Echoes from the Loafers’ Club Meeting
I’m reminded of what Grandpa said right before he kicked the bucket.
What was that?
He said, “Watch me kick this bucket.”
Driving by Bruce's drive
I have a wonderful neighbor named Bruce. Whenever I pass his drive, thoughts occur to me. I lost my wedding band. You’re likely thinking I didn’t lose the band, they all retired to Florida. I walk outside a lot. I don’t always wear gloves. Cold weather, I’d lost some weight and I wash my hands regularly. All those things conspired to help me lose a precious item. I miss it. Maybe I’ll replace it with the tattoo of a ring on my ringless finger.
My wife and I visited the Watkins Museum in Winona. Growing up, Watkins was a household name with its door-to-door sales force, each member known as “The Watkins Man.” Families were less mobile in those days and The Watkins Man brought spices, vanilla extract, liniment, mouse killer, cough syrup, petro-carbo salve, baking products, home remedies, household items and a case of samples to homes since 1868. The company sold coffee that folks sweetened by adding a drop or two of Watkins vanilla to the grounds. The company has moved away from its door-to-door marketing strategy, but currently offers 350 products through a wide range of retailers and independent consultants.
I’ve learned
We all know a busybody, someone who wants to mind everyone else’s business and has a tongue that wags at both ends. I don’t mind them. I mind my own business.
There is a rabbit on the moon. The man on the moon was lactose intolerant.
Sunshine and laughter are miracle cures.
Small dill pickles aren’t called dill pixels.
If you take the road less traveled, you’ve missed your turn.
Bad joke department
I brush my teeth alongside my wife because dentists say brushing alone won’t prevent cavities.
My neighbor's diary says I have boundary issues.
Do you know what ADHD stands for? It’s Attention Deficit Hey Doughnuts.
Spy balloons shot down to combat inflation.
A priest, a minister and a rabbit walked into a bar. The rabbit was there because of autocorrect.
Does an apple a day keep the doctor away or is it just one of Granny’s myths?
Only a snowman should pick his nose in the produce department of a supermarket.
In local news
Sale at Lloyd's Last Minute Shop is from 4:59 p.m. to 5 p.m.
First aid class proves to be a lost gauze.
Return to slender at Elvis‘s Fitness Center.
A work comp claim was filed after an employee wrenched neck watching the clock.
Man enjoyed his first season of beekeeping and plans to add a second bee next year.
Predicting the weather
Fog in January means we will have a wet spring.
For every fog in August comes a day of snow in the winter.
Note the day of the month with the first snow deep enough to track a rabbit. This indicates how many deep snows will fall in the winter.
A killing frost occurs 90 days after the katydids begin singing.
Hartland Harold
Tim Donovan of Hartland said my late neighbor Claudie Bias once made the long trip to Worthington. Upon his return, Claudie said, “You just can’t beat Hartland.”
My granddaughter Joey Batt, a junior basketball player at Minnesota State, ranks 3rd in career steals and 10th in career scoring for that program. Go, Jo!
Nature notes
Valentine’s Day brings the smell of skunk in the air, red-tailed hawks perched side-by-side, squirrels chasing one another in pre-mating behavior, bald eagle pairs restructuring nests, barred owls calling more often, chipmunks coming above ground for a look, white-breasted nuthatch males calling “Huh, huh, huh,” woodpeckers drumming and black-capped chickadees singing, “Spring’s here.”
I enjoyed visiting with Kenny Blumenfeld, the Senior Climatologist with the Minnesota DNR. I gleaned plenty from listening to this interesting fellow. La Nina is present, but its influence is waning. It’s been hard to find frost deeper than 10 inches. The 2010s were the wettest decade on record in Southern Minnesota. Harmony set a state annual precipitation record with 60.21 inches in 2018. Caledonia had 57.97 inches in 2018, Waseca 56.24 inches in 2016 and Mabel 55.55 in 2018. Summer highs have dropped since 1895, but the humidity has risen. Our grandparents had colder extremes than we do as average winter lows have warmed since 1895. Thunderstorms produce more rain than before. Trends are towards wetter and warmer conditions, with shorter and less severe winters, and a longer growing season on average. The annual blizzard around the state basketball tournament has moved into February. Kenny told me there would be no snow during the spring softball and baseball season unless it snowed.
I checked Iowa’s records and they showed average temperatures have warmed 1.3° since the late 1800s.
Meeting adjourned
“Help wanted” signs abound. They prove we all need help. Be kind.