2012 NRHEG high school graduate shares his story
NATURAL - Luke Stout is pictured above with his two dogs, Itchy and Cinnamon.
By JESSICA LUTGENS
Staff Writer
Despite progress being made in recent years, the topic of addiction is something that still carries a pretty heavy stigma in the general public. However, those who have experienced addiction have a unique understanding of how powerful sharing one's story - the real, true, and often incredibly difficult times, which in the best cases lead to the almost equally difficult journey of recovery - can be to someone who is still struggling.
That was the main reason why one individual decided to reach out and share his story earlier this month. Luke Stout, 27, commemorated three years of sobriety on April 15 - something he would not have imagined doing during the time of his active addiction.
Stout's road to recovery began in a hospital emergency room. This wasn't the first time he had visited the ER - it had become sort of a backup plan of his that many other addicts have used as a way to get a fix in a desperate situation. During opiate withdrawals, he would go to the ER stating that he was having a panic attack in order to get a prescription for anxiety medications (benzodiazepines).
This strategy was successful the first two times, but by the third emergency room visit, hospital staff had caught on to the scheme. Stout was placed on a 72-hour psychiatric hold for mental evaluation.
"They said I had a chemical dependency mood disorder," he recalled. "For so long, I had either been high or withdrawing. They didn't know what was wrong with me."
After the 72 hours was up, Stout was sent to a 30-day inpatient treatment program at Beuterre in Owatonna. There, he was diagnosed with P.A.W.S. - Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome - something that many recovering addicts experience, and one of the leading causes of relapse.
"I did my 30 days there, I came out, and I was miserable," Stout said.
That didn't stop him from continuing on his recovery path, however. Following the inpatient treatment program, Stout attended AA and NA meetings regularly, got a sponsor, and disconnected from all social media in order to focus on maintaining his sobriety
"I had to restart my entire life," he said
At the beginning of inpatient treatment, his life was a bit of a mess - Stout said that at the time he was living with his mom, had a run-down car, and was $10,000 in debt from medical bills, unpaid fines, etc. Still, he was determined to get away from his old lifestyle, whatever that took - and luckily, he had a support system to help him through the process.
"I had a good base of supportive people around me," Stout explained, specifically mentioning his parents as well as his girlfriend, Lauren. He worked on removing outside distractions and improving himself rather than trying to please other people.
"I focused on my relationships with people in my immediate circle, and forgot about everyone else," he said, describing a crucial part of recovery - removing oneself from old relationships that cultivate toxic and self-destructive behavior.
Though it was undeniably difficult at first, after a while Stout became more comfortable in sobriety. What was once a miserable experience became almost easy, natural. Living a sober life turned out to be a much more enjoyable and fulfilling experience than the temporary highs - and inevitable lows - of active addiction.
"When you're using, it's like trying to keep up with all the regular [aspects of life] while having an inner war with yourself," he said. "Now, without that war, it's become more natural and manageable."
Despite having three years of sobriety, resisting the urge to use is still a struggle for Stout, though he has found ways to cope with those feelings in a safe and healthier way.
"I still have thoughts daily, but I can kick them out of my mind a lot quicker now than when I first started [with sobriety]," he said.
Now, instead of turning to drugs or alcohol, Stout usually reaches for sweets instead. Candy and ice cream are two of his favorites. He also started closely following sports, which gives him something to focus on regularly and diverts his attention from cravings.
During his recovery from addiction, Stout has gone back to work full-time, having since paid off his debt and saved enough money for a down payment on a house he plans to purchase this summer. He currently lives in Austin with his girlfriend and their two dogs, Itchy and Cinnamon
When asked about his advice to others struggling with addiction, Stout had one suggestion - to reach out and ask for help.
Having seen others try to seek help for addiction only to be turned away due to lack of health insurance, and knowing the immediate negative opinion many people have regarding addiction - as well as experiencing both addiction and recovery himself - Stout understands how much easier said than done reaching out for help as an addict can be. Yet, regardless of circumstance, reaching out is always better than trying to go it alone.
"The longer you wait, you're just digging yourself a deeper hole," he said.
Stout noted that he hopes to help change the stigma surrounding addiction and the idea that those who struggle with addiction are bad people, even if it is only in the mind of one person.
(Note: for those struggling with addiction and in need of help or support, contact the SAMSA [Substance Abuse & Mental Health Services Administration] National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP [4357].)