My Life as Jessica (33)
I’ve never really made New Year’s resolutions in the past. I didn’t think they were necessary, or I didn’t want to/couldn’t follow through with them. Until this year, that is.
I’ve been getting the overwhelming urge to make life changes lately. I realized the universe isn’t just going to hand me happiness and success; I’ve got to make it for myself. So I came up with some ideas in order to ensure I have my best year so far.
First of all, I am going to focus more on my own happiness. My whole life, I do everything with consideration for what other people will think or feel about it.
In doing so, I’ve ended up getting the short end of the stick in most situations. I’m going to change that.
I don’t mean I’m going to stop caring about others; I’m just going to put my own happiness first when it’s appropriate. I’m going to focus on my own life, work toward goals, and do what I can to make my life the best that I can.
My second resolution is to switch to electronic cigarettes. I’ve had them for a few months now, but I haven’t committed to the switch yet. I keep coming up with excuses, but that’s got to stop, too.
I’ve been smoking for a little less than three years now, and the sooner I quit, the better. Although e-cigs do have nicotine, they don’t contain any of the harsh chemicals or additives that cigarettes do, and they don’t use real smoke — just water vapor. They’re so much healthier for you, they aren’t obtrusive to others, and they can be used pretty much anywhere.
Third, I’m going to try my best to stop procrastinating. I know I probably won’t be able to completely quit that habit, but I’m going to work at it. Procrastination has been my downfall since middle school, and if I can overcome that, I’ll get so many more things done.
Last, I plan on being more responsible and organized. That means actually following through with plans/promises, being more reliable, keeping things clean (like my car, room and desk), better time and money management, and figuring out what my priorities are.
I realize that’s quite the list to accomplish, but I’m going to do my best to follow through with the majority of my resolutions. This is my last year of being a teenager.
Soon I’ll have more work and responsibilities than I ever imagined, and I’ve got to be ready for that. The best way for me to do that is to start preparing myself now, so that when that time does come, I’ll be ready.
I want to be a positive change in someone’s life. I want to make a change on the world. I don’t exactly know how I’m going to accomplish that yet, but I think starting with the local newspaper is a pretty good way to start.
I just want to say (again!) thank you so much for your positive feedback on my columns/articles. It really means the world to me to know the people reading my work don’t think it’s terrible.
I appreciate the people who take time out of their day to read what I wrote; it’s what motivates me to keep doing what I am, and to keep moving forward and working towards something even bigger.
I hope you all had a safe and fun holiday season, and I look forward to another year of interacting with and informing the community. Thanks again everyone; until next time.
Dear Billy,
It’s been six months already. I still have trouble believing it.
I miss you. And it’s really hard some days.
I just want to call you to hang out and talk and cheer me up like you always did, without fail. But I can’t, no matter how much I want to. And that makes me sad.
I see Gina all the time at Kwik Trip in Mankato. She’s really sweet; I’m glad she doesn’t hate me anymore! But then again, her first impression of me was when I was 16 and obnoxious. I probably wouldn’t have liked me either, honestly.
But you did. No matter where we lived or how long it had been since we saw each other, we could meet up and it would be like we just saw each other the day before.
I could literally talk to you about anything. That’s one of the things I love about you, Billy. You never judged me; you were honest with me, and if I did something wrong or something to upset you, you’d tell me.
Do you remember the funeral that you, Jas, Zach and I had for the mouse that got caught in the trap? Nobody would put it in the water (even after you said to just, “Dip it in like an ice cream cone from Dairy Queen”), so you threw it in.
It was so funny. “I did it, y’all didn’t, don’t take credit!”
Or all the times we had “parties” with Jas, Taylor, Heidi, Patty, Will, Zach, Bryan, Ashley. . . Such as the one where you and Alex broke the shed door, the light got broken, and you, Jas and Julie drank all of my mom’s Mountain Dew? She was so mad!
You and Zach were determined to climb off the roof just to avoid her. It didn’t exactly help that she came home to a living room full of sleeping teenagers, though.
Or the time when you, Jas, Patty, Zach and I went to the beach in Elysian even though it was storming like crazy? We ran around on the beach in the pouring rain.
I fell (of course), you laughed from the picnic bench, and you and Jasmine never let me live that one down. But then the tornado sirens went off, so you, Zach and Patty took your car and Jasmine and I took mine to Wayside (the rest stop in Elysian) to wait out the storm.
We were stuck in there for what seemed like forever, even though it was only about two hours. We played truth or dare, and Jasmine and I dried our hair and clothes with the hand dryers while you and Patty flushed toilet paper from the roll down the toilet to see if it would keep going. It did.
Then when the weather cleared up, we all drove to my mom’s house, saw two rainbows on the way, and watched movies and passed out in the early morning hours, like we did on so many different nights.
