By DEB BENTLY
Staff Writer
Last fall, New Richland residents Kelly Delacruz and her partner Robert Shaw recognized a gap they were willing to help fill.
“There’s a desperate shortage of foster homes,” Delacruz comments. “And we knew about someone who needed some help.”
After checking with the four children of their blended family living with them, the two went through the process to become licensed foster care providers. Given the home inspection, background checks and required paperwork, the process takes about three months; the pair first received their license last October.
Delacruz comments she is grateful she worked with the Lutheran Social Services office out of Mankato, saying the agency offered guidance and support each step of the way.
Candy Picka, the agency’s statewide program manager for therapeutic foster care, confirms there is a need for additional foster families. In 2023, she reveals, 6,150 Minnesota children experienced “out of home” care.
Both Picka and Delacruz mention encountering the misconception that children in foster care are there because of their own behavior.
“Pretty much all the children,” said Picka, “are in the system because of circumstances beyond their control.” She mentions parents who must be absent from the home to seek medical care or treatment for addiction; children have sometimes been the victims of abuse or neglect and are removed from the home for their own safety.
“Nearly all the children in foster care are there because of something the parents or family members need to work on,” observes Picka.
Another common misconception is about what it takes to be qualified to provide foster care. Picka says the Lutheran Social Services (LSS) office out of Mankato works with 24 foster homes. She mentions one which has been part of the system for 25 years. “We have married couples, singles, young adults. We have families with and without a stay-at-home parent.
“If your family has the room, time, patience and love to take care of them, foster children could live in your home,” she says.
County government agencies are the ones which determine which children must be placed out of their homes based on child protection rules and practices. Once a placement is decided upon, county employees begin looking for a place which can care for the children. Some counties, Picka explains, have placement agencies of their own. Others contact services like LSS to find homes; Picka estimates area counties may have working relationships with three to five agencies like hers.
It is a general practice to try and keep siblings together and to keep children as close to home as possible, but circumstances may not always allow doing so.
Delacruz comments that she and Shaw have learned a great deal over the past few months. This has included practical, everyday details such as the proper way to install and use carseats to procedural life lessons like being ready for anything and keeping track of details.
When their home is being considered for a placement, Delacruz explains, a call will come from LSS checking to see whether there is a possibility the numbers and ages of children can be accommodated at her house. “We can always say no,” she points out. “But we also want to help kids whenever we can.
“After all, it’s a safe bet they’re experiencing some sort of crisis.”
Foster children may be scheduled to stay a day or two, a few weeks, or even to be “permanently” placed in a home. The length of the stay is also something Delacruz and her family take into account when deciding whether or not to accept a placement.
Once her family consents and the children arrive, Delacruz says, they may have suitcases packed with everything they need, or they may have only the clothes on their backs.
“You work out a system for times like that,” says Delacruz lightheartedly, mentioning New Richland’s Lady Bug thrift shop has been supportive and helpful. She is also quick to point out the county and philanthropic organizations also provide needed items.
When it comes to keeping track of details, Delacruz mentions children may need to be transported to medical appointments, family visits, court appearances and other events. When she or Shaw are available, they can take care of it and be reimbursed for their expenses; otherwise county representatives ensure it is taken care of.
“There are a lot of supports in place to make it all do-able,” she observes. “The longer you do it, the better you get to know those supports.
“But no matter how well you know them, it’s really beneficial to be working with an agency like Lutheran Social Services.” Delacruz is highly complimentary regarding how accessible and helpful Picka and others have been. She says an important element of being a foster parent is providing stability, structure, and attention to the children’s individual needs, which can be widely varied depending on the circumstances of their home lives.
When behaviors are difficult, she says she reminds herself not to take it personally.
“I have barely any idea what that child may have been through,” she points out. “Just like with any children, they need time, patience, love and understanding.” She says the rewards of the work are seeing the children become comfortable in their new setting. She also enjoys seeing the children’s pleasure when they have a chance to try something that hasn’t been part of their lives in the past. “Even a simple walk with the family or an afternoon playing in the park can be really profound,” she observes.
Both Delacruz and Picka make clear that, when children are removed from their homes, the goal is to reunite the family. While children are in placement, parents may be taking part in activities meant to help them manage their everyday lives in a way that assures the children’s needs will be met.
Delacruz mentions that some people have an impression being a foster parent is a way to make money. “Yes, the costs for caring for the children are met,” she says. “You’re not losing money, but you’re not making money, either.
“The reason to do it is because you know you’re doing something to help children who have likely had some very rough stretches in their lives, and you’re trying to be part of a path to improvement.
“The kids may be confused and uncertain about what’s going on. They may have trouble recognizing their role in the new circumstances.
“But as far as I’m concerned, they’re part of my family for the time they’re with us. I hope someday they’ll have the perspective to look back and know they had a place in our lives and our hearts.”
Candy Picka shared a note she received from another person who has been a foster parent: “I feel fortunate to play a small part in each foster child’s story by giving them a temporary loving home and family. It is amazing to watch my own children build relationships with every child who they see as a sibling. My family has become more patient, stronger, and empathetic by providing foster care to children in our community.”