Whatever Flips Your Waffle (192)
Friendship is a funny thing. Like so many things in life, good friendships go through a roller coaster ride, with ups and downs and curves and nice straight paths, sometimes moving quickly and other times plodding uphill.
My best friend when I was growing up in New Ulm was Rick Jorgensen. We hit it off in middle school and spent a lot of time together over the years. We shared a passion for sports, especially baseball. Neither of us was the greatest ballplayer, but we always had fun on the diamond.
We both worked at Randall Foods in high school and headed to his folks’ place after work to watch Sportscenter or a baseball game; he had cable, something I was envious of. His dad and mom, Warren and Jolene, were always so welcoming. They’d go elsewhere so we could crash in the living room, bring us snacks, and generally create a fun atmosphere. There were any number of nice evenings that we’d all sit outside and shoot the breeze, not something that’s always comfortable with your friends’ parents, but it worked with them.
Rick used to make trips over to Winona to visit while I was in college. He hit it off with my roommates as well, and we had many good times while pursuing higher education (if that’s what you want to label some of those weekends). I’d stop by to see his folks when I was in New Ulm; they would have been upset if they knew I was in town and didn’t say hi.
As we have traveled down life’s path, Rick and I haven’t seen each other as much. Life gets busy. He lives in New Ulm, but it often seems if we’re headed there, he’s out of town. The same has gone for when he might be visiting his in-laws in Albert Lea and we’re unavailable.
Sadly, this happens to many people. You can always hear stories of good friends from school who aren’t able to keep in touch as much as they’d like. Thanks to Facebook, I can keep in contact and keep up with what’s happening with Rick, and I still consider him a dear friend.
This was all driven home when his dad passed away recently. When my mom let me know that Warren Jorgensen had died, I knew immediately that I had to make it home for the visitation, even though it meant leaving a different family function early.
I was reminded of what I wrote recently when Carol Reese died, about how her children still have never called me by my first name. The same goes for Mr. and Mrs. Jorgensen. I had such high respect for those two that even at the wake, I called Rick’s mom Mrs. Jorgensen. I don’t feel comfortable otherwise.
It’s sad when your friends’ parents die, and this brought back the flood of memories at the Jorgensen household. I remember Mr. Jorgensen with a smile and a belly laugh most of the time. He was pretty straightforward, but he’d joke around and have a good time whenever possible.
The only time I’d ever see him upset was at an athletic event. As I stood in line at the wake, I had another classmate with me, and he reminded me of Mr. Jorgensen’s displeasure at some of the officials’ and umpires’ calls over the years. We laughed about that, and so did Rick when we told him of the reminiscing. More than once over the years, Rick would shake his head in the dugout or on the bench and mutter, “Oh, Dad…”
But it’s good to see and remember those things too. We often idealize the parents of our friends and believe they have no faults. We don’t usually see that side of them, but deep down we know nobody’s perfect. Still, if you can be close to perfection, Mr. Jorgensen was that. He volunteered a lot and stayed very active as long as he could. He had a kind word for everybody (except maybe some of those umpires) and brought joy wherever he went.
The world has one less smile in it now. However, I hope to make up for that by making more of an effort to rekindle a dormant friendship with Rick and bring more joy and those great belly laughs back into our lives.
Word of the Week: This week’s word is festinate, which means to hurry or hasten, as in, “We often festinate through life and should spend more time laughing and taking in the sights.” Impress your friends and confuse your enemies!
As we grow up, there are many people who offer us advice: our parents, siblings, other relatives, teachers, friends – the list goes on and on. Quite often, we fail to heed this advice; the frivolity of youth causes us to believe we always know what’s best. Then we reach an age where we start dispensing advice to younger people… and realize all those people from our younger years were right.
Not much is more gratifying than having somebody come and tell you that you were right. Many of us have had to make this admission to our parents and others from long ago. Just in case I haven’t told some people that, here are some things others were right about that I didn’t necessarily believe at the time.
My third grade teacher, Mr. Galvin, told me that writing could be fun. While I enjoyed writing, I didn’t necessarily consider it fun while I was going through school. It was another hoop to jump through, and it wasn’t very difficult for me.
I think back on that now that I enjoy writing more than I ever have. Between my column and my two novels, the most important thing is the fun. I’ve rarely done a job in my life without enjoying it, and I wouldn’t sit down to type out some ramblings every week if I didn’t like doing it. Good advice that only took me 25-30 years to figure out!
When I started at NRHEG, Mr. Nordlie told me to shut up for three years. Most of you might think that an impossible task for me! However, I took that advice, reluctantly. He said that I should stay in the background and learn by watching. If I had problems, I should ask for help. If there was something I didn’t like, I should build a bridge and get over it. Once I had established myself in my job, then I could start to test the waters if there were things I thought should change.
This was good advice. Even if it was tough for me to keep my opinions to myself those first years, I managed, and I found that I did indeed learn much through observation. There were plenty of established teachers who would help me if I had a problem and guided me through some trying times.
So many people have this early in a career, and thinking back, I realized that Mr. Nordlie’s advice probably works at many jobs. There is not always a need to come in and rock the boat immediately. There are even times when I thought something might not be working in the structure of the school, but by keeping my mouth shut, I came to realize that some of those kinks worked themselves out. Rather than insert myself into a situation, there were many of those that didn’t need any help to be resolved.
Growing up, I saw how involved my parents were in local groups. When Dad joined the school board of the Catholic schools in New Ulm, he told me that some things needed to be changed. There were times you had to step up and work hard to see that change. He thought the same thing as a member of our parish council and in other organizations.
Over the past decade or so, I’ve started to heed that advice too. There have been areas that I thought could use a fresh perspective. I’ve followed in Dad’s footsteps by becoming more involved. I joined the negotiating team for our union because I wanted more input from some of us that are right in the middle of our careers; I felt like our opinions were not being heard. When a calendar committee was formed, I was first in line to sign up. My main concern there was making up snow days, and I feel like the committee has done a good job of making adjustments to it which make sense educationally.