I can’t even count all the times I met up with you at the beach in Elysian after you got off work at Culver’s. We would just sit on the trunk of your car with your duck blanket, listening to your iPod Touch, talking and staring out onto the perfectly calm lake, enjoying the warm summer nights. Sometimes other people would join us; a couple times we went swimming, and once we found a frog that you were determined to catch.
One of the funniest memories, though, was at my party when you and Casey decided to see who could smoke a Marlboro Red the fastest. It made you sick, so you ran across the shed, tripped on a tire, and sprained your ankle (although you thought it was broken).
The next day, you drove home with your left foot (which I still think is hilarious), and when you got home you called me and asked me to meet you at the emergency room in Waseca.
I drove and met you there, and we waited for over an hour for them to tell you your ankle was sprained and give you a pair of crutches. Then we went to Mankato, and you let me use your crutches in Wal-Mart because you hated them.
When we got back to your house and I was about to leave for Jasmine’s, I asked you for some freezies, so you tried to throw them in my sunroof. You missed (horribly, might I add), and I ended up running one of them over. You goon!
I just want you to know that I think about you every day. Every day I miss you, so you better be having fun up there!
Keep watching over all of us who love and miss you. And don’t worry, I’ll be partying on the “end of the world” and wishing you were there with me.
You would love the people I hang out with now. I wish you would’ve had the chance to meet them.
I love you, Billy. I always will. And I’m so looking forward to the day I get to see you again.
With Love,
Jessica
Although it’s not quite Thanksgiving yet, there isn’t just one day out of the year that I’m thankful for all of my blessings — I try to do that every day (try being the key term here). It’s tough to narrow down what I’m most thankful for, but when thinking, there are several things that stand out. I decided to make a list of the eight things in my life I’m most thankful for:
• Most of all, I’m thankful to be here: alive, healthy, and happy. I’ve got a warm house that I don’t have to pay rent for, plenty of food, clothes, and a car to get me where I need to go, which is more than a lot of people can say for themselves.
• My family. Even though they drive me crazy half the time, I love them, and their love and support are a big part of what keeps me going every day. I don’t show it enough, especially to my brothers, but I really do appreciate a family that loves me.
• My parents. The lessons they taught and the morals they instilled in me when I was young are a huge part of who I am today. I’m not the most pleasant person sometimes (hard to believe, I know), but they’ve done their best to stand by me and support me no matter what. I don’t tell them this enough, but I genuinely appreciate everything they have done and continue to do for me.
• My friends. I’m not the kind of person who likes to be alone for too long, so seeing my friends is something I’ve done as much as possible ever since I got my license. My friends are some of the most important people in my life — I wouldn’t be who I am today without them.
I’ve drifted from a lot of my older friends, but I haven’t forgotten any of them or the memories we made together. They all have a special place in my heart.
• My boyfriend, Lucas. We’ve only been dating for about two and a half months, but I’ve known him since I was 15. We didn’t talk for a couple years from then to now, but I’ve always considered him one of my best friends.
We became really close again over the summer — I can count on one hand the number of days we didn’t hang out since last June. He’s pretty much amazing, though. Genuinely kind, honest, generous. . .
He’s so great to me, and I love him so much. Every time I see him I’m reminded of how lucky I am to have him in my life. He doesn’t realize how special he is, but I’m going to do my best to show him, because he’s already doing that for me.
• My job. Not only is it my source of income, but I get to do one of the things I’m both good at (or so I’ve been told) and love to do: write. Plus, I get to meet and interact with a lot of people, which I also enjoy. This job definitely isn’t boring, which is more than a lot of people can say about their jobs, so I’m pretty lucky.
• My pets. I have two cats at my dad’s house, and I adore them. They always greet me when I come home, and if I’m upset, one of them will come cuddle with me. They’ve got great personalities and add much entertainment and joy to my house.
It’s easy to get caught up in the festivities and sometimes stress of the holidays, but Thanksgiving is a good one to remind us that we just need to sit back, be with our loved ones, and realize just how blessed we really are.
I hope you can see what your life has been blessed with, and never forget to tell the ones you love how you feel about them.
It was Wednesday, November 7th. The sun hadn’t even started to peek through the sky as I woke up at 6:30, and the first thought on my mind was, “I wonder who our President is?”
This year was the first I was legally allowed to vote, and I almost didn’t. I wasn’t registered, the address on my license isn’t current, and I almost let my laziness take over and skipped the polling booth. Thankfully, I didn’t.
It’s nice to know the changes that have already occurred and have yet to happen were in part, even if it was just one very tiny part, because of my effort.
I don’t really remember previous elections very well; I wasn’t allowed to vote yet, so it didn’t seem important enough to spend time looking into for me. All I know about previous presidents is what I’ve heard from other people — for example, I know George Bush royally screwed up, but I’m not exactly sure why, even today.
It’s times like these when I like to take a step back and observe what I’m doing in my life today. After all, it’s the only one that I have complete control over.
