in Waseca, frost measured 21” deep on January 6th and reports from area lakes have ice nearing the 2 foot mark. If this keeps up, we may see the need for auger extensions in this part of the state before long. Have also noticed some large cracks in the ground opening up since the coldest weather with the lack of snowfall. There is some light at the end of the tunnel however. On the 10th we will experience 9 hours and 9 minutes of daylight, an increase of 10 minutes since the 1st and 16 minutes more than on the winter solstice. The sun will also set after 5 p.m. on January 14th, something it hasn’t done since November 3rd. See? Things really are looking up. Once everyone’s water pipes are thawed out and their vehicles start again we should be able to enjoy it.

Sunday ahead of the storm, additional bales were placed around the well pit at the ranch as a precautionary measure. Sunday night chores gave us a foretaste of what was to come, with winds beginning to gust over 30 mph. Temperatures fell from a high near zero to -11 within a matter of an hour then plummeted to a Monday morning low of -21. Wind chills were in the -45 range. Didn’t matter to the ewes. They came boiling out of their barn ready to chow down. Luckily we are not in lambing mode yet so chores have not become the hassle they will be in another two months. Most of the ewes are in excellent condition and with their fleeces continuing to grow, they can nearly bowl you over at feeding time.

Ruby and Fudgie continue to deal with the weather somewhat differently as we wrote last week. Fudgie’s coat is very thick and heavy, making her look somewhat like a red bear. She’s been spending more and more time outside during chores this past week and loves rolling in what little snow we have.  Ruby on the other hand still has a rather slick coat although it has an undercoat that continues to thicken underneath. She stays warm by tearing around like a banshee but likes to get out and back in as quickly as possible when it’s been bitterly cold. I can relate to that although if I had a sauna or lots of fur, I might be tempted to roll in the snow some too. 

The bird watching has followed the weather patterns fairly closely this winter. With the onset of colder conditions, the activity and variety tends to increase at the feeders. Some of the characters are the same as the week before with the juncos continuing to feed out of the tube feeders and the Harris sparrow remains with the group, opting to feed whatever lands on the ground. The blue jays are pushing everyone away from “their” feeders and a pair of nuthatches appeared again Sunday afternoon. The woodpeckers keep the suet occupied almost constantly with downies and hairies leading the way. There have been a couple red-bellied woodpeckers too although it’s hard to say if they’re a pair. They are male and female but they rarely appear together. The cardinals continue to grace our feeding area and have taken a shine to the safflower recently added, picking it up off the ground where the other birds toss it out of the feeders. Word must be getting out because a second male has now appeared. The cardinals are often the first to appear in the morning and the last to be seen in the evening. Looking for the beautiful red plumage of the males makes watching the birds like a game of “Where’s Waldo?”.

To keep Mrs. Cheviot from going completely stir-crazy during these periods of confinement due to the cold weather, she enjoys putting together puzzles. Apparently Mr. Cheviot doesn’t offer much of a challenge anymore in that department. She has me pretty well figured out I’m afraid. That’s OK. There are plenty of things Mr. Cheviot has to do like making sure the physical plant continues operating as it should. Then of course there are always naps upon completion of those tasks. Taking naps, putting together puzzles, it’s all the same. Everyone needs a hobby.

See you next week…real good then.

30th Annual Geneva Cancer Auction kicks off this weekend

By KATHY PAULSEN

Staff Writer

With the hustle and bustle of the holidays, we may have forgotten it will soon be that time of the year for the annual Geneva Cancer Auction, which this year marks the 30th anniversary.

The cancer auctions over the years at Geneva Bar & Grill have been so successful, it should be a stimulus to not only continue the efforts, but strive for even more. 

Grab your sellable treasures and homemade goodies and that special hometown spirit and come out for some great fun and fund raising in Geneva. Donations can be dropped off at Geneva Bar & Grill any time. It is hoped that many of the great cooks from the area will also bring along some tasty food items for the auction when they come to support this yearly fundraising event.

ID Frosty for $325, find Medallion and win $1500!

Who is “Frosty?” Where is the Medallion?

Identify Frosty — or find the Medallion — and win some cash! Prize money totaling $3,000 is waiting to be won, $1,500 for the Frosty Contest and $1,500 to the finder of the Medallion.

Frosty is a Waseca County resident chosen to be an ambassador for the Waseca Sleigh & Cutter Festival. Follow the clues and guess Frosty’s name.

Remembering the life of Joell K. Quiram

Memorial services for Joell K. Quiram, 49, of Hartland, MN, will be held at 10 a.m. on Saturday, January 11, 2014 at Trinity Lutheran Church, New Richland. The Reverend Paul Andree will officiate. Friends may visit with family from 5-8 on Friday at Friedrich Funeral Home, New Richland and one hour before services at the church.

Hobbs lands fashion job in New York

HARTLAND GIRL AT HOME IN NYC — 2010 NRHEG High School graduate Kayna Hobbs feels at home in New York City, well on her way to a glamorous fashion career.

By KATHY PAULSEN

Staff Writer

How do you spell “impressive?” One way to spell it is “Kayna Hobbs.”

Hobbs, daughter of Gwyn Regehr of Hartland and a 2010 graduate of NRHEG High School, is well on her way to a glamorous fashion career in New York City.

Hobbs’s parents can attest to her love of clothing and fashion, starting back when she was just a young child. By the time she got to middle school, she was watching the runway shows on television and reading all the fashion magazines she could get her hands on. She has always loved the big city over country life, but she says now she is grateful to have experienced both environments.

Gopher Conference Boys’ Basketball

Conf Ovr

NRHEG 3-0 8-1

Blooming Prairie 2-1 6-2

USC 2-1 6-2

WEM 2-1 7-4

Faribault BA 2-1 4-3

Maple River 1-2 4-6

Randolph 0-3 3-6

Medford 0-3 2-5

100 Years Back – 1914

• Mr. and Mrs. F.L. Whiting and daughter Enid came into New Richland Christmas Eve to shop and attend the picture show, but when they learned the show would not be given until Christmas night they started for home, about eight o’clock. When about a mile west of town, between the Bindewald and Bolduan farms, they met an auto coming to town. Mr. Whiting saw that it was recklessly driven and so turned completely out of the road, but the driver of the machine managed nevertheless to reach them and strike the rear wheel of the carriage. The occupants of the carriage were uninjured, except for a shaking up.

• Mayor F.W. Prail of Waseca announced last week that he had a large amount of evidence at hand in regard to gambling at Waseca but for the sake of the wives and mothers of several of the recreants he has laid down his hand for the present – giving fair warning. Every week reports come to this paper about the gambling menace and it seems queer the matter is allowed to go without investigation. Let us hope Mayor Prail will do his full duty if gambling continues at Waseca.

2013 crops year in review

By MARK BERNARD

Contributing Writer

The 2013 cropping season is in the books for most, and not a moment too soon. A growing season that had the potential on paper to be a dream for many turned out to be a nightmare. Coming out of the fall of 2012, soil conditions were very dry and concerns of having enough moisture to keep a crop going abounded. Soil moisture conditions the fall before had been similar and pulling off another crop like 2012 couldn’t be ruled out. As the old adage goes, plant in the dust, bins will bust. Plant in the mud, crop is a dud. Soil moisture changed over the course of the winter and by April, some of the snow had melted into the soil surface, adding precious moisture for spring planting.