NRHEG Star Eagle

137 Years Serving the New Richland-Hartland-Ellendale-Geneva Area
Newspaper of Record for NRHEG School District
Newspaper of Record for Waseca County, MN
PO Box 248 • New Richland, MN 56072

507-463-8112
email: steagle@hickorytech.net
Published every Thursday
Yearly Subscription: Waseca, Steele, and Freeborn counties: $52
Minnesota $57 • Out of state $64
Jim Lutgens

Jim Lutgens

Thursday, 20 March 2014 03:09

Shining on the big stage

Wagner, Panthers break records in state opener

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NRHEG's Carlie Wagner goes to the hoop for two of her single-game state tournament record 53 points during the Panthers' 100-68 victory over Pequot Lakes in the opening round of the Minnesota State Girls' Basketball Tournament Wednesday at Mariucci Arena in Minneapolis. Wagner broke her own state record set last year. The Panthers' 100 points are also a tournament record — breaking the old mark set in 1984 — and the two teams' 168 points were a record. The Panthers advanced to face Howard Lake-Waverly-Winsted in the semifinals Friday at 6 p.m. at Williams Arena in Minneapolis. Also pictured above: the Panthers' Jade Schultz and Pequot Lakes' Katie White (22) and Vanessa Lane (11). If the Panthers win Friday, they'll play for the state championship Saturday at 2 p.m. at Williams Arena. If they lose Friday, they play for third place Saturday at noon at Concordia University in St. Paul. (Star Eagle photo by Jim Lutgens)

Tuesday, 18 March 2014 20:26

Questions abound at public hearing

Ellendale City Council

By SCOTT GROTH

Contributing Writer

The Ellendale City Council held a public hearing Thursday, March 13 at 6:30 p.m., prior to its regular meeting. Mayor Swearingen and all council members were present along with approximately 20 concerned citizens. 

Eric Hefner, engineer with Bolten & Menk, started the hearing by giving everyone an overview of the proposed street project. The project would include work on 2nd St. from 6th Ave.- 8th Ave., 5th St. from 5th Ave. – 7th Ave., 4th St. from 6th Ave. – 8th Ave., and a portion of 7th Ave. that was torn up due to a water main break this year.

Tuesday, 18 March 2014 20:25

News Briefs/Notices

LeSueur River Watershed meeting Monday in Waldorf

The LeSueur River Watershed Network is sponsoring a potluck followed by a meeting to discuss the future of the watershed group on Monday, March 24 from 5:30 p.m. to 8:30 p.m. at the Waldorf Community Center in Waldorf. The public is invited to this free event to join the conversation about the newly forming LeSueur River watershed group and to share a meal with watershed neighbors.

Tuesday, 18 March 2014 20:21

Wagner a finalist for Miss Basketball

NRHEG senior Carlie Wagner has been named a finalist for the 2014 Minnesota Miss Basketball Award.

The winner will be announced at the All-Star Series on Saturday, April 26 at Carleton College in Northfield.  The other finalists are Kenisha Bell, Bloomington Kennedy; Chase Coley, Minneapolis Washburn; Cayla McMorris, Park Center; Breanna Rasmussen, Fergus Falls.

Tuesday, 18 March 2014 20:20

For NRHEG girls, it’s a three-peat

Defending champs return to the big show for third year in a row

STICK LIKE GLUE — Jade Schultz, left, and Carlie Wagner disrupt the Norwood-Young America offense during the Section 2AA title game at Mankato Friday, March 14. (Star Eagle photo by Chris Schlaak)


By DALE KUGATH

Sportswriter

MANKATO – The New Richland-Hartland-Ellendale-Geneva girls’ basketball team’s coaching staff were hoping for a fast start in Friday’s Section 2AA championship game. 

The Panthers did not disappoint them. NRHEG raced to a 25-2 lead to start the game and cruised to an easy 70-36 triumph over the Norwood-Young America Raiders to capture its third straight section title and earn a shot at defending its state championship from a year ago. 

NYA, which had won 16 of its last 17 games, finished its season with a 21-6 record. 

NRHEG improved to 28-0 this year, winning its 58th straight game over the last two years. 

Tuesday, 18 March 2014 20:10

In some ways, history does repeat itself

It’s disappointing how few people make an effort to be part of heritage groups, though I do see more interest than in the past. Maybe age has something to do with it, but many people have developed an interest in things from those "good old days." 

