Whatever Flips Your Waffle (192)
Picture this: you’re at a party with a number of adults. In the next room, all the children of those adults are gathered. Playing starts out nicely among the kids, and the adults feel comfortable not keeping a constant watch.
Before long, there is the sound of some scuffling, and a high-pitched cry ensues. Quick, look around!
You’ll see some parents’ heads jerk up and they immediately head toward the scream. Others might turn their heads a bit, but will quickly resume their conversations.
The ones who run to the next room? Rookies. These are the first-time parents. We veterans know how to tell A. the cry of our child and B. whether it’s a cry that needs immediate attention or not.
Back in September, I wrote about the scariness of being a first-time parent with Jayna. As Anton’s birthday approaches, I can look at how things change when bundle of joy number two arrives.
The attitude quickly set in that we knew what we were doing, even before Anton was born. We had everything planned out, including knowing what needed to be packed for the hospital and what to have ready at home for the new arrival.
And then, life throws you a curveball. Michelle had gone in for a regular check-up a week before her due date. I was coaching our final junior high basketball game of the season.
Just as I finished my halftime speech, my phone rang. It was my mother-in-law, telling me I needed to come to Owatonna since they figured Michelle would be having the baby.
I left (the team immediately went on a huge scoring run and finished the season with a good win!), but hadn’t sensed any urgency from Mary, so I went home, grabbed the suitcase, and headed to Owatonna…where I found out they needed to do an emergency C-section!
Everything went fine, but we already knew that just when we thought we had this parenting thing figured out, we would have to learn all over again. As many of you know, raising boys is a whole different ballgame from raising girls, and I’m not just talking about the ability to duck while changing diapers!
Sure, we quickly became those veteran parents from the above example. We didn’t rush directly to the doctor at the first sign of a fever, and we didn’t worry as much about bumps and scrapes.
Just like his sister, Anton once rolled off the bed, and he has certainly had his moments where the temper he inherited genetically has shown up. But he's a gentle soul and has made us proud to have named him after my two grandpas (Anton and William).
Do we know more the second time around as parents? Sure, but there are always new challenges. Having taught plenty of siblings over the years, it’s pretty hard to find two that were completely alike; every child is unique.
My kids like some of the same things, but they continue to develop their own personalities on a daily basis, which means that Michelle and I are never done learning as parents!
Word of the Week: This week’s word is aftermorrow, which means the day after tomorrow, as in, “The basketball player knew he didn’t have a game until aftermorrow, so there would be more time to rest his sore ankle.” Impress your friends and confuse your enemies!
As I prepared to preside over this year’s school spelling bee, I looked over the word list to make sure I would pronounce words correctly and to eliminate some words in advance that I felt didn’t have a place in the bee. I took out the first 24 words since they were simply too easy and would make the bee drag on. I decided against a few others because of difficulty to pronounce correctly or just words I had not heard before (whiskery?).
I realized there is no such thing as too easy a word anymore. Despite the fact that all our spellers made it through at least two rounds before missing a word says more about their functionality as good spellers than it does about the ease of the words. I would guess there were a number of middle school students who would have missed words like “could.”
What has happened to spelling? We used to take great pride in spelling words correctly. I still remember how upset I was in third grade when I missed my only word the entire year. I was devastated!
The first downfall was the advent of spell-check on computers. I’m not nearly as good at spelling as I used to be since I don’t really have to think too hard about words. Prime example: As I typed the last sentence of the previous paragraph, my computer automatically changed the spelling of devastated since I had put an “e” after the “v.” Words like that are auto-corrected without even a thought.
A big problem with this is that students will run spell-check, but still misspell words. How is this possible? A prime example is students’ use of the word definitely.
Teenagers love this word. However, many of them spell it as defiantly. I couldn’t figure out such an egregious error for a long time. Finally, I was watching as one student was trying to spell definitely and saw the auto-correct change the misspelled word to defiantly.
Spell-check will also not tell you if it should be to/too/two or there/their/they’re or your/you’re. Gone are the days where we would ponder a homophone to remember if we should use its or it’s. If there is not a red or green line under a word, most people don’t worry about it anymore.
Another issue, of course, is texting. I don’t text much because I still insist on capitalizing words, spelling them correctly, and using apostrophes. Thus, it takes me a long time to peck out a text.
Most of my students could read my column headline better than we adults. This is their version of English. Why use more space or time than is necessary to get your message across? That seems to be the mantra of Generation Text (my new term for this generation). We old fuddy-duddies can stick with our full words and lack of abbreviations, but kids look on us as dinosaurs.
And they might be correct. Much as it pains me, I see the changes happening. I don’t think I’ll ever accept u instead of you in a paper, but we’re inching somewhat faster than glacier speed toward a language revolution. OMG.
Word of the Week: This week’s word is discombobulated, which means upset or frustrated, as in, “The English teacher was so discombobulated by the bad spelling that he dropped his red pen.” Impress your friends and confuse your enemies!