Every day I’m learning more and more about who I actually am, and it’s quite an experience for me. I’m learning what my actual opinions are on things, what my morals are, and I’m exploring the realms of my intelligence, and hopefully making progress all the while.
To answer the question that wouldn’t stop nagging my sleepy mind, I looked at Facebook, the fastest way (for me) to get information on important current events. In less than 30 seconds, I learned that Obama won, the marriage amendment lost, the voter ID amendment lost, and Colorado and Washington legalized marijuana for recreational use.
I was ecstatic about the marriage amendment and about Obama’s victory. There were many outraged people about both. It’s going to take a while for many people to accept it, and some never will — that’s just the way the world works.
I saw a promotional photo about Obama the other day. On it was a picture of George Bush with a caption that read, “It took this guy eight years to mess up our country,” and then a picture of Obama that read, “I’m giving this guy eight years to clean it up.” Of course he isn’t perfect, but he’s done a lot for our country, and he’s going to do a lot more before he leaves the White House. I see hope in our future, which is all I can ask for.
Agree or not, I’m just trying to fight the good fight
Written by Jim LutgensThis year, there are many very controversial things that will appear on the ballot in November. I’d like to take this opportunity to tell you all why I’m voting and what I’ll be voting for.
The first topic, which I feel most strongly about, is the marriage amendment. I will be voting no. I could write a novel about why I’m against banning gay marriage, but I’ll stick to the basics here so as not to offend.
Don’t like gay marriage? Don’t get gay married. It’s as simple as that.
Forty years ago, there were people fighting against a different minority: African Americans, and their right to live as white people do. Forty years from now, what will people say when they look back?
The second topic is voter ID. I will also be voting no on this, and any taxpayer who doesn’t want more money taken out of their hard-earned paychecks than already is should follow suit. This amendment is so ridiculous I can’t even believe it made it this far.
It’s going to cost every county in Minnesota hundreds of thousands of dollars, and for what? To make a person show photo identification before they are allowed to vote.
Not only will this lower voter turnout by making the voting process more costly and difficult, but it affects everyone, because everyone who pays taxes will be shelling out for years to come.
As for who I think should run our country, I honestly don’t know if any one person could do a good job. But I know who I’m not voting for: Mitt Romney. I’m not a Republican, I don’t agree with his views, and I wouldn’t feel comfortable living in a country that’s run by a man like him.
Politics aren’t really my cup of tea; in fact, I try and stay as far away from them as possible. However, the issues listed above are ones I feel very strongly about. After all, we’re all entitled to our opinion.
I know a lot of people don’t agree with mine, especially in a conservative town, but sometimes opening your mind and putting yourself in someone else’s shoes is exactly what needs to be done.
I know I’m young and I’ve got a lot of the world left to see. But it amazes me sometimes at how immature some adults can be, even those much older than myself.
Each day that goes by is another day of learning. I’m just getting out of the gate, and yet I’m mature enough to put my pride aside and look at things through another person’s eyes when it needs to be done.
Why can’t the people who I’m supposed to look up to and learn from do the same? I guess there are just some things in this world I’ll never understand, no matter how many years of experience I have under my belt.
I encourage you to fight for what you believe in, but don’t be ignorant, either. It’s O.K. to be wrong, and it’s O.K. to admit when you are.
Mistakes are natural; they’re a way to learn. Open your mind, open your eyes, and look at the world around you.
Is it the kind of world you want to be living in? You have the ability to change it, to make it better.
But you’ve got to make yourself better, too. Is the person you see staring back at you in the mirror every day someone you’re proud of?
You have the ability to change yourself, as well. Make yourself into the person you’ve always wanted to be, fight for the things you feel strongly about, and most importantly, be kind to those around you while you do.
Today as I was driving on back roads throughout the countryside to drop off inserts for the paper in Wells, I let my mind wander, as it usually does when I’m driving. I got to thinking about past years and what my life used to be like when I was 15, 16, and 17.
When I got back home, I decided to make a list of all the different bands I’ve seen in concert. It took me almost an hour to make the whole list; partly because I had to go through old Facebook posts in order to compile the list.
I was looking through posts from 2009 and 2010 when I started to think about just how much my life has changed since then. I have a whole new group of friends I hang out with every day, I’ve got different interests and hobbies, and I’ve grown up a lot.
This really isn’t where I expected to be at this point in my life, but I’m happy and doing well, and that’s more than I could’ve ever asked for.
I used to go to many more concerts when I was younger, which is kind of strange, because I didn’t have a license then. My dad was great about taking my friends and me to shows, and I’m so glad he did because some of my best memories were at concerts.
The first show I went to was in 2006. I was 12, and my dad had two tickets to see Bruce Springsteen at the Xcel Energy Center. He was going to take a friend, but they were unable to go, so I did instead. I didn’t really know any of the songs, but it was an incredible experience that sparked my interest in concerts.
The second one was also in 2006 at the Target Center. My dad had bought two tickets to The Who, but he was sick and couldn’t attend, so my mom and I went.
