This is another one of my hop-scotch columns. (A running of the words in street talk language.)
Words of wisdom to every deer hunter when illegally dumping the deer carcass: “Remove the deer license tag first.”
All hikers when petting black and white kitties will learn there are two kinds: “Those that are odorless and those that aren’t.”
Genie observed two cottontail rabbits eating her pretty red and yellow tulips. (The rabbits preferred the yellow tulips.) As my CEO, Genie told me to solve the problem. I got out my old daisy air rifle and created a good and a bad random act of kindness in two shots. The good was for Genie and the tulips, the bad was for the two rabbits. (We each enjoyed two meals of Hasenpfeffer Rabbit with a glass of red wine.)
A few days after eating the rabbits a man in a conservation uniform knocked on our door. He said he had a search warrant for our freezer. He looked in our freezer and started mumbling to himself. He told me he was aware that I liked to hunt and fish but there was nothing in the freezer to prove it.
I explained that I didn’t get a deer last fall, didn’t catch any fish this winter and we no longer had a cabin at Beaver Lake, thus no pan fish to bring from the lake. He asked if I was aware of the two rabbits (that he had received a TIP that had shot) were not in season. Genie answered that when she got done marinating them they were very much in season. As he walked out we heard him muttering, “You can always tell a Norwegian but you can’t tell them much.”
Paula of Beaver Lake fame told me she wasn’t going to have any more birthdays so I didn’t give her the as usual Hallmark birthday card with a picture of Jackson on one side and In God We Trust on the other side of a Federal Reserve note.
I wanted an extra copy of the Albert Lea Tribune paper dated April 9. There weren’t any to be bought. In checking I found out long time residents of Beaver Lake had purchased all of them. It was because a kindergarten student at Lakeview Elementary School in Albert Lea with the same last name had a worksheet about an Easter Bunny in the paper. Claire LaFrance, you sold out the Albert Lea paper that day.
Look at May 9-10 on your calendar. All Minnesota resident moms fish free the entire weekend. Whether living or deceased, honor that great mom of yours on May 10. Ask yourself if Mom had anything to do with your being in this great world.
Ole of Grand Marais, Minnesota decided it was safe to try one more fishing outing on his ATV before the ice went out. Ole now knows a grappling hook is the best lure to use when fishing for an ATV.
———
Bob is a retired AAL (Aid Association for Lutherans) agent, currently working on his master’s degree in Volunteering. His wife, Genie, is a retired RN, currently working on her doctor’s degree in Volunteering. They have two children, Deb in North Carolina, and Dan in Vermont. Bob says if you enjoy his column, let him know. If you don’t enjoy it, keep on reading, it can get worse. Words of wisdom: There is always room for God.