Nothing really surprises me as a teacher anymore. I’ve heard and seen it all when it comes to those eye-opening experiences that make you wonder what some people are thinking. A few things have jumped out at me this year and given me cause to rattle the cage and jump on my soapbox for a bit.
I tell my students that excuses are like bellybuttons: everyone has one, and they don’t do you much good anymore. Yet, I hear some outlandish excuses from parents and then I don’t have to wonder anymore where the kids get their talents.
I’ve heard everything from, “My child is very good and wouldn’t cause trouble intentionally,” to, “I couldn’t possibly take TV away as a consequence,” to, “It’s your job as a teacher to make sure my kid does his homework when he gets home.”
What? Really?
These got me thinking about responsibilities of parents. Let me be really blunt.
I wasn’t there when your child was conceived; that was a choice you made. You don’t get to run away from the responsibilities that go along with that action just because you might not have been thinking about a child being the possible outcome of the scenario.
Here are the rules of parenting:
1. You are responsible for raising your child with good morals and values. They will become what you make of them.
If you swear and get drunk and cheat in front of them, they will do the same things as they grow up. If you complain about how much you hated school back in the day, your child will develop that attitude as well.
In today’s economic climate, your child needs a good education and a good work ethic to have some success, and even that’s not a guarantee. However, it is a good start.
2. You are not your child’s friend. Stop trying to make your child and all of his or her friends think you’re the coolest parent around.
There were times growing up that I disliked my parents. Why? Because they didn’t let me do whatever I wanted and made me responsible for my actions.
Looking back, I’m very thankful they did. Sometimes I feel like I don’t do as good a job with my own children, but I know there are times Jayna and Anton aren’t pleased with me. That’s okay.
3. You must sacrifice your own desires for your child. There are plenty of evenings where I would rather do anything other than sit at piano lessons or a 4-H meeting or make an extra trip to church to pick the kids up after Sunday school. However, these are important to them. Just as important is helping your child with at least completing their homework.
Looking at math pages every day just about makes my eyes pop out, but Anton needs me to check over them. When I coached junior high sports, there were parents I never saw at a game. Be there for your child, even if you would rather be somewhere else.
Being a parent is the biggest responsibility there is, and it doesn’t end once the child is potty trained and can walk on their own. It never really ends, even after the child leaves the house. I may not be perfect as a parent (none of us are, really), but by following these rules, the world can become a better place instead of one where making excuses is the default.
Word of the Week: This week’s word is malingerer, which means one who fakes illness to avoid work, as in, “The child was a noted malingerer since his parents continued to call in to school saying he was sick, when everyone knew he was home watching Spongebob.” Impress your friends and confuse your enemies!
Baseball is the most sacred of sports to me. Growing up in New Ulm, everyone played baseball, and we were taught from early on to treat the game with respect and a level of reverence unseen in any other sport.
There is so much perfection in the set-up of the game. The way the diamond is situated, the preciseness of a pitching rubber set at 60 feet and six inches, three strikes to get out but four balls to walk: all these create such an awesome game that I’m always much more eager for the start of baseball season than any other sport.
Another great thing about baseball is the diversity of each field. There are no two alike. The height of the outfield walls varies, even within a stadium. The amount of foul territory is different. A good grounds crew will manicure an infield to fit the abilities of the home team. All these things serve to give a true home field advantage, more so than any other sport. Just think of how many baseballs opponents lost in the roof of the Metrodome compared to our Twins!
One of the best things, though, about baseball is its Hall of Fame. Visiting Cooperstown is on my bucket list, and I have a feeling I could spend days wandering around. I’ve read a number of historical baseball books over the years, and part of my love of the sport is my appreciation of its past. For football and basketball, I couldn’t name more than a few players before the 1960s. In baseball, I can go back to the 1800s to talk about things I know. The rich history of this sport is part of its appeal.
And that leads me to the election process for the Hall of Fame. There was much wailing and gnashing of teeth this past week when nobody was elected this year. I read some articles and listened to some baseball people on the radio because I was initially shocked by all this. However, it’s probably a good thing nobody got in this year.
The Hall of Fame is supposed to be special. Sometimes I think it’s already overloaded. Did Jack Morris deserve to get in? Well, was he one of the greatest to ever play the game? He was a great pitcher, and no Minnesota Twins fan will ever forget Game 7 in 1991. But…was he one of the greatest to ever play the game?
I don’t necessarily go on just numbers when I look at baseball players. If so, we’d never elect another pitcher again after Tom Glavine and Greg Maddux get in, because it’s highly unlikely that any will reach 300 wins again. I heard all kinds of numbers supporting Morris’ election, but nothing that showed me he was one of the greatest to ever play the game.
When Bert Blyleven had to wait and wait to get in, I don’t think that was right either. What makes a player not worthy one year and then worthy the next? Will something about his career have changed? Blyleven was one of the greatest to ever play the game, and his long wait was a disgrace.
