Echoes from the Loafers’ Club Meeting

I put my shoes on the wrong feet this morning.

How could you possibly do that?

I had my legs crossed while I was putting on my shoes.

Driving by the Bruces

I have two wonderful neighbors — both named Bruce — who live across the road from each other. Whenever I pass their driveways, thoughts occur to me, such as: conceit is nature’s way of identifying idiots.

The news from Hartland

• Thanks to his young son finding out where the paint was stored, Joseph now has a goat of many colors.

• Bob the Olson buys a dog that looks like Brad Pitt so Bob will be happy when he starts looking like his pet.

• The Eat Around It Cafe offers no menus. They don’t want to leave a paper trail.

The cafe chronicles

He said that he comes to the cafe every day because his wife's cooking is so bad, mice bring their own cheese to bait the traps in his house. He considered himself to be a good tipper. He tips 20 percent about 10 percent of the time. He told me that he’d headed for Alden, Minnesota, but ended up in Lake Mills, Iowa, instead. He added, "Those roads don’t know what they are doing."

He hoped his driving faux pas had nothing to do with his age. He knew he was getting long in the tooth when he first became older than a president. Aging is like eating a Dagwood sandwich. When you start out, there appears to be more sandwich than you could eat, but before long you can see the end.

Schooling

The Trix Rabbit had hypnotized me once again into going to school where we crawled under our desks in case of atom bomb attacks and pop quizzes. We were starved for knowledge, but hungry for tater tot hotdish. I wished we’d eaten it with red Kool-Aid, the champagne of nectar. The school bully had no front teeth. He was a bully, but he wasn't good at it. The thing he was best at in school was being there. I sang like a worn brake drum in choir. Rubber horseshoes were supposed to make the game of horseshoes less dangerous, but I figured horses wore them in rainy weather.

Smaller town

It was a small town far from home that was conveniently located in the middle of nowhere. I checked into the motel. The clerk gave me a brochure showing the events going on in town. There wasn't a lot going on. That was proven by the photo of me checking into the motel that was in the brochure.

I stopped at the drinking fountain in the park to have a drink on the city. It was sad that the once bustling town now had "closed" as its most common business. Built on a one-way street, the city is so small, that if you drove past it, you’d have to go around the world to get back to it.

Customer comments

Xan Johnson of New Richland told me that the late Johnny Greenwood of New Richland didn’t care how much money he had as long as he could pull another dollar bill from his wallet.

Dr. Albert Flor, a retired dentist from New Richland, whose age has ventured well into the 90s, was asked if he still worked on teeth. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a pliers while saying, "I still do some on the side."

Jim Clark of Stevens Point said that his late friend Don Breilein of New Richland would ask this question, "Where is your sandbox? This cat has to scratch."

Duane Swenson of rural Waseca said that his phone rang and the caller said, "This survey will take only a few minutes." Duane replied, "It will take even less time than that," and hung up.

Ric McArthur of Morpeth, Ontario sent this, "In my day, we had to remember phone numbers, give people directions and don't get me started on the dinosaurs."

Craig Jensen of Geneva asked his high school football coach, Jim Clark, if Clark’s grandmother had been an All-American football player. He asked because the coach was fond of telling his players, "Even my grandmother could block and tackle better than you guys."

Nature notes

Tom Belshan of Glenville asked why turkey vulture numbers have increased. There are several reasons. The banning of DDT and expanded deer and small mammal populations that led to a corresponding increase in the number of wildlife carcasses.

Meeting adjourned

"Three things in human life are important: the first is to be kind; the second is to be kind; and the third is to be kind." —Henry James

Labor Day morning, Sept. 1, Genie and I left from Albert Lea for our annual one-week stay at Arrowhead Lodge in the Big Horn Mountains above Sheridan, Wyoming. This tradition began in 1973.

We hopped on I-90 at Albert Lea, set the HHR Chevrolet cruise at 75, and headed west.

Our first major stop was Mitchell, S.D., to look at the new corn theme on the outside of the Corn Palace. This year’s theme is, “Remember When?” with various items done in corn. (For example, an old phone, a horse and wagon, and an outhouse were some of the old items.)

Four hundred and 75 miles later we pulled into Wall, S.D., to eat the evening meal at Wall Drug and say hi to my old buddy T. Rex in the Wall Drug back yard. (This stop is a must-do.) T. Rex eats every 12 minutes, completely devouring every 12th person he sees. (We could see the red hair in between his teeth from his latest entrée!)