After that, I couldn’t get enough. The following spring, I convinced my dad to buy me tickets to see Fall Out Boy, Cobra Starship, +44, and The Academy Is... on the Honda Civic Tour at the Target Center. I brought my best friend, Jasmine, and my mom drove us there and stayed with us during the show (which she later admitted she actually enjoyed).
During the last song of their set, Fall Out Boy’s front man told everyone in the stands to go down onto the main floor (if they desired). Jasmine and I did, obviously, and it was like a completely different world than it was in the stands. The people, the lights, being that close to a band that you love — there’s really no way to describe it. It was something I’ll never forget.
All in all, I’ve seen 38 bands live since I was 12, which is pretty impressive considering that’s only seven years ago. The list, which took me almost two hours to come up with, includes: Bruce Springsteen, The Who, Fall Out Boy (four times), Cobra Starship (two times), +44, The Academy Is.., Gym Glass Heroes, Plain White Tees, Cute is What We Aim For, Panic! at the Disco (two times), The Hush Sound, Phantom Planet, Motion City Soundtrack, Steely Dan, All Time Low, Metro Station, Hey Monday, Blink-182, Chester French, Hollywood Undead, Atreyu, Papa Roach, Avenged Sevenfold, Flyleaf, Buckcherry, Breaking Benjamin, Three Days Grace, A Day to Remember, We Came as Romans, Pierce the Veil (two times), Bring Me The Horizon, My Chemical Romance, Neon Trees, The Architects, Woe is Me, Miss May I, Marilyn Manson, and Rob Zombie.
I’m getting all nostalgic again just reading through that list and remembering the amazing times I had. I plan on seeing many more bands throughout the rest of my years; music has always been a passion of mine.
It has helped me get through some really hard times. I don’t know why, or how to describe it, really. Music has just always been really important to me. Like when you hear a really good song by one of your favorite bands, and you almost get chills and this overwhelming sense of love for the band and the people in it.
Those band members spent a lot of time and money putting that together for you and their other fans. Imagine that, but times 100. That’s what a concert is like, to me.
Until next time, readers. I have to add that I am still pretty sore from the accident but I’m still O.K.; thank you to everyone who has shown their concern. I hope you all have something in your lives that you’re truly passionate about, because if not, you’re not truly living.
Recently, I was in a pretty severe car accident, as some of you may know if you happen to have me as a friend on Facebook. Thankfully I’m O.K., just a little sore.
My dad’s vehicle, unfortunately, isn’t. The insurance company declared it totaled, and if you’d like to see just how much damage I did, there are pictures on my Facebook page.
My dad asked me the day after it happened, “So, did you learn anything?” And as much as I hate to admit it, the accident was completely my fault, and I did learn a lot from it. I realized that the longer I’ve had my license, the more careless I got with my driving. That has changed, however.
Jumping over a gravel road, flying in the air for 30 feet and running over a tree was not what I had planned on doing that Tuesday, and it was definitely the scariest moment of my life so far. Getting a speeding ticket last spring has caused me to drive the speed limit, and this accident has made me a much more careful driver. I guess sometimes learning the hard way is the only way to actually make a change, especially for young people like myself.
One of the biggest reasons I’m alive right now, though, is because I was wearing my seatbelt. There are people who refuse to wear them, and claim that they hurt more than help in accidents.
I will always believe that wearing your seatbelt is the biggest way to ensure your safety when driving. If I hadn’t been wearing mine, I probably would’ve gone through the windshield; at the very least, I’d be in a lot worse shape than I am now.
I would like to thank all the people who’ve expressed concern on my behalf, as well. It’s good to know that people out there actually care about my wellbeing.
That night my dad allowed me to go to a concert I was planning on attending with my boyfriend, Lucas, and some of our friends, and I’m so glad I went.
I was never really a fan of Marilyn Manson or Rob Zombie, and their music isn’t exactly my style, but it was an amazing show.
I’ve been to so many concerts I’ve lost count, and this one was by far the best I’ve seen. The artists went all out in making it entertaining for the crowd, instead of just playing their songs and being done.
Manson performed in a different outfit for each song, and there were different props and such on the stage for each song, too. Zombie was amazing; he interacted with the crowd, had a ton of energy, and overall performed outstandingly.
What still boggles my mind is why they chose to play in Mankato instead of the Twin Cities, but I’m glad they did.
What I’m most thankful for, though, is that I was still around to attend the concert. I must have someone watching over me, or I wouldn’t have made it out of that in the healthy condition I did.
Until next time, readers; I’m working on making these a little more regular, so bear with me.
Lately, when I go to local business and see familiar people, I’ve been asked the same question, “So, what are you doing now? Are you going to school?”
Right now, I’m working full-time at the Star Eagle, which may or may not be obvious by the amount of material I’ve had in the past few issues of the paper. I’m planning on going back to MSU in Mankato, where I did a semester of post-secondary last year. I’m just not sure if it’ll be this winter or next fall.