On the other hand, with all the suspicion of performance-enhancing drugs in this year’s and future crops of potential inductees, maybe it’s better to wait and see if anything ever comes out of investigations. I’d never vote Barry Bonds into the Hall of Fame, but I would consider Roger Clemens, based on current evidence.
Maybe it’s a good thing they don’t let me vote. I’d probably hem and haw, just like some of these current voters. In the end, the process usually seems to work. It’s just like who gets left out of the NCAA basketball tournament or who doesn’t make a BCS bowl game: there will always be people who disagree. That doesn’t tarnish the greatest game and the best Hall of Fame in sports.
Word of the Week: This week’s word is borborygmus, which is the rumbling noise your stomach makes, often when you’re hungry, as in, “The borborygmus that his stomach uttered was loud enough to disrupt the noon meeting.” Thanks to Tali Wayne for giving me another awesome word! Impress your friends and confuse your enemies!
Last week, I wrote about meeting my wife. There are many reasons I love Michelle, and one of them is her family.
No, I do not have the stereotypical in-laws, where I cringe every time we have to get together with her family. I feel as much a part of the Granowski/Spinler families as I do the Domeier family, and that’s another element that makes our marriage so endearing.
I was welcomed into family functions from the time we started dating. Now, I’m a people person, but I was very intimidated by Michelle’s family. I wasn’t sure what I could talk about or what I should avoid.
I’ve found that another stereotype – don’t ever talk about religion or politics – just doesn’t ring true with her family; we talk about those topics often! Even if we don’t all agree on things, they can be lively discussions, and there are no hurt feelings when we’re through. We sometimes just agree to disagree.
Michelle’s Grandma Spinler just died. This has been tough on her, even though we knew it was coming.
Grandma Mary had been in and out of the hospital a lot recently. We got a chance to go visit her the day before she died in the hospital. While there, I saw amazing family experiences that are truly memorable.
As I’ve mentioned before in this column, I’ve never been very good at expressing emotions.
My family has always been a little closer to the vest when it comes to that. It takes quite a bit to make me cry, unless it’s watching the end of Hoosiers.
This, to me, is the hardest part of any relationship: death. It’s inevitable; you’re going to have to go through a number of these events, and it’s how you respond that adds another layer to a committed relationship.
I love Michelle completely, and it’s so hard to see her in pain. There’s no easy solution to this pain like there is when you break a bone or sprain an ankle.
I do the best I can to comfort her and the kids; it’s all we can do as family. Everyone deals with loss in different ways, and patience and a helpful shoulder or open ear is what we need in these situations.
I know this has been difficult on our kids. Jayna and Anton are very emotionally connected to their friends and family.
While they were frightened when my dad had his heart attack, this was the first time that someone close to them was going to die, and we made that clear to them. However, the rest of the family talked with them while we visited Mary in the hospital and continued that path of making everyone such an important part of this family.
As we sat there, conversations varied all across the board. I was sitting with a group of grieving people, but they needed distraction; one can’t just sit around and mope, though one’s mind tends to always be whirling, mentally preparing for the inevitable.
A friend of the family came and led everyone in Christmas carols, giving Mary a send-off that she would appreciate, especially the songs that were sung in Czech.
And that’s what put me in tears. Not gazing at a woman ready to meet her maker and join her husband and other deceased relatives. Not watching my wife and children battle their emotions.
No, it was seeing a family come together during the most difficult time of their lives and rejoice for the life their mother lived and send her on the way to the Lord with celebration. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need a Kleenex again.
Word of the Week: This week’s word is venerate, which means to regard with reverential respect or to adore, as in, “The family was able to venerate their mother and grandmother, a woman who lived life to the fullest and set a good example for all.” Impress your friends and confuse your enemies!
Match.com, eHarmony, Zoosk, Chemistry.com, and PerfectMatch.com are ranked as the top five dating sites on the Internet. Many of us look askance at sites like these; what kind of desperate person goes to these sites to find a date? How often do those situations work out anyway?
In a sense, these are a form of a blind date, right? And we all know how those turn out.
Most people would look at a blind date as either you are being set up with someone undesirable to others or that you agreeing to this smacks of desperation on your part. Many times, both parties go into a blind date this way, and it puts a damper on a potential relationship. Both people just want to get it over with and move on to more reliable ways of finding a mate, like bar hopping. Oh, wait.
Think about your dating history. When I was in high school, my dating pool was basically the girls in my school.
We didn’t have social networking back then, and interaction with kids in other schools was very limited. Since all these girls knew me from my horrid middle school years, I really had zero chance at anything meaningful.
In college, the horizons expanded dramatically. Here was a fresh batch of women (not girls…WOMEN!) who knew nothing about that terrible moment in 8th grade or that horrible outfit my mom made me wear in 10th grade for pictures or the legendary zit from 11th grade. There were so many WOMEN in college that the odds were favorable to find someone who might like you.