And that leads to advice I got from Peter Parker, the Amazing Spider-Man, when I started reading comics: With great power comes great responsibility. I thought of this recently while trying to put out fires as a negotiator and a member of the calendar committee. I have a responsibility to listen to people and take into account all opinions. I have a say in those two important areas, but my opinion is not the only one, and I have to exercise caution before jumping forward without taking into account all sides of an issue.
So to all those people: you were right! Sometimes it took a while to use, but I’m thankful I had people to tell me important advice.
I hope everyone has a blessed Easter season. That combined with vestiges of spring make this a wonderful time of the year!
Word of the Week: This week’s word is recrudescence, which means a renewed activity after a period of dormancy, as in, “The recrudescence of the grass and leaves was a welcome sight in April.” Impress your friends and confuse your enemies!
One of the movements in education is to have students read from a variety of genres, or types of books. I was hesitant about this at first – why not let kids have more choice in what they read? If they start a series of books (Harry Potter, Hunger Games, Divergent, etc.), should we interrupt something the students truly enjoy?
As with so many things, when I saw my own daughter embrace this idea, I decided to try it myself. There are any number of genres, but I focused in on these: realistic fiction, historical fiction, mystery, fantasy, science fiction, poetry, and non-fiction. Realistic fiction could be broken down into many sub-genres (sports, teens, romance, etc.), but leaving it as one encourages students to try more.
The basic theory is this: expose children to many different forms of literature, and they will discover areas outside their comfort zones and learn more through that exposure. Let’s face it: many students would stay cozily confined in realistic fiction because they associate those stories most with their own lives. There’s nothing quite like seeing a kid, sometimes grudgingly, admit that non-fiction or fantasy is rather fun to read.
When I started exploring this path a few years ago, I made it my aim to do this type of reading myself. If I want kids to read different types of books during the year, I should make the same thrusts into the literary realms. I’ve always been partial to fantasy and science fiction, but now I’ve discovered new ranges of reading, sometimes thanks to the suggestions of my students! With your permission (which is given if you keep reading!), I’d like to share some of that broadening with you by telling you about some books I’ve read recently. They’ve helped me explore new and exciting places that I might or might not have reached for before.
Non-fiction: This is a tough one to have kids think is fun to read. Most people think of non-fiction as boring real stuff. However, many kids have discovered they enjoy biographies of sports stars, informational books about hunting, and other items that hit on a particular interest. I had a chance to read Yes, It’s Hot in Here, a fun non-fiction book about life as a professional sports mascot. It was an intriguing look at the history of mascots and one man’s personal journey, interspersed with humorous stories of such characters as the San Diego Chicken and the Phillie Phanatic. Good stuff, an easy read, and something I might suggest for kids who have a hard time picking out some good non-fiction.
Mystery: Many students have become interested in the 39 Clues series of mysteries. These books follow a couple of kids on a treasure hunt of sorts, as they try to solve various clues to find the most powerful substance on earth. There is family intrigue and parts that really make a reader think. However, these are books that are also an easier reading level, so they become good choices for struggling readers. I enjoy trying to keep up with some popular trends, and these have been good books to read in-between some heavier selections.
Fantasy: I’m currently listening to the final book in the Magicians Trilogy by Lev Grossman. The best way to describe these books is Harry Potter for adults. It’s a much more mature look at a world in which magic exists. Fascinating characters and situations make for good material.
Science Fiction: While the many comic books I still read fit into this category, I also finished the Southern Reach Trilogy. I still don’t know what to think about it. It was confusing at times, interesting enough to keep me going at others, but unfulfilling at the end. I’m not sure I’d recommend these unless you like really off-kilter stories.
Historical Fiction and Poetry: I’ve been remiss in these areas. I’m not a huge poetry fan and haven’t read a book with that in a few years. I enjoy historical fiction, but haven’t had one come across my plate in the past year or so.
Realistic Fiction: I mentioned earlier that this includes so many different books, but I just finished a good one. Biggie is the debut novel by former Owatonna journalist Derek Sullivan. It follows a high school boy who’s morbidly obese and his struggles to lose weight and decide whether or not he really wants to fit in with his classmates. It follows some traditional themes of sports and dating, but Sullivan doesn’t always follow the path a reader might expect, and it was a very good read that will likely end up on my bookshelf at school.
There you go! Why not try something outside your comfort zone? Much like some food your parents made you eat, you just might like it!
Word of the Week: This week’s word is placentious, which means pleasing or inclined to please, as in, “The placentious book appealed to a wide range of readers.” Impress your friends and confuse your enemies!
Quick quiz: The best way to measure student learning is: A. yearly standardized tests; B. written exams at the end of each year; C. a portfolio of varied assessments – what’s the correct answer?
As you read this, my students are enmeshed in the beginning of testing season. The Minnesota Comprehensive Assessments (MCAs) have begun, and that must mean it’s time for my annual rant about standardized testing. Thus, you know that answer A above must be incorrect!
Standardized testing has long been a part of American education. Many of us remember the Iowa Basics that we took every year. They weren’t so bad, just a couple days off from the regular curriculum. I look back and think they were given just for the sake of giving them; I don’t recall any pressure to do well.
This type of fill-in-the-bubble test carried on to storied tests such as the ACT and SAT. But at least those tests meant something. If you wanted to go to college, you needed to achieve a particular score; if you wanted scholarships, you needed to score even higher. Those seemed like tests to give some thought and effort to in advance.
I’ve written before on just how many tests our students have to take. Part of this is the fault of the government and part falls on our own school district for adding more than the requirement in an effort to see where our kids are lacking to prepare better for the “big” tests. This becomes a vicious cycle though, since the extra testing is enough to turn kids off for the annual tests given by the state. Whatever benefits are thought to be gotten from the extra “choose the best answer” tests are long lost by middle school, when the petulance of being a teenager adds to the chaos.
I prefer to judge my students based on a progression of skills through the year (or years if I have them in 7th and 8th grade). My 7th graders write an essay in September and come back to that essay in May for revisions. The changes are astounding! They have learned a lot about writing during the year. The same thing goes for reading. The level of stories goes up throughout the year. By 8th grade, they don’t realize they are reading more difficult material because they’ve reached a different comfort level.