The other thing people seem to want to know is what I plan on going into for a career. I’m still pretty undecided; there are a lot of things I’m interested in, but I just can’t figure out what I want to spend the rest of my life doing.
No matter what I choose, I’ll continue writing, because it’s kind of a passion of mine. As far as what I actually want to do, however, I still don’t know.
But that’s what these years are for, right? I’m 19 and still growing up; I don’t need to know what I want to do yet. This is the time for me to figure that part out.
I can honestly say I’m happy with how things are in my life right now, though. I hold a good job where I appear to be doing well.
I’ve got a new boyfriend as of about two weeks ago, and I’m finally realizing who my true friends are. I’m making memories I’ll never forget and sharing them with people who hopefully will be in my life for a long time.
The older I get, the more I realize the things adults told me as I was growing up are very true. Time does go by faster, responsibilities suck, and not trying to grow up too fast is essential.
I’m doing my best to enjoy this time of my life, because I know that soon enough I’m going to have to fully grow up — have a career, a family, that kind of thing. The thought of that is really scary, as I’m sure many of you remember. But, hopefully I’ll be prepared when that time does come.
I also want to take this opportunity to say, “Thank you,” to everyone who gives me feedback on my writing. Thankfully, it’s all been good, and you don’t even know how much I appreciate it.
It’s really flattering to know that people actually enjoy reading what I write. I know I’ve given this rant before, but it’s true.
I apologize for the short column this week, but you can definitely expect more consistent updates in the near future. I’ve got the creativity wheels turning in my head, and I have a lot of ideas that are just begging to be written down.
Until next time, loyal readers — have a great week, stay safe and take the time to enjoy life.
P.S. Please do your best to ignore the picture on the title of this column; I’ve been asking for a new one for a while with no success. Whoever decided to put my school picture that more resembles a mug shot did not run it by me first, but I’m working on changing it.
Editor’s note: any and all plans announced in this column are subject to change
Last week, I experienced something I don’t think I’ll ever forget.
I was grocery shopping at Wagner’s in town, and when I returned to my car, an older gentleman pointed out my rear right tire was flat. My tires had been leaking for a while, so I didn’t think much of it. I thanked him for pointing it out and headed to One Stop to refill it.
Once I got there and put the air in my tire, it was obvious it wasn’t going to hold — it was leaking faster than I could fill it. I did the first thing I thought to do: I called my dad.
“My tire’s not holding air,” I said as soon as he answered.
“What?” he asked, apparently not understanding the statement (sorry Dad, I had to).
“The rear right tire,” I repeated, “is not holding air. I’m at One Stop.”
Also at the gas station at the time were about 15 bikers who looked to be about middle-aged. As I was telling my dad the situation, one of the bikers who overheard my conversation walked over to my car and started inspecting the tire, hearing the hiss of the air escaping the tube.
“Well, what do you want me to do about it?” I could hear my dad saying through the phone. “Do you need me to come up there?”
Then the man asked if I needed to go far, and I told him that I lived in town.
“No, it looks like someone’s helping me,” I replied. “I’ll call you back.”
The man kept inspecting the tire; he put some air in and watched it go flat again, and it was obvious he was trying to pinpoint the leak. He asked me to move my car forward a little bit, so I did, and he found it.
“Do they sell tire plug kits here?” he asked me, his hand on the hole in the tire.
I looked at him, bewildered. This stranger, who I’ve never met in my life, was going to help me plug the tire on my car?
“Um, I don’t know,” I said. “I’ll go check.”
It turned out they did indeed sell them there, and I bought one. At this point there were a few more men around my car, looking at the tire and chatting casually. I gave the kit to the guy who was originally helping me, and after two tries (it was a “crappy kit,” in his words), it finally held.
“Well, looks like you should be good to go,” he said. “At least until you get home.”
I thanked him over and over, not really sure how to react. He told me it wasn’t a problem; they weren’t going to just leave me stranded there. And as the group went on their way, they all waved at me and smiled.
I realized as I was driving home that I never got the man’s name, but what he did was probably the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me. It gives me faith in the human race: we’re not all so bad after all. It makes me so happy to know that there are still people willing to go out of their way to help someone in need, especially since he had no obligation to help me at all. He did it purely out of the kindness of his heart.
So, if any of you readers are the guy on the motorcycle who helped me plug my tire, I want to say thank you. You may not have thought it was a big deal, but it was to me. And I think everyone can learn a lesson from this: if you take the time to do something nice for someone, it usually means a lot more to them than you may think. Remember to think of others before yourself sometimes; after all, isn’t the Golden Rule, “Treat others how you want to be treated?” I try my best to live by that, and I think some other people should really consider it, too.