But how would you meet these WOMEN? Sometimes you would know somebody who would know somebody else who could set you up on a… blind date.
Or you would head out for a night on the town to meet WOMEN, which essentially was like speed dating. If you met a WOMAN who deigned to speak to you, you didn’t have much time to impress her before she moved on.
Once you get a job out of college, you are now in a new position: possibly a new town where you know nobody. How will you meet people?
You certainly can’t date someone from work. Will you get set up with someone’s sister? The tragic possibilities are endless.
So many of these situations are just different forms of a blind date. Why are we so petrified of them? I speak from experience since that’s how I met Michelle.
My cousin Marlys went to college with my mother-in-law Mary. She wrote Mary in her Christmas letter way back in 1996 (my first year at NRHEG) that she had a young cousin who had just gotten a teaching job nearby, and if one of Mary’s daughters (apparently, it didn’t matter which one) was available, here was my phone number and address in New Richland.
We were able to get together on December 30, 1996, for our first date, and the rest is history. I freely admit I was intimidated when I first saw Michelle. She had this black leather jacket and flowing blonde hair, and I figured that here was a woman who was way too good looking for a guy whose face is made for radio.
We went to George’s for supper and then watched a movie. Something really clicked, and I knew that here was a WOMAN that could be my lobster (sorry, Friends reference).
I know it’s cliché, but I really knew on that first date that Michelle and I were a perfect match. After all, she had really good grammar when she spoke; who wouldn’t fall in love with that?
They say that love is blind, so a blind date would seem an appropriate mechanism for finding love. Seventeen years later, I would have to agree!
Word of the Week: This week’s word is ugsome, which means dreadful or loathsome, as in, “He thought for sure his blind date would be ugsome until he saw the ravishing beauty step through the door.” Impress your friends and confuse your enemies!
As I sit at my computer, it’s 9:30 on a Thursday. I’m not at work, but staying home because of the blizzard warning that is in effect and has kept my entire family at home.
My kids are excited about a day off school, and I see that Facebook posts are rampant with commentary on not having school, on why it took so long to make this decision, and whether we should have tried going today.
While most kids rejoice at snow days, I always sit back and shake my head. I wholeheartedly support having today off; safety is paramount, and I wouldn’t want my kids on a bus with all the blowing snow out there. However, a day off now means we will tack one on at the end of the school calendar.
Before today, the last day of school was scheduled for May 30. You’d better change that now to May 31 and hope we don’t have any more full days off because of weather, or you can flip the page to June and come to school then too. This is the most ludicrous way of making up snow days, but there are potential solutions to this problem.
First, here is why just tacking days on the end is bad for business. Whether you are a parent or a child, everyone knows how squirrely kids get as the school year draws to a close.
This is especially true after Memorial Day. That week tends to be a flurry of softball tournaments, track and field days, and general wrap-up activities.
Now start adding days onto that and imagine how much educating gets done. I don’t care how good you are at teaching, June is not a month to accomplish something. (I’m actually in favor of year-round school, but that’s a column for another day.)
How can we solve this dilemma? Here are three solutions, any of which could be easily implemented.
The first is that any time we have a snow day, we take the next day that is scheduled off and make it a school day. Taking into account contractual issues and the necessity of workshop days, that day would be President’s Day.
Since we had no school December 20, let’s make February 18 a school day. The advantage to this is mainly that it is more educationally sound; we can accomplish a lot more on a day in February than the end of May or in June. With all the hoopla about testing, we might as well have one more day to prepare before MCAs roll around in April.
Sure, people make appointments and other plans, but this is a two-month warning. Switch things around. If you planned a family trip, then I guess you’ll miss a day of school; people tend to go on tour whenever they want to anyway, even if it conflicts with school time.
Another option is to start the year with the calendar having three extra days tacked on anyway. This is a matter of perception.
If everyone starts the year thinking we won’t finish until June 4, then plans are made accordingly, and the mindset is to prepare to teach around that schedule. Once the April board meeting rolls around, the school board can look at how many snow days we’ve had.
If it’s less than three, they can change the calendar and let everyone off a day or two early. Talk about good public relations - Hey, we’re letting you out early this year!
The final solution is my personal favorite; many other districts do this. The first snow day is off for everyone – don’t worry about it!
If there are one or two more days off, the teachers will make up that time, whether it’s by reporting that day or through extra time before and after a regular day. We could get a lot accomplished with our peers, be it planning or working together to get our curriculums aligned. After three snow days, we might have to look at adding student days.
If these options work elsewhere, they should be able to work at NRHEG. I’ve voiced these opinions before, but now’s your chance.
Tell school board members if you like one of these ideas; I know you don’t like the thought of tacking days on the end of the year. Otherwise I guess I’ll see you in June.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all my wonderful readers; I hope you all have a great holiday season and stay safe!