However, portfolios of work would be time consuming for the state to look through. And why do they need to keep track of every student in Minnesota? Is it because they don’t trust the schools to do their jobs? There are some theories on that, but good luck getting the Minnesota Department of Education to give you a straight answer.
Tests show that our students are not reading to grade level. It’s funny, however, how the rigor of those tests has changed dramatically over the years. When I started teaching, we gave the Basic Standards Tests (BSTs) to 8th graders. Across the state, most students passed these tests; NRHEG maxed out above 90% in math and reading multiple times. Suddenly, the BSTs went away, to be replaced by the MCAs. And there went our scores. The state has fiddled with these tests many times since they began, constantly shifting the target. We were told the BSTs were 8th grade level – so how could scores across the state have dropped with the MCAs?
It’s simple. Schools were doing TOO well. That wasn’t something to be celebrated by MDE or the federal government. They wanted to have more control over local schools, so they changed the formula to give themselves a reason to interfere. The state and all its school districts have thrown millions of dollars away on these tests. Multi-million dollar contracts are signed across the nation by states and testing companies.
However, there may be some relief in sight. Governor Dayton has said he wants to cut back on testing by at least one-third. Is an occasional test okay? Sure thing. Would a graduation reading and math test be a good idea? Absolutely – our kids should enter the world with basic skills. Is anything proved by these tests every single year? Nope.
Come see the progress our students make. Then think about how much more they could make if we didn’t have to spend weeks every year teaching to these tests. Answer C above is the best answer, but the government would never look at that type of question as good enough for their testing.
Word of the Week: Thanks to Pam and Larry Goehring for the collection of books with so many wonderful words – I’m stocked up for a long time! This week’s word is poltroon, which means an utter coward, as in, “The columnist was certainly no poltroon, always standing behind his opinion.” Impress your friends and confuse your enemies!
There are many tremendous people I’ve met in the NRHEG area since I started teaching here in 1996. This past week we lost one, a person who had more of an impact on me than she ever realized. I don’t think I even realized that until Carol Reese passed away following an inspiring battle with cancer.
Starting as a young buck fresh out of college in a small town like New Richland can be intimidating. Everyone knows who you are long before you know many of them. However, Carol and her husband Jeff befriended me early on. They made me feel comfortable and welcome, and I found quickly that every time I would see Carol, she’d be wearing that unbelievable smile that was her trademark.
I was fortunate to have their daughter Joy in class my second year and son Jacey shortly after that. (Dusty escaped me, lucky guy.) This only helped increase my confidence, as I always heard a kind, encouraging word from Carol, be it at parent-teacher conferences or Jacey’s baseball games. Her soft-spoken manner really was impactful; it helped a person really pay attention to what Carol had to say.
It was really great to work in Jeff’s baseball program as a coach for 13 years. Even better was seeing the tremendous relationship and understanding he and Carol had about baseball. Baseball is and always will be a passion for Jeff, and Carol understood that. Every wife would like to see more of her husband, but a coach’s wife is a particular kind of special. I know she used to joke that Jeff spent so much time there, she’d probably have to build him a place to stay at Legion Field – at least she’d always know where to find him!
She always knew what was going on in the baseball program. There were so many times I’d see her, and she’d know what was happening with my 7th grade team. Carol didn’t have to know that or pay any attention if Jeff talked about it, but that showed the deep compassion she had for everyone. Just knowing her appreciation for the job I was doing was amazing.
I miss the days when she’d bring her little dancers to perform at halftime of basketball games. She always came over to give me an update on who was performing, so I could introduce them. But she also took the time to ask, no, demand that I show her pictures of my kids. Everything was about others, not her. She told me at one point to announce the kids as the Dance Studio Dancers, after I had called them Carol’s Dance Studio Dancers. There’s always a part of me that feels like I disappointed her because Jayna was never into dance, even though it was such a great activity for so many kids.
As I was leaving her wake, I thought of something else: what a stupendous parent she was. I’ve joked with Joy for ages that she can call me Mark instead of Mr. Domeier. She’s plenty of years removed from my classroom, and we’re only about six years apart in age. Jacey is the same way, but they insist that they can’t do that. That’s a sign of respect that has been instilled in them. And it also dawned on me as I left the church: I don’t think Carol ever called me Mark either; it was always Mr. Domeier. I know she looked younger than me, but that respect carried on to her children, and she and Jeff had a lot to be proud of in their offspring.
I know Carol would be embarrassed by a column about her. However, there are simply so many superlatives about this amazing woman. From the time I found out she was diagnosed with this horrible illness until her death, I thought of her every day, as did so many other people. That, along with her incredible inner strength and the love she garnered from so many people, helped carry her along much longer than anyone might have suspected. Of course, when you have a shining star like Carol Reese, it’s never long enough.
Still, she’s left behind a legacy unlike any other. There have been so many people, young and old, who have and will continue to look to her as inspiration. May God provide her the right music to keep the dance going.
Word of the Week: This week’s word is via dolorosa, which means a distressing journey or experience, as in, “Carol’s via dolorosa was difficult for her but inspirational for others.” Impress your friends and confuse your enemies!
Okay, I really wanted to tell you about something. It all started…
Oops, wait, someone over here needs something. Hold on.
Done. Now, where was I? Oh yes, so anyway…
Gosh darn phone! I’d better take this.
Now, finally, let me tell you… Wait, where are you going?
Ever been in this situation, on one side or the other? Annoying to get interrupted? Annoying to get ignored while an interruption takes place? Do you notice it getting worse?
In our fast-paced world, it seems like people are more and more eager to get their point across quickly. Maybe it’s because they’re afraid they’ll forget what they were going to say. Maybe it’s because they lack patience. Maybe it’s because they have a hard time focusing on any one thing for very long.
Michelle and I watched an episode of Modern Family the other night that was a perfect example of this. It was completely shot from the perspective of one of the characters interacting with others via her computer. She was messaging, calling via Facetime, checking her Facebook, Googling things, and various other activities, never paying too much attention to any one thing. It was a great microcosm of so many people in the world today.
We’re all guilty of interrupting others, for one reason or another. But what can we do to slow down this epidemic, especially among young people?