As I have said before, history was not my favorite subject in school, but it has become more interesting to me later in my life.

When stories about days of old are included in the paper, they are of interest to me, and I hope that they are for others too. Some stories of the "good old days" make me glad I’m living now instead of then. Many who think things are hard now, I wish would have really lived in tougher times. Maybe then they would really appreciate all they have. 

It is surprising to think how things have changed recently, let alone since the early 1900s. 

My mother used to cry when someone older died because she said, "There went a bit of history." I remember she had a particular fondness for Mrs. Lemack Johnson because of the stories she told about her childhood, which coincided with that of my Grandma Schember, one of her best friends. She often talked about stories relating to Highway 30. 

My mother also remembers Grandma talking about Mrs. Gilma Olson. At St. Olaf Lake where my parents lived for many years, we learned many stories about the "Four Corners at St. Olaf Lake" and its surrounding territory. My mother always wished she had asked more questions, but she still learned much about the history of St. Olaf Lake from those three great ladies. 

Seems impossible, but true, that Indians came through on the bluffs east of the lake every spring and fall - just about where my nephew Cameron’s house now stands. Back then those three girls camped out in tents by the lake during the summer and slid in snow down the big hill in the winter. My Grandma often talked about when Highway 30 was changed from its original location. That "neck of the woods" was pretty much an Irish Catholic settlement and most of the people who lived there were related. 

I also found it interesting that Mrs. Johnson’s dad walked from Iowa to Waseca to file for homestead on the farm where they were later to live their entire life. He walked because he felt it would be too hard on the family oxen to travel so far.

The Verplank school also served as a landmark for the New Richland area and the Verplank diary is a gold mine of history from that time period.

Recently, while talking with Marvel Beiser about the plans the Clarks Grove Heritage Society are making to build a museum, it has been interesting to look through two history books about the area. Records about the Village of Clarks Grove and the Baptist Church contained a great deal about the early history. I am sure this was typical of all the churches that sprung up during those early years. 

I wish we had the commitment and loyalty for church today like the early settlers did. So many things now compete for our time. Church was once a time of rest, reverence and respect for the Lord’s Day. That is no longer true. Many use the day to catch up before the next week arrives.

Strange fact – there were fewer bugs in the olden days except for potato bugs. The early settlers experienced some blizzard conditions back then that would rival what we have experienced this year. We are more fortunate than the early settlers because we are because we are better equipped for the cold and snow. People then had to prepare for winter and cut wood that would be used to heat their homes. They also did not have the large machinery that we have now to move all the snow. 

It seems incredible that my Grandma and Grandpa Hanson, and even my mother and dad, had such different experiences then we do today. Can kids today with a cell phone in their pockets even realize that not that long ago there was only one telephone in the entire village of Clarks Grove? Now most homes have at least one phone, maybe even two, and many members of the family carry cell phones.

On to another subject, we always gave my grandmother static because she was so often inclined to go barefoot. Many during those early years went barefoot to save on "wear and tear" of their shoes. Imagine people walking barefoot to church or school and then putting on their shoes before entering. 

We never could quite comprehend what Grandma said when she told about how she and her brother, Hans, would share one pair of "good shoes." She said she felt guilty, but happy, when Hans stayed home from school to help with farm work, because that allowed her to wear the "good shoes" to school. School was like a gift of gold for her.

This was true of clothing in general - often kids borrowed each other’s clothes when it was time to go to church. The children would change off who got to wear the "good clothes" to church or school.

Back in those "good old days," ice was cut from Geneva Lake to be used at the creamery. The ice blocks were stored in a 20 x 30 shed and packed in sawdust to keep the milk cool during the hot summer days.

I've often shivered thinking about the "Polar Bear Dives" today. Would you believe that baptism at the Clarks Grove Baptist Church, back in those early days, was often held by chipping a hole in the ice on Geneva Lake. Surprising, one never heard of people getting sick or dying as a result.

And yet another interesting fact I learned about. The first licensed engineer in Minnesota, who was a lady, lived in Clarks Grove. She never went to school, but learned the language and how to read. She also learned to operate many of the different types of stationery engines too. 