Word of the Week: This week’s word is xerophyte, which means a plant adapted to growing in a dry or desert environment, as in, “She was bemused by the gift of a xerophyte in Minnesota, where it clearly had no chance to survive.” Impress your friends and confuse your enemies!
This week, I’m writing my column in near silence, the only sound the pecking at the keyboard. This, unfortunately, represents the silence that will be part of too many lives in Connecticut after the terrible tragedy of yet another school shooting.
Many thoughts jumped around in my head when I first heard about this, and in today’s 24-hour news cycle, it didn’t take long for speculation to take hold and for Facebook to blow up about the story. As I scrolled around my news feed, I saw a lot of varying reactions. A former star of mine, Zach Hacker, had a very thoughtful post dealing with the two main issues that will rise from this tragedy: gun control and mental illness.
Let me talk about gun control first. I wouldn’t know how to shoot a gun if you put one in my hands, and I know that puts me in a minority around here.
However, I’m not opposed to guns. I realize the pleasure hunting brings many people, and I don’t mind a little venison now and then.
Would stronger gun laws help limit situations like the Connecticut shooting? It’s possible, and I don’t think I’d oppose some laws limiting the sale of some of these semi-automatic guns. Whether it’s for hunting or protection, I’m not sure we need the types of weaponry that appear in movies.
Of course, people who want these types of guns will find a way to get their hands on them. If you tell people they can’t have something, they will work their hardest to get that (See: Prohibition). So our government needs to tread carefully before making a quick gut reaction to this action and take everything into account before making decisions.
Mental illness, as Zach stated in his wonderful post, is the bigger issue. There are many people who suffer from this and are never treated.
I won’t speculate on what was going on in the mind of the shooter, but all news reports seem to indicate there was something that was off about his mind. I had a hard time understanding this issue until I realized there were people I knew and cared about who deal with mental illness. Most likely, everyone who is reading this knows people who suffer from mental illness, and too often, the stigma attached keeps people from seeking some help to deal with depression, anxiety, etc.
Please be understanding and help people who need help. As Al Batt often writes, kindness can solve many problems.
I’ve seen many posts that are vitriolic in nature in regards to the shooter. I understand that, but think it’s wasteful hate.
I too am sickened at the thought of all those children dead; I’ve teared up a number of times today, thinking about it and thinking about how much I love my own children.
I also start thinking about how much I care for my students. I can’t even imagine being able to react and respond in that situation; I pray it never happens here.
Ever since Columbine in 1999, teachers everywhere have been more vigilant, but it’s never enough as long as these things keep happening. As I look at the school board’s proposal to install a safety entrance in New Richland, this is all the more reason to go forward with that. It’s not a cure-all, but it’s a tremendous step in the right direction.
As parents and teachers, we often have to be serious and don’t always get to make decisions that our children like. But I hope everything we do is with a sense of caring.
I sometimes tell my students and my players I coach that if I’m in your face about something, it means I haven’t given up on you. That’s a hard lesson to learn sometimes, but hopefully one that is recognized years down the line.
Hug your children every day. Tell your parents you love them. Try to get along with your brothers and sisters. There are too many people in Connecticut who won’t get to do that anymore.
Word of the Week: This week’s word is vitriolic, which means caustic and biting, as in, “The Facebook post was so vitriolic and brimming with anger that nobody pushed the like button.” Impress your friends and confuse your enemies!
Yes, it’s true. For three years, I was a full-fledged Gleek.
Every week, Michelle and I would sit down and make time to watch the hit TV show Glee. We watched it from the very beginning through last season.
Why did we watch this show religiously? It certainly was not for the stellar storytelling.
Generally, the storylines were atrocious and unbelievable. Glee was set in a school that you wouldn’t want your children anywhere near. From a clueless principal to the cheerleading coach who actually ran the school, it was set up to be part humor, part tragedy.
So why watch this piece of garbage? Simple: the music. The covers these singers performed were amazing.
I love music. It affects people in so many ways.
When I write, I must have music playing; it helps my mind operate more smoothly. My iTunes has gone from Aerosmith to Firehouse to AC/DC while I am typing this so far.
The music on Glee generally wasn’t original, and nothing beats some of the original versions of songs by Journey, Foreigner, and Queen. Still, some things in life need updating.
I still like listening to the first versions of the songs performed on Glee, but the choral aspect the show gave those songs added something new and fresh to the music.
Studies show that music can help students retain knowledge. If you study while listening to a particular band or song, that music will link the information in your brain. If you can get that song going in your head again during a test, you are much more likely to remember that information.
I don’t have a lot of problems with letting students listen to music while they are working in class. If it helps them focus, all the better, as long as they have their earbuds in and their neighbors can’t hear it. This also keeps students from finding the urge to whisper with their neighbors and provides the silence that others require to exert their best effort.
That’s right – to some people, dead silence is like music. Some students get distracted by music, and others can only listen to a particular style of music in order to operate efficiently.