Watching Deb Goette, who coached the 8th grade girls for basketball this year, is a great example of how to handle this problem. Kids would constantly come and try to talk to her when she was in a conversation with someone else, and she would simply hold up a hand. Barring an emergency, the person she was talking to initially was considered more important; the other person would just have to wait.
I was trying to teach a lesson on persuasion to my 8th graders. There were given a scenario where, within their groups, they had to come to a consensus on some imaginary situations. It was interesting to watch the groups debate. Many kids had a hard time listening to others; they wanted to spout their point of view RIGHT NOW. One of the items to learn was to listen first. By listening, especially during an argument, we can often find clues to help support our side by better understanding the opposition.
Even in a non-confrontational situation, if we listen more, we’ll eventually get our turn. We might even find the other person more willing to hear us out if we’ve given them that courtesy.
When I was putting together requisitions last school year, I found a stanchion and ropes that I could use to form a pathway to my desk for students seeking help. It ended up costing too much, and there were other items I needed more from my budget, so I didn’t get it. I wish I had. I had two students waiting at my desk recently, and I was helping one answer a question. Another student came to the front of my desk and just started talking to me about a problem. Wait, don’t you see these two people over here already? This is not a solitary situation either; it happens often in classrooms, hallways, etc. I even had a student walk up to me in the front of the class while I was finishing a class discussion and interrupt to tell me something not related at all!
Our cell phones seem to be just as bad, if not worse, at interrupting. How many times are you talking to someone when your phone rings or buzzes, and you immediately reach to check it? It’s become habit for so many of us. Out to eat at a restaurant, in the middle of a conversation – is there a possible emergency? Maybe, but a quick check and ignoring it can be good too, without losing much of the current conversation.
Let’s face it – the world is changing. However, we can limit the interruptions with some basic lessons in courtesy and find that we still accomplish all we need to do. Maybe I’ll order those stanchions for next year though, just in case.
Word of the Week: This week’s word is fissiparous, which means tending to break into parts, as in, “The class became fissiparous when everyone wanted to interrupt everyone else to create many discussions.” Impress your friends and confuse your enemies!
While I earned my major in English Education at Winona State, I never received a minor degree. I was focused on earning my coaching certification, with my eyes set on being a varsity coach for basketball or baseball someday. I had gotten a taste of coaching after high school when my dad, who coached my summer baseball team, was sick, leaving me to coach our team. I was hooked.
Add to that all the time I spent riding the pine in basketball and baseball, and I had learned a lot by listening to my coaches. I wasn’t inclined to pout for not playing, so I used that experience to gain more knowledge about those sports I so loved. When the opportunity arose to volunteer at the Winona YMCA coaching youth girls’ basketball in 1994, I jumped at it.
That first experience led to two other coaching opportunities while in college. I learned plenty about practice and game management and was happy to become a junior high girls’ coach when I arrived at NRHEG in 1996.
Fast forward to this past season. 2007 was the last time I had coached junior high basketball. After that season, I hung up my whistle to take some time off before my daughter got to the elementary basketball program in 2010. I needed to take a breather, since I knew I’d have to coach differently for 3rd grade girls than I did for 8th graders. Plus, I was enjoying the times I got to announce varsity games and wanted to do more of that.
While I had thought that after my group of girls finished the elementary program, I’d be able to fully retire from coaching basketball, I found that I really, really liked my group of ballplayers and wanted a shot at seeing what we could do with practice every day and having everyone on one team, since we had always evenly split in elementary basketball.
Here’s something of which I’m extremely proud: We started 3rd grade with 18 girls. Two of those moved out of the district, but we still had 13 of those original kids out for basketball this year, plus six more! These girls love basketball and work hard at it. I’m a demanding coach, so it’s a credit to them for sticking through having to listen to me for four years and still wanting to commit to a full season.
We played a number of teams this year that had to use 8th graders at times because they didn’t have enough 7th graders to fully man a team by themselves. They couldn’t believe how many kids NRHEG had and often commented that it was the Carlie Wagner syndrome. I beg to differ. These girls were out for basketball before anybody knew who Carlie was. She certainly helped inspire them as they evolved, but these girls are active in other sports as well, to their credit.
I loved coaching again this year, seeing this team mature and have a lot of “ah-ha” moments on the court. It was gratifying to see support from our bench from girls who didn’t play as much, but were into every game and cheering on their teammates. There were a lot of girls who worked hard at practice, but didn’t always see a lot of the court, but I never saw them sulking on the bench, and I thought often back to my playing days and that same scenario.
The group of parents that I’ve gotten to work with these past five years has been amazing. They’ve been very supportive of the direction we’ve gone. It’s tough to arrange work schedules to make 4:30 games in 7th grade, but the cheering sections we had, even on the road, really helped motivate the girls. Even in places like Morristown and Faribault and Kasson, our crowd was usually bigger than theirs! Our Ellendale gym was as loud as I’ve ever heard it during our home tournament this year!
The best part of this year was having Todd Born at my side again, helping coach this group. He provides such insight into the game, and I was happy to see him honored at a varsity game last week for 40 years of officiating. He’s done so much for Panther basketball through being a good official for our younger levels, and some kids don’t realize it until they experience bad officiating on the road, but I know our girls recognized it this year when he would ref some of our home games. Todd deserves at least as much credit as I get for moving this group of girls in the right direction, maybe even more.
One more year of coaching. That’s what I keep telling myself. It’s an intoxicating occupation, I’ll admit, but I’m very tired. I love the job, but after next year I hope to sit back and watch them develop even more under our high school staff. My job will be done, and I hope it will be well done.
Word of the Week: This week’s word is preternatural, which means beyond what is normal or expected, as in, “The team had a preternatural ability to execute in close games, which gave their coach many gray hairs.” Impress your friends and confuse your enemies!
I’m not always right.
I hope you were sitting down, as that astonishing admission may have floored some of you. What? The guy who writes his opinion as if it were the absolute way things should be is wrong at times? Of course, some of you are thinking, “Well, duh, he’s wrong about a lot of things!”
Yes, I’m opinionated, and I’ll often be quite candid about how my ideal world might look. But if everyone agreed with me, I’d run out of things to write about!