Back in 1890 the people of Clarks Grove witnessed the start of the "Cooperative Movement." First they organized a co-op creamery, then a store, then the hardware and implement. Later the mercantile, the lumber yard and stock yard. Later still, the telephone company would be owned by the users.

At one time, during the years of 1898-1904, Clarks Grove had a grinding mill which was operated by windmill power and in 1901 one teacher taught 60 students, which were many different ages, all in one room. 

What goes around comes around? History repeats itself? In some ways, yes, and like all things in life there is always two sides to a coin - good and bad. Sometimes we can yearn for the simplicity of those olden years.

And that is one of the reasons we choose to live here.

Birthdays and anniversaries :

• Thursday, March 20: Jayda Moon, Tricia Renae Hanson, Nicole Christensen, Neva Lembke, Gary Reichl, Jim Butler, Tammy Harpel Nielsen, Winfred Bergdale, Shelly Hoeve, Billy Jo Johnson Schwierjohann, Dennis Olson

• Friday, March 21: Amy Foster, John Krell, Doris Krause, Trent Steven Pence, Kelly Marie Dobberstein, Phillip Ingvaldson, Pam Farr, Kent Paulson, Diane Marlin, Kelly Nelson, Doris Krause, Brody Grunwald, Darrell & Cindy Farr

• Saturday, March 22: National Goof Off Day! Gordy Carroll, Brenna Lynn Hagen, Shannon Johnson, Karin Lieberg, Bob Sommers, Leah Elaine Bergerson, Jerry Peterson, Nancy & Jerry Walterman, Dennis & Glenda Blouin

• Sunday, March 23: Chris Newgard, Penny Obermoller, Alan Edwardson, Troy Johnson, Troy Wagner, Jason Dwight, Alexi Jo Kitzer, Alex Dobberstein, Delaney Sue Vander Syde, Alexander James Thompson, Peter Bergerson, Chris Rutheford, Phyllis Anderson, Rick & Liz Wangsness

• Monday, March 24: Gail Ottesen, Seth Chad Staloch, Dave Meixner, Kurt Hanson, Laurie Phagan, Wes & Ruth Neidermeier, Angie & Cory Klemmensen, Tony & Sandra Tonsing, Lonna & Dean Broitzman

• Tuesday, March 25: Brad Hagen, Michelle Ritz, Pam Anderson, Faith Jensen, Tom Marlin, Trevor Loverink, Bernice Farr Mattson

• Wednesday, March 26: Amber Luella Theobald, Nikita Zelpha Peterson, Mary Lou Faldat, Jackie Draayer, David Hanson, Ray Coxworth, Lonnie Misgen, Ginger Cornelius, Dillon Hanson, Daryl Jensen, Duane Morreim, Amy Dobberstein, Marge Wobschall, Mary Lou Spurr, Gerrit & Jean Molenaar, Jeff & Robin Christensen, Jennifer & Matthew Dinneen

It is your special day. Get carried away.

Tuesday, 18 March 2014 20:10

Get on a bike and get back to nature

At times the world around us seems to be changing at a pace that some of us older folks might have a hard time keeping up with. Change is always inevitable but in this world of change some things remain constant; the excitement in a child’s eyes when they catch their first fish or see a deer standing at the edge of a forest. The wonders of nature still hold many mysteries for a child to explore that they won’t discover sitting in front of a computer or TV.  This is a world that we as adults can introduce them to through hunting, fishing or camping. Taking them on a long bike ride on one of the many trails that we have in this great state is a great way to get close to nature and the great outdoors.

As an adult I have never been a great bike enthusiast but I can see where it could be very enjoyable, not to mention a great way to exercise. What better way to get that close to the outdoors feeling than to ride a bike on a beautiful summer’s day. Can you see where I’m going with this? Welcome spring and summer!

As a kid growing up north of town I didn’t have the luxury of going from point A to point B in a car or SUV; my usual mode of transportation was walking or my trusty bike. As I grew older I was allowed to venture further away from the homestead on my bike and eventually take a trek to town or to a friend’s house a few miles away.

The first bike that I had was an old Schwinn that had belonged to my Uncle Lloyd. It was one that had come equipped with a headlight and I am sure it was the Rolls Royce of bikes in its day. At the time I was actually too small to ride it and it was pretty rusty which must have curbed my enthusiasm to try riding it. I never did ride that bike much but looking back it would probably bring a good price on American Pickers. On one of my birthdays I finally got a bike that I could ride, a brand new Coast-to-Coast bike that was shiny new and just my size. I had to learn to ride a bike on the grass in my yard and on the gravel road that ran alongside our house because I was forbidden to ride on the blacktop.