Our great place to stay the night in Wall is the Super 8 Motel. All the employees are very friendly except the General Manager Lane O’Rourke. (I even have a business card signed “Unfriendly” by her!)

She is the CEO of their ranch. (I hope she lets her hubby and kids read this column.)

Tuesday morning we are on our way with the cruise set at 80. Crossing into Wyoming, the cruise is set at 85. (Minnesota speed limit is 70 compared to 75 in South Dakota and 80 in Wyoming.)

We arrived at our destination, Arrowhead Lodge, 7700 feet elevation, in the Big Horn Mountains Tuesday evening — 815 miles from Albert Lea. With a welcome and a handshake, Richard checked us into our favorite rustic cabin #3. (Per Richard, this was the 10th year in a row he checked us in.) Yuki, Clay, Mike and Dale, all employees from previous years, found us later with hugs and handshakes.

As usual, two Wyoming mountain brothers (Dan and Fred) were there to greet us with their tales of hunting and fishing. Nate (grandson of Dan) was there so most of their stories were believable.

Jim Palmer, graduate of Albert Lea High School, was there along with two deer hunting buddies all from the Mankato, MN area.

Rustic Cabin #15 had the same banner as last year across the front (“Mule Deer Capital of Arkansas”). There were 16 male Arkansas mule deer bowhunters in five cabins. Thirteen of the 16 got a muley. The other three all had good excuses like “a moving tree got in the way,” “the arrow was bent” or “the altitude gravitation force pulled my arrow downward.”

The hunters have formed an exclusive club called “MAMO” (abbreviation for “Muley Arkansas Men Only”). This elite club even has a mascot. The main duty of the mascot is to keep an ample supply of firewood on hand for the campfire ring. The name of the mascot is Sally (a well-behaved retrieving Black Lab).

Their age ranged from 12 to the right side of 70. Jeffery Beshears, age 12, of Damascus, Ark. was the youngest, and also first-time, deer hunter. (Reader, if you’re a deer hunter, remember your first deer hunt and al the excitement.)

A interesting statistic put out by the U.S. Chamber of Commerce was that Arkansas led the U.S. in the percentage increase on credit cards for the Labor Day week. In further analysis it was found that this increase was by “Lady CEOs” who had family members in the MAMO club!

On Sunday morning we attended the Ladies’ Retreat Service at Camp Bethel by Arrrowhead Lodge as guests. Awesome setting, awesome experience. Sunday after dark, Clay and Juki invited us to their fire ring. A full moon, owls hooting, and an occasional bugle from an elk while we were at about 8,000 feet elevation. That was the kind of Sunday that would make an atheist wonder.

When we left Arrowhead Lodge on Tuesday morning, we drove through clouds down the mountain. A snowstorm was predicted for Tuesday evening with up to a foot of snow at Arrowhead lodge. Yes, the prediction came true!

———

Bob is a retired AAL (Aid Association for Lutherans) agent, currently working on his master’s degree in Volunteering. His wife, Genie, is a retired RN, currently working on her doctor’s degree in Volunteering. They have two children, Deb in North Carolina, and Dan in Vermont. Bob says if you enjoy his column, let him know. If you don’t enjoy it, keep on reading, it can get worse. Words of wisdom: There is always room for God.

This is my 19th year in education. This will also be my 19th year of teaching Tom Sawyer. One part of this classic that always gets the students’ attention is when Tom arrives late at school…again. After admitting that he had been lollygagging with Huck Finn, the teacher proceeds to give him a beating with a switch, not the last time that happens to Tom in the book.

A number of years ago, my in-laws gave me a list of rules from a schoolhouse in the 1840s, about the same time frame as the novel’s setting. The rules include how many lashes one would get for each offense. Out of curiosity, I read off the list, and the kids figure out how many lashes they might have gotten in a typical day; some end up over 100!

These same kids admit that knowledge of such a punishment would probably keep them from doing many of those actions, at least most of the time. In fact, I had a student many years ago who shared that, as a junior in the Texas school system, he was spanked for being tardy too many times. There was a dean of students who had a paddle, and this man was in charge of all punishment. The student said it wasn’t so much the pain as the humiliation that kept him from ever being tardy again.

Many of my readers were probably spanked as children; I was on the occasion that I did something really bad. I know that kept the thought of repeating that action out of my head for a good long time. I don’t bear any emotional scars; I think my parents did a fine job of raising us kids. They were stern, but caring. I knew if I got a spanking or my mouth washed out with soap that I had done something very out of hand.