However, I’ll admit when I’ve made a mistake. The key is the willingness to listen to other ideas and gauge all the options for the best outcome. When my students write persuasive papers, I stress how important it is to acknowledge the opposing point of view. Not only does it make the other side feel as if they’ve been listened to, but it helps you understand your opponent better if you’re able to get inside their game plan.
We don’t like to listen as much in our hectic world. We just want to make a decision and move on, often without thinking things through. We want our voice heard, and now let’s keep going. You have a thought about it? Too bad, we don’t need to stop for that; isn’t it obvious?
I’ve been thinking about this for two reasons. One is that parent-teacher conferences are right around the corner again. I’ll often talk about what I’ve seen to a parent. If there is a problem, I’ve got two options. Sometimes there is a practical solution; if a student is getting some easy things wrong, it’s a matter of taking a little extra time. However, another option is to hear about the student and some problems I might not be aware of, which need to be known in order to come up with an answer. For instance, maybe work isn’t getting done on weekends when the child is with the other parent. Then I need to contact that parent and try to talk through the problem. But I wouldn’t know that if I didn’t stop to listen.
What becomes bothersome is when we come up with a potential solution and then it’s not followed through on at home. I’m not just blowing wind to hear my own voice; I do like to see my students have some measure of success. So it’s frustrating when I talk and there’s no listening done from the other side. If we try something and I’m wrong in my idea, then we’ll try something else.
The other reason I’ve been thinking about this is the distressing behavior I’ve seen and heard about regarding our Panther fans at athletic events. NRHEG is rapidly becoming known as having the worst sportsmanship in the area.
We have some tremendous supporters of Panther sports, and most of our fans are very good. However, just like in school, it’s 5-10% that act foolish. It seems that some of our fans think we’re entitled in some way and deserve every call to go our way. There’s always a movement early in games to start to question and belittle the officials. This is the sure sign of people who are worried about the possibility of losing and want a quick excuse for why it’s not our team’s fault. Let’s just blame the officiating.
It’s a rare game I’ve ever seen that has been decided by poor officiating. Good teams learn to play through bad calls and adjust to the way the game is being called. As a coach, I’m going to get after officials if I think there are blatant mistakes being made, especially if they favor the other team. Part of my job is to defend my players and give them a fair chance.
BUT. (I know that’s a fragment, but it’s for emphasis!) It NEVER helps your team when you constantly rant at the officials. I’ve mentioned this before too, but if you’ve never officiated a sport, especially at that level, you need to sit down and keep your trap shut. You can certainly mutter to the person next to you that you think the ref missed something, but the whining is embarrassing. Go get your officiating license. I’m sure the MSHSL will welcome all the knowledgeable people sitting in our stands, as there is a shortage of officials.
I have a standing joke in my classroom with a container of Q-tips, which I sometimes suggest when a student hasn’t listened. We all need the chance to clean out our ears and listen to others, considering their ideas. We also need to listen to ourselves so we don’t make an embarrassment of NRHEG and learn how to show good sportsmanship and Panther Pride, especially during the playoffs. Thank you for your kind attention and please keep on listening!
Word of the Week: This week’s word is arenicolous, which means living, growing, or burrowing in sand, as in, “The arenicolous ostrich didn’t want to listen to anything, so he stuck his head straight down in the sand.” Impress your friends and confuse your enemies!
My wife has basically called St. Aidan’s Catholic Church in Ellendale her home parish all her life. She went to college in Mankato, and we attended All Saints in New Richland for the short time we lived there. Otherwise, St. Aidan’s is what she’s known. But not for much longer.
As many of you know, the Diocese of Winona recently announced the closing of 21 churches across Southern Minnesota. The churches will still remain available for weddings, funerals, etc. but will not host regular weekly masses or vigil masses. St. Aidan’s, as well as St. Mary’s outside Geneva, are two of these parishes, the ones that impact my readers the most.
This was some time coming. I’ve written before about declining enrollment and how it seemed only a matter of time before this happened. No official date has been set yet, but I would guess sometime by the summer of 2016. In addition to declining attendance playing a role, the smaller number of priests also is part of this. There are a number retiring in the next few years, without that many to replace them.
This is difficult for many people. I started thinking about the older members of our church, the ones who have been here for 70-80 years, the ones who only have to travel a few blocks or a mile to get to church on Sunday. This will be especially hard for them. While St. Aidan’s will officially be merged with All Saints in New Richland, I can see some people going to Blooming Prairie or Litomysl instead.
We’ll plan on making the drive west every week. It makes the most sense with our kids in religious education yet to have them learn with other kids they know. Honestly, it might be a difficult choice otherwise. The other two churches I mentioned are about the same distance away, and Michelle has family that attends each.
As a parish council member at St. Aidan’s, I know we have a monumental task ahead of us now. There will be many logistics to deal with, the most important being how we maintain the facility. The building will still need to be heated and cooled and have other routine maintenance done, and that costs money. The coffers aren’t exactly bursting right now, so it’ll be interesting to see how long we can keep things up without a regular Sunday collection.
I’m not very bitter about this since, as I said, it didn’t take a fortune teller to see this day coming. Plus, this isn’t my hometown. What continues to vex me is how the Catholic Church continues to ignore the two overarching problems and how to begin to solve them.
I’ve written before that we should allow women to be priests, so I won’t bludgeon that topic again. But it’s also time to let priests marry. If you do that, your priest shortage problem begins to turn around in a decade. Who knows how many high school students would consider this vocation, but are turned away by the idea of never having a family. I might have even considered it at that age, but never getting married? No, thank you.
It’s somewhat laughable when priests offer marital advice. That’s pretty tough to do when you haven’t lived through the natural ups and downs which occur in even the most stable marriages. I remember a number of times while Michelle and I were preparing to marry that we rolled our eyes at “advice” from our priest about things he clearly knew nothing about. This would ground priests better, and let’s be honest: the scandals that have rocked the church would mostly disappear.
The Church also admits that declining enrollment is a problem everywhere. According to the diocese, “Our population is aging and our youth and young adult membership is in decline.” There’s a simple reason for this: the Church refuses to adjust to the times. We don’t have to have rock bands playing and throw wild parties, but there has to be some change from the staid old traditions that the church stubbornly sticks to in the 21st century.