As I grew older I was eventually allowed to ride it to town. On one of my trips I had stopped at Russell’s Toyland to check out the latest race cars and Army men and when I came out someone had stolen it! I was devastated to say the least but after a few days it was found by someone and turned in to the Police Station. Whoever had taken it took the time to slash the tires before dumping it in the lake. For a naive country boy who was surrounded with kids that always respected one another’s property this was a serious blow to my trust in human nature. Those darned city kids anyway!

Getting back to the fun of bike riding it was a way of being independent and opened up a whole new world. I can’t remember how many times I would ride to my friend Jim Foleys place and spend a Saturday playing in the hay barn or exploring some nearby woods or creek. This was indeed a great way to spend a day and thanks to my bike I felt like I could go just about any place that I wanted to. Hammer Road was gravel at the time so that was always a little challenging if you happened to hit a mound of loose gravel.

Having a bike to ride to town opened up a whole new outdoors world for me. I would grab my fishing pole, put a small container of sinkers and hooks in my pocket and dig some earth worms for bait. An old Buss fuse box would usually hold enough hooks and sinkers to last the day. I would carry the worms in an old tin can and with nail and hammer I’d put a hole on opposite sides so that I could make a handle with a piece of baling wire so that it would fit over my handle bars.

I don’t know how many times that I came home with my prized stringer of dead bullheads and sunfish in tow. My mother would roll her eyes when she saw the stringer but would clean the fish with me after making sure that we only kept the “fresh” ones. The rest of them were buried in the garden in the back yard. I can remember how proud I felt when riding along Bridge Avenue with a stringer of bullheads dangling from the handle bars. I eventually figured out that keeping those fish wasn’t as much fun as catching them and releasing them for another time. Those were just simpler times with kids making their own fun with what they had available to them. What we had available to us back then was what nature has given us and the challenge to use our imagination. For as much as things are different today we still have plenty of opportunities to step away from all of our electronic toys and take a little time to enjoy our natural resources. We really do need to pause and spend a little quality outdoors time with our youth because they hold the future of the outdoors in their hands.

Until next time, get out and enjoy the outdoors and start making a few memories of your own.

Please remember to keep our troops in your thoughts and prayers because they are the reason we are able to enjoy all the freedoms that we have today.


Tuesday, 18 March 2014 20:08

And the good neighbor award goes to...

Echoes from the Loafers’ Club Meeting

You are always in a bad mood.

I tried being in a good mood once.

What happened?

It put me in a bad mood.

Driving by the Bruces

 I have two wonderful neighbors — both named Bruce — who live across the road from each other. Whenever I pass their driveways, thoughts occur to me, such as: life goes by so quickly that it's a wonder anyone has time to grow old.

The news from Hartland

• Technicolored Sardines, a tropical fish store, opens.

• Judge sentences chronic jaywalker to serve jail time online.

• Square dancing club presents the war of the whirls.

Chicago

I flew to Chicago for work without once flapping my arms.

I used my see-through suitcase. If I can't see it, I know I’ve forgotten it.

I folded into a small seat. I became a human origami. I wondered if those in first class were headed to the same place. The plane was packed.

I can go anywhere as long as I remember where I’m from.

The yellow rows of taxis outside the airport have become rainbow-colored.

Parking in Chicago was terrible. It was like finding a noodle in haystack. It took me forever to locate a parking place. I was happy I didn't have a car. Car owners shoveled their parked cars free of snow. When they moved the cars, it’s a tradition to place lawn furniture, tables, chairs, or laundry baskets in the parking space to hold the spot. This practice of marking a claimed spot is called "dibs." 

Chicago reminded me what horns are for. There was incessant honking and beeping at drivers who were either too cautious or too daring.

I dined with friends at the original Lou Malnati’s pizzeria in Lincolnwood. The iconic restaurant served me Chicago-style deep-dish pizza. I felt at home. On the wall next to my table was a framed Minnesota Twin uniform signed by Harmon Killebrew.

