Echoes from the Loafers’ Club Meeting
“I heard you got a job cleaning windows.”
“That’s right.”
“Do you get paid by the window?”
“No, I get paid by the boss.”
Driving by the Bruces
I have two wonderful neighbors — both named Bruce — who live across the road from each other. Whenever I pass their driveways, thoughts occur to me, such as: I’ve saved a lot of daylight over the years. I wonder where I put it?
Excusercise
I walked into my office three times before I remembered why I walked into my office. I acquired a facial tissue and a pencil on my first two visits, so my trips were not for naught. This behavior is beneficial in that it provides an exercise program that I cannot forget to do even when I forget to do it.
Café chronicles
The table topic was obituary photos. One of the talkers said that the newspaper obituary photos are never current. Of course, they’re out of date. The photos were taken when the dearly departeds were still alive.
Those thrilling days of yesteryear
My father wore overalls and coveralls. They were the perfect dress for a hard-working farmer. His uniform came with a pocket for pliers. Dad said that if he had a pair of pliers, he was prepared for emergencies.
I read the Boy Scout Handbook when I was a boy but not a Scout. Those guys were prepared. I wanted to be a Boy Scout when I was a lad, but there wasn’t a troop near me. However, thanks to my father, I was prepared. I had my own pliers.
International Owl Festival
I met Roar Solheim at the International Owl Festival held in Houston, MN. Roar is from Norway. A Norwegian and a Minnesotan —the conversation naturally turned to comic books and lutefisk. Roar told me that Donald Duck is immensely popular in Norway and that they do eat lutefisk there. Roar said that he prepared lutefisk a bit differently than we do. He puts bacon, mustard, and bacon grease on the wily cod.
Writing
I was presenting a class for young writers at Bethany Lutheran College in Mankato. There had been a substantial snowfall and I went for an early morning walk to listen to the spring songs of birds on a wintery day. I heard another sound. Wwwwiiirrrrzzzz! The sound of spinning tires attempting to scale an icy hill. It brought back memories of the dilapidated cars with bad tires that I have owned.
Snow go
We had snowball fights when I was a boy. They seemed natural. We whipped snowballs at one another at great velocity. Every part of the body was a target. The only rule was that we could not throw iceballs. We’d heard horror stories of bad neighborhoods where iceballs were the norm and some poor child had been seriously injured by one of the icy missiles.
I listened to Joe Mansky, Ramsey County Elections Manager, testify before a legislative committee. Mansky said that 18 percent of Minnesotans move each year. I’ll bet some move just to escape iceballs.
Nature notes
Winter has been a hard, long slog. Spring is just around the corner—Lord willing and the snow banks don’t rise. Some of my neighbors know how to handle winter. They fly to Florida. They can’t be happy there. There’s no ice fishing in Florida. The rest of us stay here and attack winter as if we were shampooing our hair. Shovel, sleep, repeat. I’ve placed robin decoys on my lawn in the hopes of attracting spring. They’ll likely draw in orange barrels. I know it is spring when the zipper on my winter coat starts working. It’s not that difficult to notice spring signs. Smell a skunk? That’s the scent of spring and a sign that spring is just around the corner—sharing that space with winter. Look for yellow in the bills of starlings, the feathers of goldfinches, and in weeping willows. Crows carrying sticks and red-winged blackbird males singing “Look at me!” Chipmunks become active, mourning doves coo, red osier dogwood is a bright red (the red veins of spring), red-tailed hawks are paired up, and Canada geese stand on ice. Earthworms make short migrations to the surface. Spring has false starts. Just remember that other places have winter, too.
Meeting adjourned
Dale Carnegie said, “You have it easily in your power to increase the sum total of this world's happiness now. How? By giving a few words of sincere appreciation to someone who is lonely or discouraged. Perhaps you will forget tomorrow the kind words you say today, but the recipient may cherish them over a lifetime.”