I listen to students from other religions talk enthusiastically about the messages they hear from their ministers and pastors. There are efforts to gear things to this young generation so they don’t just disappear after being confirmed. From what I’ve seen and experienced, the Catholic Church continues to pound away at what sinners we all are instead of focusing on messages of hope. I struggled as a teenager with this and nearly left the church behind entirely while in college. It was really my wife’s faith that brought me back. What is the church doing to stop this? Telling its members to go out and bring those people back? Try changing some things that drove them away first.
I realize, once again, I’m stirring the pot religiously. But I know how tough these closures will be on many people. Until change occurs, this won’t be the last round I’ll see in my lifetime. It’s time to wake up and care about the people of God. Otherwise, I’ll be changing my Sunday visit again, I’m sure.
Word of the Week: This week’s word is oratory, which means a church which no longer holds regular worship services, as in, “St. Aidan’s became an oratory, only hosting the occasional funeral and wedding.” Impress your friends and confuse your enemies!
When I was a teenager with a new driver’s license, cruising Broadway in New Ulm, I was introduced to the game of Padiddle. A padiddle is a car with one headlight burned out. If you saw one, you shouted, “Padiddle!” and slapped the ceiling of the car. It was imperative you do both; just calling it out did not qualify you for the point.
While in high school, it was just a fun thing to keep track of while we cruised back and forth. If you misidentified one (a motorcycle, for example), you lost a point. When I reached Winona for my college education, I found it was not just a New Ulm thing. I was also told that some people played it with their date, earning a kiss for every padiddle called out appropriately. Others said the guy would earn a kiss, while the girl could slug the guy in the arm.
And that led to a game I had never heard of until I reached my post-secondary years: Slug Bugs. Maybe it was because of a dearth of VW Bugs in New Ulm, but it was only when my buddy Big Bad Brad Burright (6’ 5”, 315 pounds) almost knocked me on my can while shouting, “Light blue slug bug, no returns!” that I discovered this game. Needless to say, after my bruise healed, I kept an eye out for those vehicles, especially when I was near my formidable friend.
One of the things that is bemoaned in today’s society, especially with our youth, is how few games they play that have nothing to do with electronics. We have a closet full of card and board games at home, but it’s sometimes like pulling teeth to suggest a rousing game of Sorry or Trouble with the kids.
It’s the 80th anniversary of Monopoly this year, a game I have loved for many years (not all 80, despite my students’ notions of my age). In fact, I used to play the game by myself, representing four different players. (Okay, that might qualify me for questionable looks and worries about a social life.) Some of my roommates and I, while at Winona, would play Speed Monopoly. You had to call out what you were owed before the next person rolled the dice, which meant you had to be on your toes at all times. We had one game last over the course of two days before a winner was declared!
I grew up watching my parents play card games with their Card Club every month. Sheephead, 500, and other games were learned by observation. When I made it to New Richland, I fell in with my teaching friends and learned Hearts and Euchre. We spent many evenings and anticipated late starts due to snow playing cards for hours on end. As I’ve written about previously, I’ve grown to love playing Texas Hold ‘Em poker as well.
In one of my math classes in high school, our teacher taught us how to play Cribbage and Backgammon. I was hooked, especially to Cribbage. When I discovered that Michelle enjoyed it as well, we spent many hours playing each other, good-naturedly ribbing each other about winning and losing. I was also able to introduce her to the card game Hand and Foot, though it’s been too many years since we played, and I’d have to look up the rules again. We also discovered Phase 10 while at my sister’s place and find that a great card game to play.
When Jayna was young, she wanted to learn how to play checkers, so we worked through the rules. She then asked to play chess too. I told her she had to beat me at checkers first (I’m not the type to just let my kids win, shockingly), and she then did so within a few more times. I set up the chess board, figuring it would be some time before she grasped the rules and complexities of the game. She beat me on her first try. Ouch.
I fear these games are fading away. You can find an electronic version of just about any game, and they become addicting. Just try playing Solitaire with real cards after spending some time playing on the computer!
Still, some of the classics still live on and are hard to replicate on a computer. Maybe as winter continues, we can find more time together as families and play some games. At the very least, I’m currently ahead of Michelle in Padiddle by 738…
One more thing this week: By the time you read next week’s column, I’ll have another double-digit midget in the house! Happy birthday to my little buddy, Anton!
Word of the Week: This week’s word is mythomane, which means having a tendency to exaggerate or lie, as in, “The wife questioned the husband’s mythomane statement about the current point totals of the game.” Impress your friends and confuse your enemies!
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My full name is Mark Alan Domeier. I’ve mentioned before that I rarely get called by my first name anymore, but it’s always interesting to me how I got my name. My dad told me once that he wanted four sons and would name them after the four Gospel writers. Well, I was the only son out of four children, and I was given the name of the second of those four in the Bible.
The name Mark actually was around prior to the time of Christ. If you go way back to old Latin, it is Mart-kos, which means consecrated to the god Mars, the Roman god of war. I do enjoy mythology quite a bit, so I guess that’s apropos!
As I researched my name, it was interesting that following the Middle Ages, my name wasn’t prevalent until the 19th century. Of course, Mark Twain, from that century, might be one of the most famous people with whom I share a name, though that was just a pen name for Samuel Clemens. Funny, too, how he’s one of my favorite authors!
There have been plenty of famous Marks, but my favorite is likely Mark Hamill, the actor who portrayed Luke Skywalker in the original Star Wars movies (as well as the upcoming one). Fitting there as well that I share a name with an actor who had such a big impact on me!
I suppose the fact that I “mark” papers might round out just how well my parents named me! As far as my middle name… I have no idea. I think they just liked it, even though it’s not what you might consider the normal spelling.
My wife at least knows the origins of both her names. She was named Michelle as a female version of her dad’s name, Michael. Little did she know, it was originally a French name, later adapted by English-speaking countries. It has a more Christian meaning, as it derives from Hebrew, and means “Who is like God?”. Yes, that’s a question mark, not a comparison to the Supreme Being!