When shaving cream attacks

The rooster had not yet crowed. It was well before 5 a.m. I was trying to shave in front of a hotel mirror that was far too short for me to see my face if I stood upright. I had to stoop over. I pushed the top of a pressurized can of shaving cream. Half the lather shot out. I know what you’re thinking. How old was that shaving cream? I don't know for sure, but the eighties made some great shaving cream. Its age wasn't the problem. The problem was trying to get the unused lather back into the can.

Pushing the pumpkin down the court

The girls basketball game between the Waterville Buccaneers and the New Richland–Hartland-Ellendale-Geneva Panthers was at Minnesota State University, Mankato. The public address announcer tried to turn the local team into the New Hartland–Richland–Ellendale-Geneva Buccaneers, an idea that would find no support. The Waterville fans presented a gigantic head of their head coach. It wasn’t his real head. It was a cardboard replica much larger than his real noggin. I liked basketball better when a player called for a foul, raised his or her hand. I don’t know when that stopped. The Panthers emerged victorious and when I walked outside after the game, something odd happened. No, I wasn't abducted by space aliens and subjected to painful probes. What happened was that as I walked to the car, I noticed that I couldn't see my breath. It was too warm. It was a nice night.

Another night

The defending state champion NRHEG girls won their next game. That meant they were returning to the state tournament. The game was never seriously in doubt. The highlight for me was that two of my granddaughters were able to have their photos taken with the Panther hoopsters. That was better than weather so warm that I couldn’t see my breath.

The Hartland Herald

If I had a good neighbor award to give, I’d give it to the Jim and Julie Knutson family. They epitomize the term "good neighbors" in many ways and they keep my drive cleared of snow. There are few more beautiful winter sights in Minnesota than a plowed road. I'm never sure which Knutson is doing the task as they wear winter disguises.

Thanks to all who attended or volunteered at Groove 4 Food for the NR Area Food Shelf. You made the world a better place.

I enjoyed watching Zach Wessels play for Austin in the boys state basketball tournament. Zach is the grandson of Ole and Connie Smidt, former residents of Hartland. It’s a treat watching the Wagner sisters play for NRHEG. They are the grandchildren of long-time Hartland residents, John and Joie Somage.

Did you know?

• The U.S. urban population surpassed the rural in the 1920 Census.

• Only 17 percent of Americans currently contribute to an IRA.

Nature notes

"Why don't I ever see dead squirrels? Is there a squirrel graveyard?" I often see dead squirrels on the roads. Sick or injured squirrels likely crawl to secluded spots to die. Squirrels are easily consumed or dragged away by scavengers. There is no squirrel graveyard.

Meeting adjourned

Running down others brings no praise to you. Be kind.

Tuesday, 18 March 2014 20:06

Are you a wimp?

True to its slogan, March “came in like a lion.” Hopefully it will fulfill the rest of its slogan, “out like a lamb.”

With winter well over half gone and now daylight savings time, maybe those of you with cabin fever (better known as “wimps”) will once again be part of the “Minnesota Nice” population.

When you’re dealt a lemon, you make lemonade. When a “non-wimp” Minnesotan is dealt lots of snow and cold weather, they take advantage of it.

For example, a fifty-foot-tall snowman was built near Gilman, Minn. The nose was a fifty-five gallon drum. This snowman was shown on all the TV news networks plus many of the morning TV shows.

Gilman is a small town just west of Milaca, Minn., about the size of Hartland. It is like so many other great small towns – you have to have a reason to go there to find it.

Another example is the ice fishing contest on Gull Lake by Brainerd, Minn. The attendance was 10,000 – all “non-wimps.” Of course, this event was on national TV.

Just before you got to Gull Lake along Highway 371 was a handmade sign about 4’ x 6’ stuck in a snow bank reading “Girl Scout Cookies for sale.” The Girl Scouts sold cookies right at the scene during daylight hours. (One Scout remarked that tips were very good!)

Another example was students from a northern Minnesota high school taking fish houses of the lake to the tune of $10.00 per hour – no guarantee as to the condition of the fish house when they brought it to shore. They used John Deere power, muscle power, brain power, and feminine power to exceed their goal of $10,000 and no broken bones.

Another example was the four young girls and four young guys in this area in two minivans. The girls would drive by your house and decide if you needed snow removed from your roof and how much the charge would be to remove about three feet back from the roof overhang. If you agreed, they collected cash and the guys would remove it. I agreed, they collected fifty dollars, and the guys removed the snow. When the guys jumped into a snow bank upon finishing, I asked what they were going to do with the money. In unison they replied, “Prom, man!”