“The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.” – Unknown
Every time I sit down to write this column, I usually find my mind blank, and I feel very uninspired. The blank white page and the blinking cursor seem to be mocking me, laughing at the fact I have no idea what to write about. My mind is still slightly groggy from sleep. I’ve guzzled down a cup and a half of coffee, and still haven’t gotten very far.
Sometimes I like to look up inspirational quotes in hopes of finding one to spark some creativity, and in my search this morning I stumbled across the aforementioned quote: “The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.”
It stood out to me for some reason. I’m pretty sure it’s because of the not-so-ordinary lifestyle I’ve chosen. People who hear about my situation tend to be slightly confused, and with good reason. I’m 18, not graduated from high school yet, have a full-time job and pretty much take care of myself. I chose to grow up fast, and sometimes it’s overwhelming. The responsibility put on me is great, and I’m determined to prove to everyone I can handle it.
I’m sure we’ve all had that something we wanted to do that seemed almost impossible: chasing after your dreams, being the best at something, winning a contest, whatever it may be. Those things you’re so determined to be successful at, you know nothing is going to stop you from achieving it. Even if you’ve failed in the past, or the future doesn’t look very bright, my advice is this: never give up. It’s original, right? However cliché it may be, it’s some of the best advice I’ve ever received.
There’s no better feeling than achieving your goal after putting in long amounts of time working for it while people tell you, “There’s no way you’re going to do this.” My goal of making this whole “living on my own, taking online classes, keeping a full-time job and staying in a happy, year-long relationship,” is something I’m determined to accomplish. I want to prove to everyone the past year and some odd months were just a small bump in the road of a happy, successful life.
Apart from being a struggle, my life has been going pretty great lately. I’m happy, I’ve got my future (kind of) planned out, and I’m going down a road I feel good about. My dad always used to tell me how time flies the older you get, and I hadn’t really noticed until now. But now life is coming at me full force, and I’m ready for it. No matter what, I will succeed, I will come out on top, and I will do what people think I can’t. I promise.
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Positive thinking can lead to positive changes
Written by Jim LutgensEach new year brings generally the same things: new resolutions, the end of winter break, and for some, a fresh start. When I was younger, New Year’s didn’t have much significance to me other than a different number I would be writing on assignments at school. The holiday season goes from the madness of Christmas shopping to family gatherings where food is eaten and gifts are opened to New Year’s Eve, where most people go out and celebrate the transition from one year to the next.
This year, I didn’t really celebrate too much, thanks to the snowstorm that lasted all evening on December 31st and then all melted away in the days that followed. I thought about what my resolutions would be for the year, and then realized that I never follow through with them, anyway (does anyone actually follow through with their resolutions?), so what’s the point in making them? Besides, my resolution at the beginning of 2011 was to make last year better than 2010, and that didn’t happen. In fact, 2011 was one of my worst years ever, for many reasons. Very few good things came out of 2011 for me. I don’t really want to go in-depth about every bad thing that happened, because a lot of it’s personal and it would take way too much time. So I’ll just focus on the good things that happened and hope that karma makes 2012 a very good year. Besides, dwelling on the bad things that happened is pointless.
So, what are some good things that happened in 2011? Well, last January, I met Sam, my boyfriend. And really, if that were the only good thing to happen last year, I would be O.K. with it. I couldn’t be happier with him, and although we’ve gone through some rough times, we’ve always been there for each other and somehow things always work out.
I got to see one of my favorite bands, My Chemical Romance, for the first time last April. When I was in seventh grade, my dad forbid me from listening to them. I refused, though, and finally convinced him that they were actually a good band; he even likes some of their new music. It was April 12th, a warm spring day, and one of my best friends Taylor and I waited in line for about four hours before they even opened the doors. That’s what I love about Taylor — she’s not the most patient person in the world, but when it comes to things like concerts, she could wait for days just to see one. The venue was First Avenue, and I had never been there, though I’d heard nothing but good things about it. That night was one of the best nights of my life. There’s just something so exhilarating about seeing a band that you love play live. I had been waiting almost six years for that day, and it’ll always be a memorable one for me.
Last year was also the first time I went to prom. The first was in Waterville, the second in New Richland. Anyone who really knows me also knows that during my sophomore and junior years of high school, I spent more free time in Waterville than at home. So, needless to say, I loved going to prom in Waterville. Just like any other girl, I love being able to dress up nice for a day and spend time dancing with friends. They were both great nights that I’ll never forget.
The biggest thing that happened in 2011, though, was moving away from home. I’ve already written about this, so I don’t really need to explain it all that much, but it was a huge step for me.
All in all, 2011 was a year full of first experiences for me. Looking back at it, it really wasn’t as bad as I thought it was. There were a lot of good things that happened last year that I kind of forgot about.
It’s so easy to complain about all the bad things that have happened in our lives. It’s not as easy to say, “You know, that really wasn’t that bad,” and move on. If you think about positive things instead of wasting energy thinking about negative things, you’ll find that you’ll be a lot happier. So, even though I don’t have any real “resolutions” for this year, I do plan on looking more at the bright side of things. Smiling more, laughing more, taking more time to realize all of the good things I have in my life and not focusing on all of the bad.