I’ve known people who can only listen to music without words when trying to complete a particular task. I used to listen to AC/DC while doing math, and Queen is inspirational when I’m writing.
I’ve mentioned NaNoWriMo before. (By the way, I did reach my 50,000 word count goal for November!) When I had 10th-graders who partook in that activity for class, 90% of them would listen to music every day, and the stories they came up with were amazing. Many of them told me that the music helped them get the job done.
Music programs get cut across the country. If this keeps happening, who will create the inspirational music for future generations?
Learning to appreciate different styles of music and perhaps make some music of your own are vital skills that cross many gaps. Look at our local music programs: NRHEG has a great band program and also has singers who perform at an amazing level. I’m not a big fan of musicals, but I’ll be in the audience when they put on Bye Bye Birdie later this year.
Michelle and I may not watch Glee anymore, but I still listen to the music. We just couldn’t stand the horrible stories any longer, but the show continues to produce beautiful versions of songs we know and love.
Word of the Week: This week’s word is obscurantism, which means opposition to the spread of knowledge, as in, “The parents’ obscurantism led to them never allowing their children to watch the news or read a newspaper.” Impress your friends and confuse your enemies!
I don’t mind shopping, really I don’t. I just can only handle it in short bursts.
Grocery shopping or swinging by Walmart for some items is no sweat. However, for one day a year, I bear down and join Michelle on a trip to Mankato to take care of all our Christmas shopping.
That’s how I spent the Saturday following Thanksgiving, on an express shopping extravaganza to take care of all the gifts in one fell swoop.
Our goal is to finish off as much shopping as possible. Michelle is very prepared: she has a list of everyone we need to get a gift for and lists of possible desires of each of those people. This helps as we map out our plan of attack on the trip over. We generally hit Gordman’s and Kohl’s before lunch, and then the mall waits for us after we eat.
It doesn’t take long at the River Hills Mall for hunger to kick in and start to drag me down. Or maybe it’s the hoards of people shuffling through the walkways. And that’s when I see them: the men in the middle of the mall.
These men are all shapes, sizes, and ages. They are sprawled on various benches, couches, and massage chairs in between stores.
Some are surrounded by bags of previous purchases. Some are in as comfortable a position as you can attain on one of those seats, trying to close their eyes and rest.
Some look like the zombies on The Walking Dead, with that glazed-over look in their eyes and a slack jaw that would indicate a state of catatonic confusion.
Let’s face it. Whoever decided to put these seats in the middle of the mall was brilliant. Any man who has been shopping with a woman knows an argument will inevitably occur about whether to buy something or not based on the price.
The female wants it, the male doesn’t. “Do we really need that?” or “That’s too expensive” are common refrains in this situation.
However, by removing the man from the equation, the woman is free to just buy whatever she wants, without that vital input we men provide. And men are lured to these oases like a fly to manure.
The addition of massage chairs was even more brilliant. Now, not only are the women spending more in the stores, but the men are also spending money on the chairs!
I’ve found myself among these other gentlemen from time to time, when the wear and tear of too much shopping in one day has taken its toll. That vacant look is almost contagious; it doesn’t take long to join in the group of mindless men, gazing at absolutely nothing.
When Michelle rejoins me in those situations, I don’t want to ask what she got. If it means a couple more items crossed off the list, that’s what counts. And thus, the mall has won again!
In all reality, I do enjoy this day with Michelle. It’s a good time together with my wife and helps me appreciate all she brings to my life. Even if I am more tired than after a week with teenagers in my classroom!
Word of the Week: This week’s word is alacrity, which means moving quickly and with great speed, as in, “The shoppers moved with alacrity during Black Friday to avoid becoming black and blue from collisions.” Impress your friends and confuse your enemies!
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My classroom has a new book shelf on the wall this year. My alma mater, Cathedral High School in New Ulm, was replacing the bleachers in the gym, and I managed to get one of the old ones.
After all, I spent enough time sitting there when I was on the basketball team. I figured I might as well have one!
My varsity career in basketball and baseball involved much more time on the bench than in the actual games. And you know what? I’m O.K. with that.
I love both sports and enjoyed being part of a team. Would I have liked to play more? Absolutely, but I’m O.K. with my 13 career varsity basketball points.
I’m more than a little bothered when I hear about kids not playing a sport anymore because they won’t get as much playing time.
As our girls’ basketball team begins another hopefully successful season, one would think that girls would want to stay out and be part of a team with a chance to go to state. However, a few have told me they’re not playing because they won’t get as much time.
Do you have any idea what I would have given to sit on the bench at Target Center? For one thing, I’m sure those chairs are much more comfortable than the average high school bench. And not playing much? Based on the number of blowouts last year, playing time is plentiful when you’re up by 30.
Here are theories on why numbers are down in varsity sports, not just here but many other schools. First, kids feel obligated to work more hours. Let’s face it, if you want to put gas in your car, it is a lot more exponentially than it was when we were growing up.