Even my teachers used some of that. Our first grade teacher used a fly swatter as a mini-paddle on naughty kids; my fourth grade teacher had a bar of Ivory soap in her desk when needed.

But times have changed, especially as shown by the actions of Adrian Peterson of the Minnesota Vikings and the reaction to his punishment of his son. If you’ve paid even a scant amount of attention, you know that Peterson has admitted to using a switch on his four-year-old son, leaving contusions and bleeding on the child. He faces charges in Texas and, as of this writing, looks to be done as a Viking.

I’m sad about this, not just as a Vikings fan, but as a father. I’ve argued for years that a quick swat to gain your child’s attention when that child needs disciplining, using an open palm, is okay. I’ve even sometimes wished for the return of corporal punishment in schools, similar to what my former star went through in Texas. Kids today look at you with a “What are you going to do about it?” attitude at times because they know they have nothing to fear.

But it’s a slippery slope in today’s society. What is acceptable and what is going too far? In schools that employ this type of punishment, there is usually an administrator in charge of it so emotion does not play a role. Spanking a child while upset is what often leads to the extremes which Peterson allegedly used on his son.

Peterson has said, and I’ve seen many others say, that’s how he was raised. “It worked for me,” seems to be a refrain, and I can concur from my vantage point. However, how many people were spanked by parents who may have taken it too far? How many people today still have emotional issues because of it?

I don’t know the answers to those questions. I know the topic is in the forefront again because of an NFL star being involved. I also know our discussion when we read Tom Sawyer might be very interesting this year!

I want to wish a very happy birthday to my daughter, Jayna! I meant to write a column about becoming the parent of a teenager this week, but the AP news seemed worthy as a topic, so I’ll save that bit for next week…if I’ve survived my first week in that regard!

Word of the Week: This week’s word is loblolly, which means a mire or mudhole, as in, “The Vikings found themselves in a metaphorical loblolly, trying to deal with the Adrian Peterson fiasco.” Impress your friends and confuse your enemies!

The wily scurs and their Weather Eye were hitting on all cylinders once again. Will the warm temps continue to head our way or is the other shoe about to drop? Starting Wednesday, mostly cloudy with a modest chance for showers. Highs in the low 70’s and lows in the mid-50’s. Mostly sunny on Thursday and warmer with highs in the mid-70’s and lows in the upper 50’s. Friday and Saturday, mostly sunny and warmer with highs in the upper 70’s and lows in the mid to upper 50’s. Sunny and slightly cooler Sunday and Monday with highs in the mid-70’s and lows in the mid-50’s. Tuesday sunny and a little cooler with highs in the mid-70’s and lows in the low 50’s. On September 25th we will experience our first day of less than 12 hours of daylight since March 16th. To add insult to injury the sun will also set before 7 p.m. on September 29th. Our normal high for the last day of September is 67 and the normal low is 43. The scurs are trimming the wicks on their kerosene lanterns so they can read fan mail into the wee hours of the morning.

After rains fell on the 15th it looked like it might be smooth sailing for the rest of the week as forecasters pulled their horns in until the last minute and voila! We got rain on Friday and Saturday night. Fortunately most of greater Bugtussle escaped with minor damage while crops to the north suffered severe injury from hail. In Waseca the hail actually made the Twin Cities news which is odd as usually anything south of Mankato is considered a foreign country. More corn in the area continued to reach black layer and soybeans were largely R7 where at least one pod on the main stem has reached its mature color. Sweet corn yields have been running very well with many reports of 8–9 ton. This usually bodes well for field corn yields. 

At the ranch we saw .29” of rain both Friday and Saturday night bringing our September total to 1.76”. Last year we had 1.69” for the entire month. Our soil profile remains relatively full with some water seen standing on the edges of neighboring fields. The lawns have really taken off and given some warm weather, they will make up for lost time. As it is we’re back to mowing once a week with no letup in sight. After the frost scare the tomatoes continue to overrun everything and picking them takes until dark after the chores are done. I’ve given up on the green beans finally. After seeing the first planting is still bearing there is just a limit. They were great but enough is too much sometimes. More radishes are ready although the location this fall hasn’t agreed with them. Getting enough sunlight in areas of the garden is becoming a challenge and where to move parts of it becomes a question. 