After all, if all you do is think about how terrible your life is and how many problems you have, it can seem like too much to bear. You have the power to change your mood and your life, you just need to realize it and actually do something about it. So, I hope everyone had a safe and happy New Year, and let’s make this year a great one.
Hello again everyone. First of all, I’d like to apologize for not having a column in a while. My life has been really busy with classes, homework, studying, and the new job I recently acquired. These last couple months have flown by. I can hardly believe we’re almost halfway done with October already.
Lately, two of the most common questions I’ve been asked are: “How’s college?” and “How’s living in Mankato?”
The answer to both is the same, “I love it.” Post-secondary is probably the best school-related choice I’ve made, and living in Mankato is great. As for college, people also ask, “Why do you like it so much? What’s it like? Isn’t it a lot more difficult?”
There are many reasons why I like college more than high school. In college, we’re treated like adults. I remember in every year of school from sixth grade and up, the teachers would tell us, “We’re not going to hold your hand anymore. It’s all up to you.” I really don’t know why they tell you that when they still do it. In college, teachers don’t have to say that, because it’s pretty clear we’re on our own.
They’re a lot more strict when it comes to assignments and exams. In all but one of my classes, if you don’t hand in a paper the day it’s due, you don’t get credit for it. No exceptions. It’s up to you to pass the class. Not that I mind; I like the responsibility and independence that comes with being a college student. I like how we aren’t held back by people who might not understand the class.
After all, the classes you take there are all your choice. You’re paying to go to them, and if you don’t want to be there, nobody’s making you stay.
Speaking of students, people at MSU are a lot less judgmental than students in high school. Nobody in college cares what you wear, what brand your clothes are, how your hair is done, etc. High school, on the other hand, is (as a friend of mine once said), “Pretty much a fashion show and a popularity contest in one.” I do not miss the immaturity, drama, judgment and slower pace of high school.
Living in Mankato, I love that there are so many people, places, and things to do. I’m glad I made the decision to live here. Yes, it is difficult, and I’m almost always broke, but at least I’m happy, right? And now that I have a job as a sales associate at J.C. Penney’s, my financial situation should start looking up.
I’m lucky to be able to do this with my life. If anyone is considering post-secondary in high school, I strongly recommend it. When I tell people that I’m in post-secondary, the response I get from almost all of them is, “I wish I would’ve done that. It’s a really smart choice.” I mean, think about it: up to two years of college for free. Who would want to turn that down?
Lastly, I’d like to thank everyone for the positive feedback on my column. When I first started writing it I really didn’t think anyone would like it that much. Your kind words are what encourage and inspire me to keep writing. If you have any questions or comments for me, send me an e-mail at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it..
I’ve been living in Mankato for about two weeks now, and I just started my college classes Monday. I have to say, I love living here. I’ve never liked living in a small town, with its lack of people and things to do. But in Mankato, there are so many things to do. I live right by campus, which makes going to class pretty easy. I get along well with my two roommates (not including my boyfriend—obviously I get along well with him), although they’re not very good at keeping the place clean. Since campus is pretty much the center of everything for college students, I’m right in the middle of it. I can walk to Kwik Trip or University Square, and now that classes have started I can walk to the library or Student Union building and spend time there, if I want. I just really am enjoying living here, and so far, I know I made the right decision in doing so.
I’m taking four classes for my first semester: U.S. Government, Practical Grammar, Intro to U.S. Economy, and Intro to Information Systems. My schedule happened to work out so I don’t have any class on Fridays, which is really nice. I’ve only had two classes so far, but I’m already experiencing the freedoms of college life. It’s nice to not be stuck in the same building for eight hours a day, seeing the same people and teachers during those eight hours. I love being able to go home in between classes. And the best part about post-secondary is I don’t have to worry about the cost of college. Yes, I’m living on my own, but I don’t have any student loans or anything because I’m still in high school (technically), so everything is paid for, most importantly books and tuition.
And it helps that MSU is a good college with a nice campus. There are so many people, it’s incredible. Coming from a school where each class is roughly 70 people, attending a college with thousands of students can be a little overwhelming sometimes. It helps that I know a few other students who go here, so I can ask them if I don’t know where to go or what a class will be like. And I love the opportunity to meet new people. Living in Mankato is a taste of the “real world,” and I’m really enjoying it so far. My dad has been really helpful: buying me groceries and other necessities. I wouldn’t be able to do this without his support. I’ve got a feeling I’m really going to like going to college. And parents, if you have children in high school or who will be in high school, I would definitely suggest looking into post-secondary (PSEO). It’s an amazing opportunity to get college and high school credit while still being enrolled at the high school. I’ll still be graduating with my class at NRHEG in May, but I’ll have a year of college done, as well. And best of all? I don’t have to pay for it!