Second, some kids are getting burned out of various sports. Basketball and volleyball are year-round activities now, and I think there comes a point where kids get sick of seeing the same ball for 12 months. If you want to be competitive, you have to play all year, and coaches and players feel that pressure to succeed.
The last reason is this sense of entitlement that seems to pervade our society today. If I practice every day and come to camp in the summer, I should get to play as much as the next person.
However, especially at a varsity level, that’s not how it works. Let’s be honest. If a varsity coach played everyone equally and ended up with a losing record because of it, many people in the community would be in an uproar. People pay money to watch these games and want to see a winner if possible.
Let’s be honest some more. Some people won’t show up to a varsity event if the team is losing. Football, volleyball, basketball, and wrestling are cash sports because the money brought in from tickets at least partially offsets the costs of running those programs.
Nobody seems happy to just be part of the team anymore. Nobody revels in being that player that everyone goes crazy for when they actually get in and, gasp, score a basket!
And that’s too bad, because having those players can help a team just as much as having a couple of all-star players. Those players are motivators from the bench and can bust their tails at practice to push the starters and make them better.
In the end, the splinters are well worth the valuable skills in teamwork and the camaraderie gained from being part of a varsity team.
Word of the Week: This week’s word is upbraid, which means to criticize or scold severely, as in, “The coach had to upbraid the starter when he wasn’t trying as hard as the player who normally sat on the bench.”
Impress your friends and confuse your enemies!
As you read this, you will either be preparing for the greatest holiday of the year or recovering from it. Why do I like Thanksgiving more than any other holiday? I’m glad you asked! (O.K., maybe you didn’t, but you get to read about it anyway.)
Thanksgiving is all about the three F’s. Normally, an F would be an abhorrent letter to a teacher, but not when it comes to this festive occasion. The three F’s are food, football and family.
Turkey is not my favorite meat, but there’s something about it at Thanksgiving that is amazing. The repast that is laid out on my parents’ table is pretty consistent, though I like to try out new recipes and use my family as guinea pigs on if they’re good or not.
But the turkey, real mashed potatoes and gravy, corn, and hot buttery buns make this the one meal I would never want to miss.
And after I’m stuffed, out come the pies! There is always pumpkin, of course, and at least one other variety. One type of pie I miss since my Grandma Domeier died is mincemeat. Many people cringe at that thought (no, it doesn’t actually have meat in it), but I always loved it when Grandma made it that one time a year.
Football! It’s been rare when the Vikings have played on Thanksgiving, but that’s no excuse not to sit back and watch a little pigskin with the men in my family.
It’s usually a good time to take a nap as well, but this year I’ll be watching with keen interest since my great fantasy football mind caused me to draft Tony Romo and whoever is starting at running back for the Dallas Cowboys that week. Yuck, no wonder I’m only .500 this year despite also having Adrian Peterson on my team.
Family is the most important reason this is a great holiday. At the end of the day, after all the eating and the grunting at the football game, it’s always good to see my family.
As we kids have grown up and started families of our own, not everyone is always able to make it to the Domeier residence in New Ulm for this day, but it is special with whoever makes it there, including some of my aunts and uncles on occasion.
When Grandma and Grandpa Domeier were still alive, the entire family would squeeze into their small house. I remember how excited I was when I graduated from the kid table to the big one.
I used to eat a big meal the night before to stretch my stomach and then starve myself all morning to build up a big appetite. I wanted to eat as much of that good food that Grandma put on the table as I could. I know those early Thanksgivings were what put me on the path to loving this holiday.
As I mentioned, not everyone can make it every year, and not everyone is still alive to give thanks with us, but every year I thank God that I have these people in my life and get the chance to be with them. This year, I will also give thanks for all of you who have given me feedback on my column and all of you who read it weekly. I appreciate the support – thanks!
Word of the Week: This week’s word is gemutlichkeit, which means comfortableness and friendliness, as in, “New Ulm offered a sense of gemultlichkeit to all those who visited for the holidays.” Impress your friends and confuse your enemies!
Basketball season has begun! It’s an exciting time for everyone in our communities as we hope to see the same brand of exciting basketball that took the girls’ team to the state tournament last year.
How do players get to be so good? What makes a team a state contender?
The answer begins at the elementary level of any sport. All sports begin a feeder program at a young age to teach kids the basics and encourage a love of that sport.
I’ve had the privilege to be a coach in our elementary basketball program for my daughter’s team, now starting my third year.
I coached junior high basketball for 13 years and had a lot of knowledge about the game from my years playing. However, moving from 8th grade to 3rd grade was a stark awakening.
The variety of skill sets is enormous; some kids have never picked up a basketball before, while others have been dribbling and shooting for some time. The goal of an elementary coach is to teach the basics while encouraging those that already have some of those skills to keep getting better and find ways to expand their abilities.
Some kids make tremendous progress, usually due to developing a love of the sport and wanting to play it as much as they can. Others decide that a particular sport is not for them, another vital function of an elementary program.