Michelle’s middle name is Jane, and that was easily identified since her grandma’s name was the same. However, when our daughter was born, we wanted a nod to that, but with a twist. We came up with Jayna. It’s a tribute to Michelle’s grandma, but gives our first-born a pretty unique name. We both really liked the name Emily, but also each had cousins with that name, so that became Jayna’s middle name.
Yes, the name Jayna is used in the old Super Friends cartoon (one of the Wonder Twins), but I swear I had forgotten that. There was a character in some of the Star Wars novels named Jaina; she was the daughter of Han and Leia (also a twin, scary!), but that’s not the basis of our daughter’s name either.
Before our son was born, we weren’t sure if we were having a boy or a girl, so we had to prepare for either. No matter what, we wanted to have some homage to my side of the family. When he was born, we took both my grandpas’ names and applied them to Anton William. However, my grandpa always went by Tony, and my boy just isn’t a Tony, so he’s got his own claim to the name. If Anton had been born a girl, he would’ve been Olivia Ann, Olivia because we really liked that name and Ann after my grandma.
It’s such an important decision when parents are expecting. After all, the names you choose will be saddled on your child forever! I remember discussing names and immediately dismissing some, based on students I’d had in class! I didn’t really want to be reminded of some of them, which might have limited the number of names we had to choose from! There’s currently another Jayna in our school district, but I’ve yet to have an Anton; I guess I will in a few years for sure.
Some people don’t choose a name until the baby is born. They want to see what the baby looks like and then decide. I guess that works, but I’ve always felt like our kids have really grown into their names. It’s good to wait to see what a pet looks like before naming it, but I liked being prepared for our children.
As mentioned, our kids have some unique names, but this is happening more and more. It’s not just the originality, but trying to spell names in different ways. Growing up, we thought it was weird to have a Jennie and a Jenny in our class. Now I might have a Haylie, a Hayleigh, and a Hayley, usually all in the same class section, just to make calling on students an adventure!
Names are important; they give us our identity. It’s good to know who we are and maybe even to know that we were meant to be that person from the time we were born!
Word of the Week: This week’s word is ultracrepidarian, which means giving opinions beyond one’s area of expertise, as in, “The ultracrepidarian nonsense spouting out of Cliff Clavin’s mouth at Cheers was enough to make the other patrons roll their eyes.” Impress your friends and confuse your enemies!
My 7th graders are working on essays right now, and sometimes, as a way of becoming better at teaching, I’ll engage in practicing along with them. Following is an essay I’ve put together regarding mandatory community service:
Look at me, look at me! I’m the center of attention! For many teenagers, this idea is the beginning and ending of their world. If something does not help or affect them, it does not matter. This is why mandatory community service should be a requirement for high school graduation. Helping others is a good resume builder. Volunteering is a good way to broaden a social network. Plus, community service is needed and is the right thing to do. For these reasons, all students need to perform community service before being awarded a diploma.
If everybody has to help with community service, how can that possibly help a resume? Wouldn’t everybody have the same thing? This is only true if you do the bare minimum and do not put forth much effort in your search for community work. However, if you have an idea of what you want to do after your schooling, you can find many opportunities that would fit into your future area of expertise. Students going into a medical field can volunteer at hospitals or nursing homes. If you are interested in teaching, you can volunteer in a school or with a parent-teacher organization. Opportunities abound for motivated students to build their resumes through community work.
Look at a typical teenager’s Facebook page; they probably have hundreds of friends. Why would they need a bigger social network? The real question should be: how many of their “friends” will help them get a job someday? In a world where jobs are becoming scarcer and being outsourced to different countries, the idea of who you know becomes more important than what you know. President Obama said in Time back in 2009, in regards to community service, “You'll get work experience, you'll make contacts, you'll network, you'll expand your community in a way that ultimately will be good for you.” These contacts will be good references to have when in the hunt for a paying job someday. Who knows? Maybe they will help you get a job at the location you volunteered.
If all this community service is supposed to be for the good of others, why make it mandatory? Many people do not realize how good something can be for them until they try it. Think of some of the foods you did not want to try when you were young. Some of those are probably now foods you enjoy. According to Richard Stengel, also in Time, but in 2007, “It is the simple but compelling idea that…national service… should become a countrywide rite of passage.” For a generation of young people who have a reputation of being egocentric and focused only on themselves, this is a chance to show that they can rise above that and look out for the welfare of others as well.
As you can see, mandatory community service would be a good thing for all high school students to complete. The duration of that service could be debated, but the reasons to do it are clear. Helping others is a good resume builder. Volunteering is a good way to broaden a social network. Plus, community service is needed and is the right thing to do. Thank you for your time and for considering the idea of community service for all students.
Okay, some of you are shuddering at memories of essay writing when you were in school (or currently, if you are right now!). Still, I’ve always thought that essays are the easiest pieces to write since they follow a basic pattern: introduce your topic, elaborate and prove, and wrap everything up. Creative writing is much more difficult since you have to start from scratch, but that’s a column for another time.
So should we have mandatory community service for our high school students? Clearly, by my essay, you can see that I think so. The question is: how do we make it happen?
Word of the Week: This week’s word is pregustator, which means a person who has the job of tasting food or drink before it’s served, as in, “The student needed to volunteer, so he became a pregustator at the nursing home, making sure the food wasn’t too spicy.” Impress your friends and confuse your enemies!
One great thing about living in Minnesota is that we always have something to talk about – the weather! I’ve been partially inspired by the current activity and also by a great word I ran across in a book I’m reading (see the Word of the Week) to continue that conversation.
Winter conversation: “How much snow did you get?” “I couldn’t even see the neighbor’s, the wind was blowing so hard.” “You think this is cold? When I was your age…”
Spring conversation: “How much rain did you get?” “When will the frost go out?” “When will the farmers be done in the fields?”
Summer conversation: “How much rain did you get?” “I might not have to mow again if we don’t get rain soon.” “You think this is hot? When I was your age…”
Fall conversation: “When will the first snow come?” “When will we have the first frost?” “When will the farmers be done in the fields?”
You may notice some similarities, but it’s usually the topic du jour, especially if nothing of earth-shattering importance is happening. Even if there are world-shaking events, you can bet the weather will get mixed into the talk.
