Fear is a powerful emotion. It can be something that is always with you or something that crops up suddenly. Either way, fear can be quite crippling.
The summer after I had finished college, my buddies and I headed out to a pond near Winona to do some swimming. I was a good swimmer, nothing special, but able to hold my own. It was a fun activity, and we were just a bunch of guys who were enjoying some of our last days together before I headed off to teach in New Richland.
We decided to swim across the pond and back again. No problem, right? I don’t remember exactly how far across this body of water was, but it wasn’t just a quick jaunt. I made it across and rested a bit, while my friends headed back to the other side. I started out to make my return swim when, halfway across, I cramped up in a big way. I panicked, worked on treading water, and called for help to my companions who were already to the other side.
My friend Derek swam out quickly and helped drag me in to shore, but not before I had unintentionally gulped down a lot of pond water. It was frightening, and I was sorry I had ruined the rest of the afternoon. Nobody really felt like swimming anymore after that.
That was 28 years ago. I had not been swimming in an open body of water since. Swimming pools were not a problem; I could touch the bottom and always see where I was. But even the mention of swimming somewhere else caused a hackle to rise on the back of my neck. I’ve visited both the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans since, but never gone out farther than knee high.
And here we were in Australia, ready to snorkel at the Great Barrier Reef, the opportunity of a lifetime! I was really excited. That fear that had been with me all those years took a backseat when I thought about how cool this would be.
Then I put on all the gear and sat at the edge of the water. Could I really do this? I could feel that fear return. I plunged in and tried to put my head under water. The panic enveloped me, and I found it hard to breathe as I gazed at the beautiful views that were under those waves. I was only about ten feet from the boat, but I swam back and grasped ahold of it for dear life.
Some of the adults on the trip knew about my fear of deep water; I thought it would be good to share, even though I was confident it wouldn’t flare up. After all, I had never really tried swimming again in a situation like that. And I knew this seemed dumb. I had on a lifejacket and was surrounded by people; I wasn’t going to drown. But the logical part of my brain was on a separate vacation.
The worst part was that Michelle and I had signed up for a special swim with a marine biologist to explore parts of the reef far from the boat. No way I could do that now; if I couldn’t get more than ten feet from the boat, how could I do more?
So much credit goes to Michelle for talking me through my fear. She knew it was not just something you can switch off. But she stood with me and pointed out groups that were traveling with their own guides. She really didn’t want me to miss this adventure!
Michelle was very soothing and understanding, and we noticed that the guides had a buoy with them that people could hold onto if they wanted or needed. Okay, I had to do this.
I explained my fear to our guide, and she was very empathetic. She told me to hang on to the buoy and she would make sure I was okay. I went on the adventure and am so happy I did! I felt some of the fear when we were the farthest away from the boat, but I just held on and kept putting my head under the water to see the marine life that was so unique to Australia.
I had never felt anything like this before in my life. I have been afraid, like in watching a movie or worrying about someone, but I have never felt fear so powerful.
Then I started thinking of people with fears that can impact their lives daily. Claustrophobia (enclosed spaces), acrophobia (heights), trypanophobia (needles), and agoraphobia (open spaces) can really affect somebody regularly.
I had an MRI recently and thought about people with claustrophobia; there’s no way they could do one of those. I also gave blood, a no-go for people with trypanophobia. We went to the top of the Sydney Tower Eye, even taller than the Space Needle, a trip acrophobes would never attempt. And I love being on ball diamonds, a place you’d never find an acrophobe.
We all have things we don’t like. You’re not necessarily an arachnophobe just because you don’t like spiders. It’s if you have an actual, sometimes crippling, fear of the eight-legged creatures that you have a phobia. I was attacked by a large dog when I was little, and I am a little hesitant around big canines, but I can handle it okay.
I had never really tested my fear of open water before our trip. I would never have been able to deal with it if not for Michelle. Many people find their way through a phobia only with the help of others. Thank goodness I had my wonderful wife with to help give me an experience I’ll never forget, for all the right reasons.
But I think I can retire my bathing suit!
Word of the Week: This week’s word is thalassophobia, which means a fear of open or deep water, as in, “The man did not know the name of his fear until he researched for a column after panicking in open water and discovered he had thalassophobia.” Impress your friends and confuse your enemies!