Time for a change. Short shorts are first in this column. Some are fact, some are fiction. You decide.
1. The standard of corn knee high by the fourth has been changed to belly button high by the fourth of July. (Most corn met the new standard in 2020.)
2. On Fountain Lake in Albert Lea is a nice duck, boat and boat slip with a for sale sign. In small letters on the four sale sign the following: Includes duck droppings.
3. The morning of July 5, 2020, Fountain Lake in Albert Lea was the cleanest ever for a July 5. (Do you suppose no city fireworks July 4 was the reason?
4. What happened to the July 4, 2020 funds to be used for the fireworks?
5. What is the cause of all the dead clams caught in the dam on Bridge Street coming out of Fountain Lake in Albert Lea? Do you suppose it had something to do with the crawdad-clam festival in Harrison, Arkansas being cancelled due to the coronavirus?
6. Tis the season for eating asparagus. Asparagus contains the sulpher compound called mercaptan. This sulfur is also found in onions, garlic, rotten eggs and skunks. About half the population will give off the smell after as little as 15 minutes after eating asparagus. Even Ben Franklin described the odor as “Disagreeable,” in his essay on flatulence called “fart proudly.” There is a bill proposed by the growers to change the spelling to “asparagas.”
7. Octogenarian Violet Hansen of Glenville completed one of her bucket list items this summer. She boarded an airplane for a flight, but wasn’t on the airplane when it landed. See Violet for details.
8. Our neighbor went to a farm auction and bought two sunburst ornaments for $4. The question became where to put them? The solution was solved when the spouse purchased and had a $7 shed with one ornament on the east side and the other ornament on the west side of the shed now occupying their back yard. Readers, can you figure out which spouse made the initial purchase?
9. Genie proved what is good for the gander is also good for the goose. She was drawn as a $25 winner of the weekly Albert Lea Reader’s Choice Contest. (I was drawn previously.) Both of us voted for Terrie Green as our favorite newspaper employee.
Some things to think about per the scientific and medical professions regarding the coronavirus:
A. The longer a person is in the vicinity of another person, the greater the risk to exposure. In other words when passing someone in an aisle at Hy-Vee, the risk is less than being in your church sanctuary with the same someone.
B. Aerosols, which are how the virus is spread, disperse more quickly outside, whereas indoors they hang around in the air for a longer period of time. The poorer the ventilation system, the longer the aerosols hang around, thus the greater danger.
C. The coronavirus is the number one cause of death in the USA currently. The aerosols are spread in the air through coughing, sneezing, talking, with singing being the deadliest form of transmission.
D. In using a glow light to see the particles in a room where people were in, even hours later, you would be surprised at the aerosol particles still in the room.
E. Wearing of face masks will slow the spread of the virus.
F. Hopefully, a preventative vaccine will be available in 2021.
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Bob is a retired AAL (Aid Association for Lutherans) agent, currently working on his master’s degree in Volunteering. His wife, Genie, is a retired RN, currently working on her doctor’s degree in Volunteering. They have two children, Deb in North Carolina, and Dan in Vermont. Bob says if you enjoy his column, let him know. If you don’t enjoy it, keep on reading, it can get worse. Words of wisdom: There is always room for God.