It's almost been a year now. A year that my grandma Millie was taken from us. She's in heaven now, with my grandpa Lester who passed in 1970, with her parents and sisters and her other loved ones she outlived. And although that knowledge brings some comfort, it still can't fill the missing piece in my heart that appeared when she left.
I still remember the day I was informed of her stroke. It was the afternoon of August 8th. It was a hot, sunny day, and I was already in a bad mood because I had to go to work at McDonald's. I was overtired, hot, cranky, and on my way home from Waterville to pick up my uniform when my phone rang. I wasn't planning on answering it until I saw that it was my dad. "What are you doing?" he asked me.
"Going home to get my uniform because I have to work. I'm tired and really don't want to go," I replied. At this point, I was already close to tears. Then he told me.
"Grandma was airlifted to Rochester; she had a stroke," he said. I instantly burst into tears. "I'm going over to Rochester right now, you can meet me there."
"O.K., I'll be right there," I said, hanging up the phone. I had never cried like that before, ever. I was in hysterics when I called my manager and told her I wouldn't be able to work. I didn't know what to do with myself. All I could think was that Grandma couldn't be taken from us — not then. I always knew the day would come, but nothing can prepare you for something like that. I just always thought she'd be around. I didn't want to think of the day when she might pass away.
I went and picked up my best friend, Jasmine, because I couldn't drive to Rochester by myself. First, though, I pulled over so I could calm down a bit and be able to drive safely. She was crying with me when I called her and told her about Grandma. She knew and loved Grandma, too, and seeing me so upset made her upset, too.
It took what seemed like forever, but we finally made it to St. Mary's Hospital in Rochester. I practially ran to the Intensive Care Unit. When I entered her room, seeing her in that state, made me upset all over again. It was one of the only days she could still talk to us, although she didn't really know what she was saying. I held her hand and told her I loved her. She told me she loved me, too. That was the last time I heard those words come from her mouth.
She spent exactly two weeks in Rochester, her condition gradually getting worse and worse, and I went to visit her every day during those two weeks. The doctor told us the stroke affected over half of her brain, and even if she had pulled out of it, she would never be the same. I remember having to make the decision with my dad of whether or not to resuscitate her if something failed, and then having to decide to take her feeding tube out. We knew Grandma wouldn't want to be kept alive artificially. She lived a long, great life, and as she told me before, "When it's my time, God will take me." Those words were what helped us make those decisions.
On August 22nd, at about four in the morning, Grandma Millie took her last breath. My dad waited until I woke up the next day to tell me. It was the day before my 17th birthday. This time, the news didn't come as much of a shock, because we knew this day was coming soon. But that didn't help the pain at all.
My Grandma's funeral was really difficult to get through. My three best friends, Jasmine, Taylor, and Heidi went with me — they were there for me every step of the way. Honestly, I wouldn't have been able to do it without them or my family. They gave me the strength, encouragement and love I needed to be able to get through each day. At the funeral, various relatives I didn't really know too well asked me, "Are you Jessica, Millie's granddaughter? She loved you so much. She used to speak so highly of you all the time." Those words warmed my heart. I knew Grandma loved me very much, but hearing about how she told others about me put a real smile on my face, my first real smile in about two weeks.
My Grandma's death was the most difficult thing I'd ever gone through. Besides my parents, she was the person I loved most in the world, and she was the first loved one I'd ever lost. As my brothers and I were growing up, she came over every Monday and Thursday for about six years (and any other day that my dad asked) to babysit us while my dad worked nights at the Albert Lea Tribune. She was there for every Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, Christmas concerts at school, dance recitals, birthdays and more throughout the years. When I got my license, I would go and visit her at least once a week, usually more.
Every time I went and visited her, I could tell how happy she was to see me, and she would tell me every time how it made her day just to see me. When she was babysitting us when I was little and I was crying because I missed my dad, she would hug me and tell me it was O.K. and that I would see him the next day when he was home. She loved my family so much, and we loved her just as much.
There isn't a day that goes by I don't think about her. It still makes me really sad to think about her, but I also look back fondly on all the memories I have with her. Those are all I have left now — memories. But I know she's in a better place, and I know that she's watching over me. Just because she passed away doesn't mean she stopped loving me. I have to remind myself of that when I get upset about it, when I miss her so much I can't help but cry.
I can't believe it's almost been a whole year. I wish so badly she could be here with us now, to see me turn 18. I wish I could go to her house and hear her tell me stories about growing up on the farm. That was the thing about my Grandma — she loved to talk. I would just sit there and listen to her intently as she told me stories. She told me about what she did that day and what she was planning on doing that week. She was filled with so much love, and she lived an amazing 86 years. So here's to you, Grandma. I miss you, I love you, and I'll see you again one day. Until then, keep on shining, keep watching over us, my guardian angel. Your memory will forever live on, and my love for you is still as strong as it has ever been.