I enjoy listening to Dan Barreiro on KFAN at 3:00 some days. He has coined the phrase “weather terrorists” to describe meteorologists these days, since they always seem to have some doom and gloom scenario to draw in viewers. It’s always the storm of the century, a snownami, or even, I kid you not, the threat of a brown Christmas this past year.
I’m not sure if they glamorize simple weather patterns for the ratings or so they can say they were right on the off-chance that the weather takes a turn for the worse. There are so many times we’re supposed to get three inches of rain or 5-8 inches of snow, and we barely see anything. Maybe they’re afraid of being held culpable if we do get socked and they hadn’t forecasted it.
Weather is unpredictable; we all know that. The forecasting has certainly gained in accuracy, but many in the know will tell you that it’s mostly guess work beyond 2-3 days. That never stopped me from fretting at least a week in advance when I was in charge of baseball tournaments!
This past Monday, January 5, we were supposed to get 4-8 inches of snow. I didn’t even hit two on my driveway. It really petered out to a simple snowfall. Today, January 8, we’re out of school for good reason, as a blizzard is whipping snow around furiously. Yesterday, I saw we were in a blizzard watch, with the snow and winds due to hit in the afternoon. Before bed, it had been upgraded to a blizzard warning, and as I was ready to walk out the door this morning, we got the call that we were out of school, soon followed by many other schools. In this case, the storm actually hit, and even sooner than they had guessed.
Many times we joke that meteorologists are allowed to be wrong more than any other profession (unless you count many of the Minnesota Twins’ hitters the past few years). Still, I’m sure it’s not an easy job. They can’t control Mother Nature any more than we can.
Still, we seem to get freaked out a lot more than we used to. Today was certainly an example of a good old-fashioned blizzard. But there are other days that you just shake your head and wonder why people are panicking. We do live in Minnesota after all; most of us should be used to a couple inches of snow, and it shouldn’t impact what we do.
Our reaction to the cold has changed as well. In 2001, the wind chill calculations were adjusted. For example, if the air temperature was 0 and the wind speed was 10, the old wind chill would have been -21. Today it would be -16. I seem to remember -50 wind chills when I was young. Today, that would be equivalent to -32 wind chill. We never used to get out of school for cold, but most schools now consider that, at least going late to let the sun come up.
It’s been a tough start to 2015 weather-wise, but I think we were spoiled with warm temps through most of December, so the cold is hitting harder than usual. Stay warm, have some soup, and turn your lights on when you’re driving! Before you know it, we’ll be wondering how much rain we got!
Word of the Week: This week’s word is apricity, which means the warmth of sunlight in winter, as in, “The school administration knew that the apricity once daylight arrived would make it warm enough to go to school.” (Thanks to the great book What If? by Randall Munroe; it’s his favorite word!) Impress your friends and confuse your enemies!
A year ago I wrote a column about my New Year’s resolutions and asked you to share them and help with them in your own lives. Let’s take a look back and see what we accomplished; you can keep your own score at home! Go ahead, get a pen and paper – I’ll wait!
Ready? Okay, I was going to try to judge people less. Um, next… No, really, I did make an effort, but found it really difficult when I was confronted with foolishness at so many turns. And really, how can I not judge when I see logos and store signs either missing apostrophes or adding excessive punctuation?
I think I’ve done better with my students. I’ve tried to find out extenuating circumstances, but as I wrote recently, there also comes a point where the excuses have to stop. Do you not perform at your job and use some excuse from home? How far does that get you?
Are you ahead of me already? Okay, onward then!
I was going to try to be a better parent and husband. I’ve remained very involved in Jayna’s and Anton’s activities and have discovered just how much driving it takes to try to get to all their activities. There were too many times this summer that they both played ball on the same night, so that was impossible. And I’ve been looking at the upcoming basketball schedule – uff da! I see a night coming up where Jayna has a game in Blooming Prairie and Anton plays at halftime of the varsity game in New Richland. At least that’s not too long a trip!
I’ve really worked at listening to them more and not losing my temper at things I can’t control. It’s been tough with this freshly-minted teenager in the house. But then I think back when I’m upset about something. Not listening the first time? Okay, I did that too. Having a messy room? I had many rows with my folks on that one. Not finishing chores in a timely fashion? Well, I think I’m ahead of my dear daughter on that one!
When I think of my marriage, I think Michelle and I are stronger than ever. I’m still not great at expressing feelings, but I’m trying to pick my words more carefully. When Michelle hurt her knee, the struggle once more brought the strength of our combo to the forefront.
I love my wife and kids, and I think I’ve had some success with that resolution; hopefully you did too!
The last thing I was looking at was not being so busy. That’s tough, but I did find more time last summer to just sit back and read and relax. I turned down some education opportunities so I would feel like I had a summer. As a family, we also left 4-H. It was a tough decision, but we made it together. We just couldn’t dedicate the time to a fine organization that we thought it deserved. We didn’t want to just be half-hearted members. I’ve increased my workload with coaching by helping Anton in baseball and moving to full-time status as Jayna’s junior high coach, a much larger task than elementary coaching.
I think I can call that a wash. Two steps forward, one step back. So in reality, I was successful in one resolution and maybe stayed about the same in the other two. What’s your score?
A few other things to wrap up 2014, especially since there are lists everywhere else you look. Here are a few of my “bests”:
*Best movie: Tough one here, but Guardians of the Galaxy edged out Captain America: The Winter Soldier.
*Best book: Another close race, but The Book Thief nudges out Gone Girl. Without spoilers, the difference here was the ending. I’m not sure how I wanted GG to end, but it wasn’t like that!
*Best TV show: The Walking Dead continues to amaze me by how little it’s about the zombies, and the audience still cares! Honorable mention goes to the best NEW show this year, The Flash. You mean you’re not watching the best super-hero live action show on TV right now?
*Best sporting event: This will have to be a tie. I just can’t decide between watching the NRHEG Lady Panthers repeat as state basketball champs and seeing the Home Run Derby at Target Field!
And with that, it’s onward to 2015!
Word of the Week: This week’s word is fungible, which means interchangeable, as in, “The columnist thought two events were fungible, so they finished in a tie.” Impress your friends and confuse your enemies!