Most programs are a little more relaxed at an elementary level, but the expectations ramp up once the players reach junior high. It’s better to find out that a specific sport is not for you before that point in time.
I’ve helped oversee coaches for our youth baseball program for many years, but I didn’t fully appreciate how much these coaches did as volunteers until I started as a volunteer coach myself.
Some people always forget is that these coaches are volunteers; they don’t get paid and they put in plenty of hours. Many don’t have formal training in coaching, but do the best they can so the players can get better.
The best payment for a volunteer coach is to see improvement from beginning to end. I give the coaches of my daughter’s volleyball team a lot of credit this year.
They took a large group of girls who could barely get the ball over the net or do anything close to receiving a serve and really moved them along. By the last game of their tournament, they showed some good signs of actual volleyball being played.
Over the years, I’ve fielded plenty of phone calls from parents complaining about various things in our baseball program, including problems with coaches. Part of my conversation tends to lead back to asking these people why they didn’t volunteer since they have all the answers.
While there are certainly situations where a coach has done something wrong, like mistreating a player, most often the complaints revolve around playing time or chances to play a certain position.
My questions to these complaints? Has the player been at every practice? Has the player worked hard at every practice? Just being part of a team does not give you an automatic right to equal playing time or equal opportunities.
If a player shows up only when it’s convenient and/or spends practice time messing around, they should not get the same chances as those who are always there and working hard.
Not everyone is cut out to be a coach. I’m not perfect by any means.
All I ever ask is to be patient and look at the big picture instead of reacting quickly to an isolated incident. Sometimes the best thing to do is go home, sleep on it, wake up, and realize it wasn’t that big a deal after all.
Word of the Week: This week’s word is pell-mell, which means things are in tangled confusion, as in, “The young basketball players ran pell-mell down the court, and the coach wondered if they even remembered the play.”
“Where do you get your ideas for your column?” This is a question I frequently hear from readers of this weekly diatribe.
The simple answer is they just pop in my head. I’ve got quite a list of topics compiled, and I’ve barely touched it; most weeks something comes up that seems like a good idea for a column.
I’ve loved writing since third grade. My teacher, Mr. Galvin, had us write a new story every month.
It didn’t take me long to discover that this might be a path I would enjoy in life. As soon as I touched pencil to paper, the ideas and words would flow.
I like to think it was partly a result of all the reading that had been done for me as a youngster and that I had done since I could decipher those letters myself.
As you read this, I will be immersed in my fourth year of National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo). My goal every November is to write 50,000 words of a story in that month. That’s about 1800-1900 words every day.
I’ve been able to reach my goal every year, usually well before Thanksgiving. On a good day, I’ll whip off 5000-6000 words.
This began as a creative writing project the first year I taught 10th-grade English. The students were understandably hesitant at first, though I set their goals between 10,000-15,000 words.
The result? Some amazing writing, especially by those who hadn’t shown an aptitude for writing in our previous experiences together.
I continued this project for the three years I taught 10th grade, but I don’t have that class this year. I’m going to miss sitting in the computer lab with my students, hammering away on our stories, listening to music, and munching on Nancy Jane’s bakery goodies.
I’ll even miss staring at my computer screen for hours as I read every word that every student wrote for me! Luckily, I have some brave souls in my classes, as well as both my children, who are going to try this with me for the fun of it.
I’m pleased that some of the students who did this when they were forced to are trying it again! Others would like to, but I understand the difficulties of balancing school and extracurriculars without throwing in a massive writing project for the fun of it.
One student commented it was the best month of high school, and I do remember the extraordinary writing she produced that year.
What do we get out of all this writing? For my students, it was knowing that no task is impossible.
Many have said there hasn’t been a single writing assignment come their way since then that intimidated them. They also learned to just write.
Stop worrying about if it is any good until after you’re done. Just write. And in the end, most of what they wrote was pretty good.
I’m still waiting for some of them to finish their stories for me; they reached their word count goal and stopped without wrapping up their plots!
For me, it was initially the satisfaction that I could write a novel-length story. Out of that first year came the story I eventually turned into my first published novel, Heroics 101. (Shameless plug here: it’s available directly from me or on Amazon.com, if you’re interested in getting a copy.)
Each year since, I’ve toiled away at another story and found satisfaction in the process. It’s funny; I don’t think I could tackle this project any other time of the year. The deadline of getting done in November motivates me unlike anything else.
I’ve had my idea for this year’s writing for almost a year already. It will be about a man who arrives home to learn his wife has been killed in a car accident, but he ends up having the winning lottery ticket as well.
How will he balance the grief and the elation and make a new life out of it? Only time will tell, but for now, I’ve got a word count to accumulate!
Word of the Week: This week’s word is obambulate, which means to walk around, such as, “President Obama was seen to obambulate while awaiting the election results.” Impress your friends and confuse your enemies!