With the orioles a distant memory, under the cover of darkness, the barn swallows must’ve snuck off last week. It isn’t like there aren’t any flying insects to eat but their numbers are starting to tail off. Hummingbirds appear to be the next go with some still around on the 23rd yet. Last year the last hummingbirds at the ranch were seen on September 30th and in 2012 it was the 21st. One good thing about having all these old columns to reference, one can see when some of these phenological events took place. There are other birds moving through too. There are lots of flycatchers and a juvenile yellow-bellied sapsucker was spotted on the 19th.

Getting into the office since mid-July has become more interesting every day. Some days it’s like George Costanza trying to outwit his employer after he’s been told not to show up for work. You still find a way into the office even if they’ve rerouted the streets since the last time you were in town. Probably the biggest issue has been the lack of communication to let us know where they’ll be working next so we can plan ahead to take an alternate route. Oh well, that’s the name of the game anymore. We have all these wonderful ways and means for communicating and by golly, we’re simply horrible at using any of them unless of course it suits our purpose.

There are plenty of mosquitoes around yet so am not going to take any chances on either of our pride and joy contracting heartworm. Last Friday afternoon was heartworm shot update day so off Fudgie, Ruby and I hopped in the soccer mom van for a trip to the vet’s office. Oddly enough there was no one ahead of us so we were able to get right in. Dr. Dennis was on duty and while he towers over them, it’s easy to see our Border Collies love and respect him. Ruby was first and after a few minutes Dr. Dennis came in, cooing to her on the end of her leash. She looked up at him submissively with just the tip of her tail wagging. Within a few seconds, he calmly leaned down and slipped her the injection. She winced briefly but the tail kept wagging resulting in more praise. Fudgie was next after returning Ruby to the van. Fudgie can be cantankerous around strangers but she walked right over to him as he spoke softly to her. Without me holding her she too allowed him to give her the update sans growling or snapping. She even got a treat for her behavior. One doesn’t have to say the word “treat” twice to let them know they’re being rewarded for being good. I think I know how Mom felt sometimes when she took us to the dentist then afterwards to Berg’s Drug in Stewartville for a soda. She knew it wouldn’t last so she had to savor the moment.

See you next week…real good then.

Evangeline Stenzel, age 83, of St. Peter, formerly of Hartland, MN, died Monday, September 22, 2014 at Benedictine Living Community in St. Peter, MN. A Mass of Christian Burial will be held Friday, September 26, 2014 at 11 a.m. at St. Casimir Catholic Church in Wells. Visitation will be Thursday, September 25, from 4 to 8 p.m. at St. Casimir Catholic Church in Wells, with a prayer service at 8 p.m. Visitation will continue one hour prior to the service on Friday. Father Thomas Niehaus will officiate and interment will be in St. Casimir Cemetery. Please see www.brussheitner.com to leave online condolences. Bruss-Heitner Funeral Home of Wells is in charge of arrangements.

Paul Alan Aronson, beloved brother and uncle, passed away at his home in Ellendale on September 17, 2014 at the age of 62. Funeral services for Paul will be at 11 a.m. Tuesday, September 23, 2014 at First Lutheran Church in Ellendale. Visitation will be one hour prior to the service. Reverend Richard Sliper will be officiating. Interment will be in First Lutheran Cemetery.

During the 2014 Minnesota State fair, 4-H members from all 87 counties in the state provided 2,844 4-H building exhibits and 2,885 livestock exhibits.

Waseca County 4-H members fared well during their non-livestock exhibit judging, which was held August 28-30. Results from the Non-Livestock Encampment are as follows:

• Emily Barbknecht – Fashion Review - Participation

• Grady Bice – Geology – Red ribbon

• Annie Christian – Plant & Soil Sciences – Blue ribbon

Final two Ellendale musicians to play indoors

The city of Ellendale has had a great number of entertainment programs on Saturday night this summer to enjoy, thanks to the organization of Russell Goette. It has good to see so many people turn out for the events each week to enjoy the great music, as well as visit with their friends and neighbors. Summer is quickly coming to an end, the daylight is getting shorter and the evenings are getting cooler, so the last two performances will be moved from the outdoor stage on 5th Avenue and 2nd Street to the Ellendale Community Building. Darlene Smith, who is from Owatonna, will take center stage on September 20 starting at 6:30; and Ross Sletten, whose performance had earlier been rained out back on the 31st of May, will share his musical talents on September 27. Once again Becky Lassahn will be offering root beer. The floats are available for a free-will donation as a fundraiser for the Assembly of God Refuge.