My definition of a “wimp” is a Minnesotan who stays in Minnesota all winter and moans about it. A Minnesotan who goes south for the winter is not a wimp. That person is one sharp Minnesotan. I am neither a wimp nor a sharp Minnesotan.

———

Bob is a retired AAL (Aid Association for Lutherans) agent, currently working on his master’s degree in Volunteering. His wife, Genie, is a retired RN, currently working on her doctor’s degree in Volunteering. They have two children, Deb in North Carolina, and Dan in Vermont. Bob says if you enjoy his column, let him know. If you don’t enjoy it, keep on reading, it can get worse. Words of wisdom: There is always room for God.

Tuesday, 18 March 2014 20:02

Some truths are not easy to swallow

Earlier this school year, I had a fellow staff member ask me if I wouldn’t write a column about medication and our students. I said I’d keep it in mind, and the time has come to grant that request!

It seems there are more and more students who are on some form of medication these days. There are all manner of reasons for this, most of them dealing with some form of Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder (ADHD). NBC News just reported that some studies show that 11% of all US children have a prescription for ADHD. And that number is climbing.

There is a lot of speculation on why this number is growing all the time, with much of the guessing trying to tie this into electronics and the great amount of time spent before them. However, some studies have also shown a 53% growth in adults taking these drugs. For so many of them, it’s a matter of, “Oh, that’s what’s been bothering me all these years!” Let’s face it; I don’t remember many kids being diagnosed with ADHD growing up. They were just labeled as hyperactive and they would grow out of it.

Getting a diagnosis for your child is a tough step. As parents, we want what is best for our kids, but it’s very difficult to take a step down that path because it’s almost like admitting your child is flawed. I’ve seen a lot of parents struggle with this decision. Honestly, nobody wants to medicate their child. So many people have told me that it hurts to have to “drug them up.”

On the other hand, I’ve heard from former students and from parents of students that pre-medication, some of these kids are suffering silently. They may act out a lot, and the hope is they’ll “grow out of it” without needing drugs. But many of these kids describe the difference once they are on meds as coming out of a claustrophobic tiny box into bright sunshine and open fields of green grass. Imagine being in that box all the time – wouldn’t you act out, trying to escape?

Many students I teach lose focus; it’s part of the age. However, it’s become easier and easier to pinpoint those who are just daydreaming and those that can’t focus for more than the attention span of a goldfish without a superior effort. It’s no fault of their own; that’s just how their brains function. I’ve seen some amazing success stories of kids who were trouble and not doing well in school and then turning it around because they were out of their confinement and breathing fresh air (well, as fresh as air gets in middle school).

It also becomes apparent when a child who’s normally on medication suddenly isn’t. It’s a completely different person in front of you. I’ve had students who are generally well-behaved and get their work done suddenly turn into wild beasts who are disrespectful and defiant, all because they didn’t take that little pill.

Again, I can sympathize with the difficulty as a parent to take this step with children. However, there really is no stigma with being ADHD. In fact, it can help the student get some more help at school through a 504 Plan. I don’t see kids make fun of others because they have to take their medicine. I do see them shun those who can’t be a part of a civilized group without disruption.

It’s difficult too to get the dosage right, and it changes as the child grows and goes through puberty. We’re very understanding of that, and many parents ask us to keep an eye on things as dosages are adjusted so we can help pinpoint the right amount. We’re happy to help if it means the student can learn at an optimal level.

It’s disappointing when a child has a diagnosis and parents can’t keep to the responsibility to make sure the child takes the medication every day. Kids can be forgetful, but parents should not be on a continuous basis. We see more and more of this, and it’s disappointing that some kids miss out on a good education because of it. Sometimes there are health insurance issues, but these can be overcome with some effort.

All our staff want what’s best for the students. Sometimes it’s not an easy truth to swallow, but swallowing that little pill can make a huge difference in finding a path to success.

Word of the Week: This week’s word is polyphiloprogenitive, which means extremely prolific, as in, “The number of medications in the nurse’s office was polyphiloprogenitive, and Gratia could hardly keep track of them all.” Impress your friends and confuse your enemies!

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